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Hey Meghan! I know this girl whos liked this guy 4 a very long time, right? They've been friends ever since they were babies, and used to be really close. Then they got into middle school and they started to kind of hate eachother because they were embarrased to have such a close friend of the opposite gender, so they drifted apart. Now they are over this very immature phase/stage and are beginning to talk and communicate harmoniously and are rekindling their friendship. This is stirring up a lot of old, and some new, feelings in her (for him). She trusts him and values their friendship, but wants to show her feelings. Alas, at the same time, she is terrified of what his reaction might be. She's afraid that if he does not respect her feelings (even if he doesnt feel the same), their friendship will be skewed. But at the same time, she still reminds herself that there is always the possibility that he just might share the same feelings for her. She longs to share a relationship with him...the one she has always known and trusted with everything she had, and the one who had always been right under her nose.
She's currently in a long-distance relationship with an amazing guy that she'd go to all ends of the universe for, and who would do the same for her. They, however, aren't tied down to eachother, even though their relationship is strong. They don't want to take absolute control of eachother and they don't want to take away freedom from eachother because they want eachother to live a normal life. This is confusing to other people. The two of them know the terms of the relationship and have an understanding of many aspects. This makes their relationship and trust grow, and makes both of them stronger people. She DOESN'T want to "break up" with him (even though they are not "going out") because she doesn't have to. He is very open to her having relationships with the guys she's surrounded by, and doesn't want to see her lonely. (basically she is lucky, because she can have her cake and eat it too) This being said, the guy that she's known all her life is the ONLY guy (besides the long distance one) she would consider "going out" with (because going out should not be taken lightly).
What is this girl to do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
First off, I know how you feel as far as having a guy best friend that you've known since you were a baby. I also understand the "drifting apart" thing too, because that's what happened to me as well. Secondly, now that he's a little more mature (or as mature as he'll ever get :P) and possibly betetr looking (I'm guessing that's the case) it's going to be perfectly natural to feel a little different, and perhaps a little more intimate towards him. I mean, your whole life, you've probably thought of this guy as goofy and fun-loving, the perfect best friend to hang out with 24/7. But now, you're seeing him in a whole new light. He's becoming more serious, more into other girls, more at your level of maturity. You're probably like "Wow, I never realized how cool he really is!" Epiphanies such as these can sometimes bring out unwanted or unexpected emotions. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't feel guilty for liking him a little bit. But, if I understand you correctly, you're thinking of REALLY making it serious...this is also normal, though not common. You probably trust him more than any other guy because you've known him longer than anybody. You've seen his sensitive side, the side that he never shows anyone else. You've gotten to know the real him. You feel comfortable around him, and wouldn't feel awkward taking it to the next level. On the other hand, you're not sure is he feels the same way...would he completely freak out and never speak to you again? Or would he admitt that he feels the same way...both are liable questions, but niether can be answered truthfully. All we can do is guess, pick up clues, and take hints. That's another thing us girls have to deal with (as if we don't have enough crap to deal with already) trying to read guys. It's a whole heck of alot harder than reading girls! Most girls are like open books, if you read between the lines. But I think before you actually confess to him, you should send him some signals, flirt with him a little, and note how he reacts. If he seems grossed out (and he's not just trying to be cool or w/e) then I would leave it alone. But if he doesn't really react any special way, or flirts back, or jokes around with you or something of that nature, then keep on doing it! And when you feel the time is right (it's different for everyone) casually bring up the subject.
Now, as for your long distance boyfriend, at your age (I'm guessing it's close to mine) you don't need the added pressure of a boyfriend that you only see every five months or so. You should be free to do whatever you want and flirt with whomever you want here, without worrying about what he might think if he found out. And I know he said that he wouldn't care if you did date someother guy, but deep down he really does. It's not fair to either of you to say you have a long distance relationship, then go off and go out with someone else. It's betraying to you guy's emotions, and in the long run, it'll just tear you down. You don't need to have a boyfriend all the time. I know it seems like you're all alone when you're single, but at least you aren't tied down by the thought of "OMG, I really want to ask that guy to dance, but what would so-and-so think???" Not that you would think that, but you get it. This guy far far away sounds really great, and I'm sure you like him alot, but it's going to be too confusing to flirt with your best friend with whom you want to be more than friends, and still have room in your heart for the other. Sorry to break it to you, but you can never have your cake and eat it too. It would screw up the entire heart-breaking cycle I like to call life. I hope I helped : )
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