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What does he mean?
I was in pretty close contact with a guy for almost a year recently, as a job we were both doing required it. He sent me mixed messages throughout our time spent working together, but I always assumed it meant nothing as he had just started going out with another girl, and I had a boyfriend. I can quite honestly say that I never gave him reason to believe I had feelings for him. Now I feel that he acts as if he has some claim over me, as he's somehow managed to get hold of said boyfriend's number and has begun texting him and trying to probe into our relationship. I still see him around and he tends to flirt, as well as dropping nasty little comments about my boyfriend, telling me I'd be better off with 'someone who knows me'. I like this guy - and we really have shared a lot in the past year - but he's toyed with me from the start and I'm not sure if a friendship is going to be worth it if he keeps acting like this. I appreciate that I should talk to him about this, but I really would find that difficult and I doubt it would help - as I'm sure you assume, it's hard for me to describe how complicated the situation is in words. Please let me know what's going on.
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Well, being blunt it sounds like he obviously has feelings for you, and is finally acting on them. I hate to say it but many guys seems to view a close friendship with a girl as a back-door to going out- he's hoping that after all the time you've spent with him you'll pick him over your boyfriend. The comments he's been dropping about your boyfriend seem to confirm this- he's checking the state of your relationship, and seeing if its fragile or not. If you did break up with your boyfriend I'd bet dollars to rubles he'd be around to 'help you through it.' This seems like fairly lame behaviour- he can't be blamed for being attracted to you but his attitude clearly stinks, it isn't honourable to attempt to drive a wedge between you and your boyfriend ( I mean, if you wanna win, you have to win fairly). Basically my advice is- if you really value his friendship then you'll have to keep him in line (a female friend recommends acting cold whenever he mentions your boyfriend). If he continues to act like this then seriously I'd say ditch him, he sounds like a bit of an arse anyway.
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