|
Never had boyfriend
Hi there, thanks for taking the time to listen to me complain because no one else wants to hear it...
Im 17 and have never been asked out, had a boyfriend, had a boy as a friend , or any other possible boy-girl relationships you could think of. The older guys seem to like me which scares me a lot because when I went to ST Thomas, a 29 year old was hitting on me and asked me if I played pool (hence a date). I think a black kid likes me and hes very nice and all but hes just not right for me. The problem is, even when I meet someone who is ever slightly interested I get all sick to my stomach and am so excited. 100% of the time I am let down, such as the time when I met this physical therapist who was flirting with me and then I saw him again and he seemed lijke he didnt even know me. It was heartbreaking too because I waited two weeks and all i thought about was "friday, jack will be there! friday friday friday. I think i spent tooo much time thinking about it and now im so sad again.. I know hes too old for me anyways, but I seem so pathetic. People tell me Im smart and pretty, like uh my doctor, and uh my MOM and random waitresses. One time I was leaving the YMCA and some lady told me i looked like priness di, which i dont think so i have brown hair and hazel eyes, lol but anyways my best four friends dont have boyfriends either and we never have. its not like we are giving ourselves out. no one takes us for a ride. Usually I find a guy I like at school and try and find out more about them, and im dissapointed to find out theyve had sex, or drink all the time, or smoke pot, or are just plain boring! Sometimes I find myself trying to ignore them but yet i cant. I thought maybe life would be easier as a lesbian because so many girls love me as a freind and even they tell me im pretty. Ive been capatin of soccer and lacrosse numerous times because everyone (girls ) love me. It sucked when I thought one of the girls was hitting on me and i was scared! But i Know thats not the sexuality I am, and I guess thats just me being stupid again. I see myself falling for the older guys, around 20-26ish and for some reason its hard for me to even have interest in guys my own age. Maybe its because of the bad expeinces ive had, since most guys my age are all about sex, smoking, drinking, and anything else I can imagine. I just want a good guy who is a legal age to go out with who likes me for who i am. Im so sick of hearing "oh the right guy hasnt come along": when I see these perfect couples at school or the mall. Life is tough sometimes.. Im also worried about my car and if guys wil try to use me for it. Id be really sad to find out if Jimmy likes me and I like him but really Jimmy only loves my mini cooper convertible :( my aunt thinks im going to be hurt by that kind of stuff... i dont know! i am sooo confused
Thanks again,
17,f,ny
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I'm not really sure what to tell you. You can't change who you are, and you can't change the guys that you meet. But instead of judging them by their actions or how boring they are, you should give them a chance. It's okay if they've had sex, you don't have to. If it's hard for you to have feelings for guys your own age, well you don't have to force it. In a couple years the boys your age will be the older guys you're looking at now. I know you hate hearing it, but maybe it's just the right guy hasn't come around. Or maybe you're being to picky. Either way, a guy won't use you for your car. He might like the car, and like that you have one but he won't use you for it. That's kind of ridiculous.
<33
]
Hey,
It's hard to have gotten to 17 and still have no relationships to speak of. You want "A good guy who is a legal age to go out with who likes you for who you are". It's one of the easiest things to ask for, and you're nowhere near some of the people on here who just seem so picky that you wonder if they'll ever find someone that they can care for. I think you already understand that things go both ways. To keep a good guy, who likes you for who you are, then you would have to like him for who he was - not want him to be someone else. I'm losing the point here, aren't I.
People who can't be bothered thinking about problems will usually come up with an answer like "oh the right guy hasnt come along", as you've found. It's just bullcrap. The right guy never "comes along". That doesn't mean that there isn't a right guy. It doesn't mean that you won't meet, or find the right guy. They NEVER "come along". Someone on here quaintly put it as 90% of guys are jerks and players. Only 10% are the real sweethearts. I put it more to the 95% jerks, and it's true. I often mean-mouth my own gender, because there are just so many guys who are so STUPID. They don't know what they've got, don't even try to understand. Unfortunately for the other gender, it's mostly the 95% who hit on you, because they're the ones who don't see anything wrong with dumping 4 girls a week, some of the sicker ones seem to have goals to meet in that respect. It's very easy for a lot of players to put on the "sweet caring 'good guy' " act, and that makes it hard to find the good guys without ratting out at least a few of the players. The good news is that most of the players are easy enough to brush off, for a girl whose doctor calls her smart ^.- The players are out for one thing. They want to have fun, or benefit at your expense. This means either sex, or just general turmoil with your feelings, you can run across some REALLY creepy guys. The point is that if they think that you aren't going to fall for it, they won't keep trying very long. They might try to pull the joker card of "love", but if you can really see through all the crap, you'll see how much they really, really want you to take that card. Take it, and rip it up into little shreds :)
So, the best way... maybe the only way you're going to find a guy who really cares is to give yourself as much time with the guys as possible. You have to find him, or give him a chance to notice you. Being beautiful can sometimes work against you with shy guys. And often enough, it's the shy guys who haven't had a million girlfriends before you. If you notice someone you like, and it doesn't seem like there's much chance of him feeling important enough to ask you out - break the stereotype. ASK HIM OUT! It's not as big a crime as people think it is. Most people who follow the stereotype haven't even bothered to think about it for themselves. But when you're serious about trying to find a nice guy, he has to know that you like him as much as you want him to like you too.
Your car shouldn't matter. You already know that. It's fine if the guy you find likes your car. He should never like your car more than you, and he should never just be with you to take advantage of the petrol you have in the tank. If you're with a guy, and he seems to be leeching, asking for one ride too many... he probably is. Sometimes, players keep up longer relationships for convenience. It can often make them more sincere, but behind it all, he's only thinking of himself, and you seem to be able to see things like that.
So, to go back: You have to be seen, and you have to observe the guys, and maybe, just maybe you'll find a nice one.
17,m,Aus
Being in the same situation, I'd be happy to talk through email...
If you want to talk, send something to me@sadloser.com (no, I'm not kidding ;) I don't use it often, because it gets spammed horribly. It's probably because I post it around the place.
I'll reply from a hotmail address.
Ok, on second thoughts, i just checked the sadloser account, and the site isn't letting me in. If you want to talk, private question me, and I'll give you my hotmail, then delete the question a few days later.
-K
]
Hmm...Guys around our age tend to be like that, but I can give you a hint, stay away from drugies, and guys who tend to be jerks. Some guys tend to be afraid of athletic women too, watch out for sexists. However, guy that have sex before aren't always bad. (I know because my man's amazing and his ex, is having a baby thats his, (it wasn't his fault) but he's an awesome guy)Sometimes you have to wait, because the perfect guys hasn't come along. Try getting out more, and meeting new ppl, and not just hanging with the girls all the time because thats a warning sign for most guys. Try getting out to meet people on your own. As for older men, stay away from them, they tend to cause troble. Sry this is so long. Anyway, the right guy WILL come along if you put yourself out there a lttle more.
Sry I couldn't be more of a help, Jack
]
my school is the same way. you only like the older guys because the guys your age are so immature and they're jerks. i've only had one boyfriend and he denies that we ever went out. i don't think i'm ever going to find someone that i really like until i am in my twenties and can meet other hot guys who are in their 20's. sometimes i wonder if guys are saying the same things about us(girls). that we're immature and all we want is sex. all we really want is someone to say i love you and mean it.
modelkate11
]
More Questions: |