this last month.. ive been aggrivating myself so much.. & my boyfriend has noticed it too;; and he tries to help but iuno.. he just makes me forget for a little while but then when we arent talking stuff comes back again.. i got this letter from my so-called "father" and ever since i got it it's been under my skin. i never wrote him back.. ive written about 100 letters to him and my brothers and havnt sent them.. never get the nerve..he said that was going to be his last time to try and tlak to me and if i didnt answer then it was going to be my turn to try basically..and then my mom started talking to yet another guy--- who lives in penn. where my "father" lives and now all of a sudden after 16 years "hey ash, lets go meet bill" (my father) im like wtf?! pisses me off a little.. and so now; she's making me meet him in the next 2- 3 weeks.. dont get me wrong, i want to meet him.. more then most i want to meet my brothers but.. for some reason id rather wait til i have my own money, car & can decide when and where for certain things ya know? plus.. all my mom does is shyt talk him when i do ask about him "white trailor trash" ;; "smokes & drinks all day.. has no job & no money"
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