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Help With Boyfriend
I'm a 20 year old college Junior who is frustrated with her boyfriend. We've been together for a little over three months and he won't ever do more then a quick kiss on the lips. It's not like I want to have sex or anything but I don't know what to do, I am so frustrated. I've tried talking to him but all he says is that he doesn't want to do anything he'll regret. It is gotten to the point that he is so afraid of being alone with me that he refuses to come over to my house. I know he's really religious but at the same time it's really driving me insane.
Please help.
Erin
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Sounds like you and your boyfriend are on different pages when it comes to the physical aspects of your relationships, eh Erin? It also sounds like the two of you are long overdue for a real conversation on this topic. And by a real conversation, I do not mean that you need to come in swinging low punches or that you need to let yourself be walked on. Good relationships are all about compromise.
If he says that he does not want to do something that he will regret, ask him, specifically, what he will regret. If he cannot give you a definite answer, then you need to sit down together and figure out where your boundaries are. If his religion is the driving factor, you need to make sure that you are both on the same page about that as well. In addition, you need to assert yourself, and make sure that he fully understands your perspective. Physical aspects of relationships are very personal decisions, and something that the two of you have to come to a consensus over. On the one hand, you shouldn't pressure him into a situation that he is uncomfortable with, but on the other he should also have your best interests in mind. I can't tell you what the right decision for the two of you is, you have to find that out together.
A compromise I reccommend about his reluctance to come over to your house is to stay in neutral rooms (ie, out of your bedroom) plan an activity ahead of time and stick to it. That way you won't be tempted into anything you didn't already plan and you can both enjoy each other's company.
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