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i have a trusting problem
okay well im a freshman and i have a boyfriend (a junior) who used to smoke and party all the time. And i kno he likes to drink but i told him if he ever went back to smoking or got drunk that i would leave him with no questions asked. And i have this trusting problem... i dunno it's just realy hard for me to belive people. Like i always think their lieing to me or will eventually. I have my reasons why (family issues id rather not discuss. And he swears on his life that he won't get drunk ever again. But what if hes lieing to me and has been lately?? But i kno he loves me alot and wouldn't do anything that wouldn't make me happy. But i still have my doubts. Do you think he still drinks? And any ideas on how to help with this trusting thing? Any advice at all in general id be willing to take! thanks so much i love you!
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It seems like he's not lying to you and if he says he loves you a lot then give him a chance. Sometimes it's hard to trust people when other people have let you down but try the best you can. And I wouldn't worry about it because usually when someone has been drinking or smoking you can smell it. Hope this helps <3
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i've answered questions with this quote before and i'll use it again. "Innocent until proven guilty." You have no proof that he is drinking again and i'm not talking about "you heard it from someone at school" i'm talking about actually catching him in the act. You HAVE to HAVE to HAVE TO trust your boyfriend or you could have some totally serious issues. If he was willing to change who he was for you, it's obvious he cares about you very much and you need to put faith towards that. If you don't your relationship could end quite quickly and i am very very serious.
about the putting faith towards his love and trusting him thing..i don't know what you can do. You have to do something, whether it's therapy, or whatever. I do know that you have to be able to trust yourself so just be careful. If you are suspicious of your boyfriend or anyone for that matter keep it to yourself. do not tell anyone and do not do anything to prove yourself right. if something really is up you will find out in time when you are supposed to find out. eventually each time you are proven wrong you will learn when and when not to trust your "instincts" on this. i hope i helped and please...be careful. Your relationship and maybe friendships are at stake here. good luck.
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I don't think he drinks. If he said he wouldn't, then he probably won't. Most people are true to thier word... and if he really loves you as you said, then he won't drink. But if you're really unsure about it, ask him. Or ask around... but if he finds out about that, he might get mad...
I don't think anyone can really help you with the trust thing, you just have to push it to the back of your mind, and try to have faith in him... I mean, it doesn't sound like he's let you down before, otherwise you guys wouldn't be together now. Counseling might help too... weird as that sounds. But I know that some of my friends go to therapy for trust issues, and it's helped them...
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