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Friendship or more?
I am female and I have a few best friends, one of them happens to be male. Last Summer, we both had strong feelings for each other but it never really worked out because I had a boyfriend and there were other complications.
We are very close, we do act like we are a couple and everyone says so. We hug, hold hands etc etc (we don't kiss). He has had a crush on me on and off since Summer and I am confused how I feel. A few days ago I thought I 'liked' him, I told him and we got together. I was really unsure about it and the first time I saw him after we started going out, it didn't feel right. I felt really uncomfortable and we both knew it wasn't going to work so we broke up.
I know he still 'likes' me but I'm so confused about how I feel. I love him because he's my best friend but I don't know if there is anything more. We already act like we are dating and people ask us if we are all the time, the people who know we aren't always tell us to.
I kind of know it's wrong to do all the physical stuff with him when we aren't a couple but I do really enjoy his company. I don't know what to do, I really like him but I'm unsure as to what way. I can't work out my feelings for him, what should I do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Well, I honestly think it's only wrong if you're stringing him along, he's stringing you along, or one of you is attached to someone else. Otherwise, you're just having trouble deciding.
Now, usually I say "once you break up, you shouldn't turn back," but this situation seems a bit different. You tried going out, but it didn't work because you felt uncomfortable.
What made you feel uncomfortable?
I think that's the first thing you need to figure out. Was it a legitimate reason - is he more like a brother to you than boyfriend material? Were you just worried about destroying the friendship?
I find the fact that you don't kiss very interesting. Try to see if you can picture yourself kissing him, and how you feel about it.
I had a situation remotely like this in the sense that I thought I was developing a crush on one of my guyfriends, and I had a boyfriend. I knew I didn't really have a crush when I couldn't imagine really kissing him, and when I ran into my boyfriend's arms at the end of a performance (I'm a singer).
Anyway, as weird as this sounds, if you're into this stuff, meditate on it. Focus on it while you're meditating and see if you can figure out what's going on. Or, freewrite for like ten minutes straight - type, don't write - and focus on that subject. See if you can figure out what's going through your head.
Also, have you talked to him about it? He might be able to help you clear up some feelings and thoughts. The source of the problem is very often also the source of the solution. Give it a shot. You never know what might happen.
I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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