Ok, I saw that you've given a lot of advice on this subject so I'm hoping that you can help me.
I used to live with my dad (my parents are divorced) I was with him from age 6 until I was 9 all those three years he would moleste me, rape me, and beat me. I didn't really understand what was happening because I was so young. Well one day my teacher noticed that I couldn't really move because I was in so much pain. They asked me some questions but I was afraid to tell them because I didn't want to get hit again. They knew something was going on and they sent me to go live with my mom. I live with my mom for 4 years and it was exactly the same as living with my dad except this time it was her boyfriends who would rape me and she would just beat me. I started doing drugs when I was 11 and I thought it was the greatest thing in the world. It kept me out of my mom's house and with my friends and I actually felt like I belonged. When I was 13 I ran away from home and things got really bad I got really deep into drugs and I ended somwhere where I had to do things that I regret doing in order to get a fix. I hate the person that I was and I've been trying to straighten out with the help of my friend. Things were going pretty good for a couple months but then social services found out about what was going on and sent me here. I've been to 7 different foster homes in 6 different states and evertime either my foster "brother" or "father" beat me or rape me or both. I'm in one of those places again and I don't know what to do anymore I've been trying soo hard to make things work. I really have.
My question is do you have any idea why this always happens to me? I feel like it's my fault, is it my fault? I'm scared to keep moving around each time it gets worse. Is it normal for me to want to do drugse even though I know it's wrong? And is there any thing in the law that will let me go live with my friend or anywhere where i won't have to go through this??
I'm sorry that this is long but I really need help and I don't know what to do anymore. Please help me.
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Families? Michele answered Monday May 2 2005, 10:30 pm: Honey, let me say that I am so sorry for your troubles. I could never, never ever treat one of my children that way. None of this is your fault. And I am not surprised that you do drugs, I know that you do them to mask the pain that you feel every day. Drugs numbs you so you don't have to feel. You have been violated by the two people who are supposed to protect you. They violated your trust, and then violated you. You have done nothing wrong. But you do have to get off drugs. If you keep doing drugs then your parents win. If you never heal and get on with your life, then they win.They would rather you be a loser like they are...because that validates their lifestyle. You have use everything you have inside you to fight being like them, and taking drugs. Because your parents are such lousy parents, the state had to take you away from them, but the state does a horendous job of taking care of children. I'll bet that you have been blamed by some people for what has happened to you. And for that reason, some good people may have doubts about your sincerity. I believe you, I wish I could take you in myself. YOu don't say how old you are now, but I know that you are not of legal age until you are 18. So that means foster homes until then. BUt maybe there is one option. Since you have access to a computer go to www.covenanthouse.org They take in runaways. They are located in all the big cities in the US and Mexico. They don't ask questions. They will help everyone that comes to their door. They help kids all the time. To Get their lives back on track, and stay off drugs and go to school, and get an eduction. and some even go on to college. YOu are a very smart girl, I can tell by your writing. You are smarter than most of the kids on this site who can't even spell and are just worried about someone in school talking behind their back. I know you wish that is all that you had to worry about. You can also call Covenant House 24 hours a day. 1800-999-9999. You can call them 24 hours a day, and that is a toll free number. The website gives a map with all of their locations. Maybe there is one near you. Maybe you can get up enought money for a bus ticket and go to the nearest one. Call them and tell them what you told me and ask for help.
Please don't let these awful things that happened to you ruin your adult life. Get help, stay off drugs, and get an education. You are already a strong person for having survived all of this. You can do this. You have it in you.
Please let me know what happens
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