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seperated couples
Dear advicer,
I'm asking for your opinion? Im a 35yr old male and my wife is 26yr old. My wife and I have been through alot of arguments. One time we went to see a marriage counselor and I promise I would change my attitude. I never did. A year have past now and in March of this year I returned from Iraq. She dicided to leave me and clean up her mind and troubles. She didn't took no pictures of our wedding or marriage life. She left me her weeding ring. She saids she wants to be friends now. We talk on the phone everynow and then. I ask her do you still love me and she doesn't give me a respond. I still love her so much. Is she trying to forget me our marriage or does she need some time to breath?
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I would say that whatever attitude adjustment you didn't make was VERY important to her. Enough so that she doesn't want to deal with it anymore. If you want to try to get her back, first thing you need to do is to work that problem out and let her know you are doing so.
She want's to be friends. That is a good sign. She doesn't respond to I love you's could mean that she is confused about what she feels. Don't ask her that question anymore for a while, no matter how much you want to.
Here is what I want you to try. I want you to first find a counsler or someone to help with your attitude problem. Then, I want you to seriously work on the problem.
Then, you call your wife and you ask her out on a date. A nice dinner somewhere quiet where you can talk. Then take her home (where ever she's staying) No putting the moves on her. talk only.
If you have trouble expressing yourself, try writing it in a letter and give it to her to read later on. I know it will be tough going but I want you to romance her without pressure for more than that for the moment. If she refuses, continue getting help for the problem and ask again after a resonable time. Remember no pressure, no begging. If after getting help and asking her out a few times you get nothing positive from her...then you'll have to move on. I think you may be able to salvage your relationship though with a little effort. Feel free to ask if any questions come up along the way. I wish you the best of luck. :)
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