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What do I do next?
Hi. I need some guy advice. There is this guy I really like, and have liked for quite some time, but I keep getting mixed signals from him. We are both seniors in high school. He is a little on the quiet side, and is really sweet. We have several classes together, and we have slowly become better friends, considering that we never really talked before the beginning of the school year despite having gone to the same high school for 3 years. So, we are friends now, and I am now good friends with his friends, and it seems like they would really like for us to get together, and one is especially encouraging it. He's friendly to me, and mildly flirtatious, but he's not the flirty type and doesn't go around and just flirt with everyone. I took the iniative to tell some people that I liked him, so that it would get back to him. I'm pretty sure he knows now, but I don't know what to do next. We hang out on the weekends alot, because our groups of friends are similar and they always get together. He's kind of shy and isn't the kind of guy who is always asking girls out. I can't even think of who is last girlfriend was, or if he had one. I really think we would make a great couple, and I at least want to give it a chance. I am somewhat shy myself when I am in uncomfortable situations or when I get nervous, but I am finally starting to feel comfortable around him. How do I get him to ask me out, or to be able to tell if he likes me?? Sometimes I think he likes me, and then the rest of the time he just leaves me confused. Please, this isn't just a silly little crush, I need some advice on what to do. Thanks in advance for your advice.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I don't consider flirting to be a sure sign of interest, so don't worry :) A lot of guys flirt just because it's fun, a lot of guys can't, no matter how hard they try. However, there are ways to tell whether or not a guy really likes you, even if his jaw happens to be wired shut...
For example: met a man at a company party. After we were introduced he made sure that he sat next to me and talked to me during the meal. I saw him later at my grandparents' Christmas party. We didn't have the opportunity to talk very often, on account of so many people, but he never seemed to be too far away. Once, I was struggling with an uncooperative trash-can. Despite the fact that he was standing on the other side of the room, and there were other people not too far away, he immediately rushed to my assistance.
In summary: if I guy is interested in you, whether he can flirt or not, he'll make an attempt to get to know you. Even when you are both surrounded by other people, he will be attentive. Does he go out of his way to be helpful?
Sometimes, it's still hard to read between the lines. So, maybe you should give it some time. Observe him. Okay, maybe he doesn't flirt, but what has he been doing that you may not have noticed?
I normally try to discourage my girlfriends from asking guys out. Reason being, I think that when a girl aks a guy out, usually, she often becomes aggressive in his eyes, and thus turns him off. It's a big accomplishment for a guy when he gets the girl he wants, and sometimes, if she initiates something first, he might feel robbed of his accomplishment.
However, if said guy is really shy, a think an exception can be made. If he doesn't ask you out after a little while, and your still suspecting that he's interested, go ahead and make the first move. Just be patient and wait for a moment when you're feeling more confident, and not so nervous :)
I would also like to say that, if you're worried that he knows you like him and hasn't asked you out...Don't be. If a friend told me that so-and-so liked me, I probably wouldn't put much stock in it. Maybe he hasn't either.
Hope it goes well for you ;)
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Try being up front about it to him. Tell him to his face how you feel about him. That way he has to say something back and he can't just pretend to ignore it. If he says he feels the same way, then that's great! But if he says that he doesn't, well at least you tried and you don't have to keep on wondering about how he feels.
♥ Always,
Maria
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