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Should I Change for HIM?
Ok...Here's the story. I have been friends with this guy since the 5th grade.We're both 16 and I have had a crush on him since 5th grade too. Finally, 5 years later,(2 months ago), we went out for a month. I thought "Wow, I can't believe this.It's what I've always wanted." Well it wasn't. He was always around his friends. I mean I don't see ANYTHING wrong with guy time,because I want girl time too. But he was ALWAYS with them. He barely called cause he was always with them. The funny thing was that before we went out we talked every night for like 4 hours! I adored him and I know he adored me. But being alone all the time just wasn't working. So we broke up. We THANKFULLY went back to being best friends again. Well now 2 months later we have a little problem. We went to a party and we kissed...I loved it and I know he did. Then 3 days later I asked if he liked me. His answer was "Yea but I don't see us as anything more than friends right now...but yes I do like you." I was devastated...did I read his signals wrong? Well we had a heart to heart and came to an understanding and hung up the phone with saying we loved each other! The next night we went to a basketball game, then to the pool hall. As he played pool and I sat there watching...our eyes met for the longest time,he smiled at me with the cutest smile, and my heart just melted! "Maybe he really does like me the way I like him!!" I thought. Well when it was time for me to leave he said "Bye I'll call you later" Without anything else...he usually hugs me or kisses me on the cheek!! Once again...a signal misread. My friend Beth, whom was there throughout it all, spoke to him one night about it. He said he didn't want me to like him the way I did because he didn't know what he wanted right now and that he didn't want it to end up like last time and him "hurting me". Problem was...he never hurt me! Now, almost a week later, we have yet to speak to each other. BIG CHARACTER HERE!! Morgan... a girl he is/was in love with has hurt him twice. They didn't even go out...she lead him on and then let him down. He claims he doesn't care anything for her. I believe him...but if I could just find out what it was that he loved about her I would change and just to gain AT LEAST one characteristic he loved about her! I have never been like this...I've always said I would never change for anyone! Especially not for some guy. But for him I will do anything. WHAT DO I DO!! Please don't say "Girl, don't change for anyone" or "Let him come to you"...seriously HELP ME!!
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unfortunatly what i am gonna say is "girl dont change for anyone lol" but like seriously maybe u shuld talk to him and ask him if hes sending signs or what? i mean it sounds like you want to be together but he is unsure. if you r seriously like in love with him dont let him go. if you dont like him liek ALOT just forget about him. ui think he just doesnt wanna hurt you again. maybe u shuld tell hi he never did and just sit down and talk about it. i really really hope this helps!!!!!!
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you really shouldnt change for anyone...if he dont like you then he dont like you and i think you should just get over it (no effense) but theres other guys out there...ive been in this same place before and it really hurt...so i know what you're going through...and someone told me the same thing i just told you...and it really worked...me n him are still friends and i still have feelings for him...but i dont let the feelings control me like i did and how you do...play the field for a while...if it doesnt work out then you know this boy is "the one" and he'll relize the same thing about you sooner or later...but if he doesnt then you know that you will NEVER be more than friends and no matter how hard it will be....you're just gonna have to move on
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it sounds like even thought he says he doesnt like that gurl anymore deep down in side he still does or he's scared that if yall get bak together it will end up being like his an morgan relationship and he doesnt want to hurt you.an dont change for him , its not worth it . and if you were to pick up sum charecteristics that he liked in her it would prolly just make him think of her everytime he was with you. if i was you i would probably just wait a little while . start calling him an talking to him just as friends at first then mabey make a move but dont change for a guy no matter how much he means to you . if youve known him for that long hes going to notice that you changed.
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Ok, I'm sorry I gotta say this, but...DONT CHANGE FOR A GUY! I mean, if you have to change for him to REALLY like you, then hes not really worth it. The perfect guy is a guy that will love your for your perfections, imperfections, and YOU. Not some chick pretending to be something she's not. I mean, I would think that it's common sense or something. Its totally girl code. Soo...my advice to you is to not change for this guy, and at least TRY to move on. Because he isnt worth you if you gotta change your personality even a little bit for him. I hope I helped.
xOo Nikki xO
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anonymous -
Hun, I know you really like this guy, but it's not worth it to change for him. If you want a relationship to happen between you and him, he has to like you FOR YOU. If someone doesn't love you for who you are, flaws and all, and you know you deserve better than that. The only acceptable reason for you to change a part of yourself is FOR YOURSELF, so that it will benefit you, not someone else.
What I'd suggest you do is maybe just sit down and talk with him about this. Tell him how you feel and clarify the "you hurting him" thing. I know this may be the last thing you want to hear right now, but if he decides that he doesn't want a relationship at the moment, as a friend, you should respect his decision. Otherwise, if you end up pursuing a guy that isn't interested, most likely you'll get hurt in the end.
With whatever decision you both agree upon, if you end up singled out, think of it this way, it's fun! You can flirt and mingle without having to worry about a guy back home. Just enjoy your life whether it's with him or not :) Life's too short!
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Hey there.
It's not going to help anything if you change yourself for this guy because it'd just be a lie. If you love him then you don't want to be lying to him, it'll just mess everything up more. It's probably best to take things slow because usually when best friends jump right into dating each other it destroys the friendship, and I'm sure you don't want that. If I were you I'd just give him time to decide what he wants, and you should also value the fact that you have him as a best friend at all. It's obvious that you mean alot to him by how much he is there for you even if he does only love you as a friend. Just give it time and he'll decide what he wants.
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