Question Posted Wednesday February 9 2005, 1:13 pm
I first met my ex boyfriend a few years ago. I absolutely adored him. We dated for a few months, then I found out that he was dating someone else. He broke up with me because he couldn't commit. A year later, we ended up being together again. This time, he tried really hard to make up for what he did the first time. He was nice and sincere. He wanted the relationship to work (I think he finally wanted to settle down and realized that I was a good match for him or something). But then I had doubts. We got along really well but something was missing. I couldn't completely get over what he did to me, and wondered if there was someone more suitable. I then left for graduate school, choosing a school that was far away even though I had the option to go to a school nearby. He was angry about my choice, but was willing to wait for me if I could make a commitment (be engaged etc). I did not feel ready though. We kept in touch a little while, but eventually broke up. He tried to call/email, but I didn't reciprocate. Graduate school was busy, and I was in peace with my decision. Or so I thought. I gave him a call during the holiday season to see how he was doing and found out that he got engaged to another woman and is getting married. He proposed to her after only a few months of dating (we were together back and forth for 4 years). I now realize that I never stopped thinking of him the past year. I am almost 30 and he was the only one that I have truly loved. I am afraid now that I gave up my destiny so foolishly. I am afraid that I will never find someone as compatible as him. What should I do? Do I still have a chance with him? How do I find peace? Thank you very much.
Additional info, added Wednesday February 9 2005, 9:11 pm: Forgot to mention this. I sent him a lengthy email later on detailing my feelings for him. He wrote back and talked about the emotional rollercoaster he went through but also said that his future now was with another woman.. Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? xoxhayley answered Wednesday February 9 2005, 3:17 pm: woah.. really tough question you have.. but i say follow your heart. If you think he is really what you want then think about everything carfully and go and see him and talk to him.. like a long talk about everything. This is really tricky considering he is engajed but if this is what you want then go after it. But on the other hand, there could be someone out there you don't know about and you are hung up on somthing And you could be missing out on a huge oppertunity because of somthing in the past. Learn from your mistakes. But i am sort of going through a little of what you are too. I'm trying to move on because Everyone is telling me to so i'm hanging around with other guys trying not to think about him. But if you think this guy is your everything and your feelings are so strong then i seriously suggest you let him know. Tell him how you felt/feel and take things one step at a time. Good luck hope i helped [ xoxhayley's advice column | Ask xoxhayley A Question ]
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