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with a guys that has a GF and he wants to sleep with me
hey! firstly, i loved your column!
secondly = my problem!
ok, so this is the deal..i met this wonderful guy this summer, but he has a GF. Anyway, we spent 6 weeks together and we made out, held hand and all that (IT WAS WONDERFUL!) please dont tell me what i did was wrong, i know it was but i dont care cuz i love him, i really do. And he's told me that he loves me too. We made a deal yesterday (he's been with his GF for about 2 years, and he says he loves her too) he said, he doesnt want to cheat on her anymore cuz he loves her but if the feeling is right-something could happen between us this summer. And i was like: what do you mean? and he asnwered: well, im gonna have my place all to my self this summer soo..who knows what could happen between us!? ;) anyway, i live in japan and he lives in america so we only see eachother during the summer. Hmm, id ont really know what my question is..im just so cofused..i love him so much, and i miss him..i really dont give a damn about his GF (i know i sound like an evil person, but i really really really love him, i cant help i.)Is there anything i can do to get over him? should i even try to get over him? should i sleep with him? (he's 18 and im 14) what's gonna happen between us? ( sorry, i know you cant answer that question) he's just so amazing i dont know what to do. Alot of guys like me here in japan, but i dont like anyone of them im just soo stuck on joshua.
Help! please?- mariana
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Hey Mariana, I'm glad you like my column, I like your name! Lol. I'm playing someone named Marian in our school's musical! (Music Man, lol)
I never tell anyone anything they did was wrong. That's just wrong. (^_^) Heh...heh...anyway...
Okay, though, here's the thing - a guy who "loves" two girls doesn't know the meaning of the word love (at least not my meaning. I believe "love" indicates that the person you "love" is the one you want to be with for the rest of your life, and would care for no matter what).
As far as getting over him, I would, in your situaion, simply because you are indeed confused, and sleeping with someone at such a young age could really prove to be a mistake. I waited until I found the guy I'm pretty much engaged to to sleep with him, and I don't regret it. Sex with Joshua might sound like a good idea right now, but if you make a mistake (like, if he wants you for the wrong reasons...) and regret it, how would you feel? I don't approve of any guy cheating on his GF, so right from the start, I'm kinda biased against him, honestly. ^^
If you want to get over him, I suggest finding all his bad points and focusing on them. (That's what I did to try to get over a bunch of my crushes)
I do honestly think you should "get over him" but it will be very difficult, if you care about him enough to actually consider sleeping with him.
And more on that, you DO know all the risks that come with that, correct? If he got you pregnant, what would he do? I suggest you be on birth control of some sort before you sleep with anybody. And do keep in mind, though, that you are 14. You are young, you have so many years to have sex.
Granted, this is only my opinion, and the final decision is definitely yours.
Just weigh all your choices first and make the one you think is the best for you, and best for Joshua.
If you wanna chat about this more, feel free to IM me (AIM) SirenCytherea. I hope this helps!
-Siren =)
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Well first off this a really tough situation for you and I'm going to have to be a little blunt truth about it. I want you to think about something. In America it is illegal for people over 18 to date or be sexually active with people under the age of 16 because that is age of consent. Seeings you are still a teenager and this boy has entered his adult years, don't you find it a little odd that he wants to sleep with you? He is much older and says he loves his girlfriend. Does he say he loves you? If not, he probably just wants to sleep with you but we don't know this for sure. I honestly think you should try and get over him. You only see him over the summer, he's in a different country, and he has a girlfriend who he claims to love very much so that shows he's not going to give her up. Perhaps you could try dating some guys that like you where you live for a while. Try it out and see what happens. It's really the best for you to prevent any danger. Try to get over him. Focus your mind on your school work, friends, write poems, write in a journal. Anything to help you get over him. If you really aren't interested in getting over him although that is a good idea, I wouldn't sleep with him. Think about it, you're 14. Are you a virgin? Well anywho, do you really want to have sex with a guy who has a girlfriend that he doesn't want to give up? And personally in my opinion. If he loves his girlfriend so much he wouldn't be wanting to do things with you. That just shows he is a scumbag anyways and he doesn't deserve you. Think about it, if you dated, he might mess with some other girl like he's doing to his girlfriend. I hope I've been of some help, think about all of that for me. :)
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