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I used to go out with this guy, Tom, who I had liked for a long time. We only went out for a day because I also liked his best friend and I realised I liked his friend more. I have been dating his friend, Jon, now for 4 months and I like him alot. Tom is still my best friend, I totally trust him and I really like him, but I don't feel attracted to him. Today, Tom told me that he fancied me and he asked me out. I turned him down and told him that I loved Jon and that I didn't fancy Tom. Now I feel really bad. I don't want to be with Tom and I'm in love with Jon but I don't want to hurt Tom. I don't know what to do. I don't want it to cause trouble between Jon and Tom, I don't want to put their friendship in jepardy. What should I do?
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Well, you are in a bit of a sticky situation but i think i will be able to help you out. I think the best thing to do in this case would be to just stress the importance of friendship to Tom. Explain to him that while you love all his attributes and other characteristics you aren't interested in him in that manner especiallly enough to posdsibly risk losing a friendship you cherish. Explain to him that while Jon is your boyfriend, Tom IS and will ALWAYS be your best friend;your confidant. Stress that nothing will change that or take his place in your heart. He sounds like a nice guy so I am sure he will understand. True friends and people who really care about you want you to be happy, even if they don't get what they want. I understand why you would feel bad about this whole situation, but don't. It's not your fault. Just the cards you were delt. You handed everything really respectably and maturly. Maybe set aside some time for you and Tom to hang out with one another..go play some mini golf!! That would be a hoot. Just enjoy y'alls friendship. Also, when you talk to Tom about all this tell Jon you are telling him all this and express to them both that you care too much to ever hurt either one of them, and that's never your intention. Just speak to them from your heart. Good luck. :)
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