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UPDATE*** Confused? Am I Moving Too Fast.
[OK HERE IS AGAIN ANOTHER LONG MESSAGE, BUT I WRITE LIKE THIS BECAUSE I AM JUST LIKE THIS, ITS HOW I DESCRIBE THE SCENE EXACTLY AND HOW I CAN BEST HELP MAKE YOU UNDERSTAND]
Well, I decided to go out on Saturday Night, even after I thought that it would be better if I cooled it for a while.
My friends say that I should say bye to the prick, because he is playing with my mind. And in some respects, I agree, but why cant I. I dont love him, so why cant I just say Enough is Enough, see you mate!
I went out with my friends, the time was 11pm. We walked up the stairs in the club, and guess who looked over as I walked up them. Yours Truly.
He basically ran away when I got to the club, so I ignored him as my friends told me to.
I was having a great night, until one of my friends wispered in my ear and said that he is watching you all the time. I was like, why, what is it this time. And he said to me, I think he is Jelous that you are having fun, talking to heaps of people, and he is just here with his mate Terry, Not talking to people, not knowing anyone else. So I said do you wanna go somewhere else. So we headed off to another bar for 35 minutes to meet up with friends. This place was quite a bit more cooler, because there were more people I was getting introduced to from friends, and when you speak to these people, they genuinely show interest in what you have to say, and vice versa.
1am came around, and we went back to the place we started. He was there still, but still looking over. I looked but was more like who gives a shit in my body language.
You see, if we are to be friends. why isnt he acting like a friend. may be he doesnt want a friendship at all.
My friends and I gradually worked out way across the room, and moved to talk to others. But where ever I seemed to go, he would slowly work his way over there with me. Still not talking to me, but like following me. His friend also walked over. I was standing talking to people and suddenly there was a tap on my shoulder. He said Hi again. And i was like Hi. I so wanted to grab him and say, what the hell do you want with me, but I didnt, so I turned my head and continued to talk with my friends.
He then said goodbye, and I will see you at the concert. I was like yes. see you there.
I stayed at the club, talking to his mate. for a good 1 hour, on and off, while playing a game of pool with others.
He said, where you ignoring us tonight, and I was like no, I was just with friends, and talking to them. Saying hello didnt cross my mind right away.
He was like cool, ok.
I spoke about the concert. and said I would bring one of my friends along, and he was like cool. fine.
Sunday came, and I messaged ryan and said, hey, do you want to go for a walk on the beach today, friends only promise.
and he was like, sorry i cant i am too busy today, im going christmas shopping with terry, and I have a christmas party for work to attend.
I messaged him back saying. All good, I will see you at the concert.
Later in the day, Terry messaged me and said, 30% is off clothes today, where they were shopping, but I was like no thanks, been there, thanks for the offer, but they have nothing I like. He was ok and said, no worries.
I went shopping for some clothes, and purchased something really nice for the concert. I then messaged Terry and said, hey I got some nice stuff. and he was like ha ha we are still at the other place. I then said, I have your ticket Money, do you want me to meet you there, and I will give it to you. he was like ok.
I walked into the shop, and Ryan and Terry were sitting at the perfume counter testing and buying presents. He didnt even say hello, so I knew when im not wanted.Terry said, hi. I gave him his money, and chatted briefly. Ryan still hardly said a word. I was wondering what the hell is going on. So i said, well im off. Terry said, why do you always run away fast. I was like, cos im off to go get dinner ready. He was like, want to join us for dinner, and I was like, not really, I know when im not wanted, and he said, what! I said, look I dont want to push the friendship any further. Remember, I move to fast, or have you forgotton. and he was like, join us. Ryan is it ok. and he was like, yeah, who cares kind of attitude.
I drove to the place. we sat outside, and all he did was look at other girls walking by, going toot toot. Then he would look at me when he had done it. I was thinking to myself what the hell is going on here. I didnt eat, cos I had already spent too much money on my outfit, but I did drink lots of water, and talk while they were eating. It was so silent most of the time, because nothing was said. So i sparked conversations like, do you like sour cream terry. stuff like that, but it only lasted so long. He still didnt speak much.
I then asked about the concert, and if they would like to meet before for dinner. and Terry was like ok. Ryan was like fine. And I said, you know what would be really nice, Curry. Are there any great curry places. And Terry said a few. but Ryan said, im not a fan of curry. So i said, fine, lets pick somewhere else, and Terry said, Ryan, dont worry, there are plenty of other meals to choose at a curry place. That way everyone gets what they want. But I said, either way, lets pick a place nice. I walked to finish the night, and said Message me to let me know what you are doing.
Ok fine. Terry said. Ryan, message me tomorrow, would you like to do lunch, and he was like fine.
I have a few things to do, but fine.
Well message me anyway, whatever you decide.
I walked away, got in my car and drove home.
Monday morning, I get called into work earlier than usual, and realize I wont be able to have lunch because of the work load I have to do before the concert. I message him and say, sorry but I have to cancel. He doesnt message me back. So i think, hes got the message, but cool no worries.
All is fine, and I message Terry to say. Is Curry hot or not.
And he messaged me back and says no. Ryan doesnt want to go.
I drop into his shop on my lunch break, and talk briefly, and say, do you want to still pick a place for dinner, and he was no, i cant make it, well do you want to do drinks before the concert and he said yeah, 6:30pm. meet me out the front of the shop.
I head back to work, switch off my phone, and concerntrate. I need to finish my work, by 5:30 to get home, shower, and get ready. Well what do you know, I dont leave until 6:15pm. I ring terry and say, sorry I cant make it for drinks, I will give you a call before I get back into town, I am off home to get ready. He is fine ok.
I get back into town around 6:50pm. They are at inbox cafe. talking with my mate that I invited. and I sit down, grab a drink, and talk.
Hi terry, Hi Ryan. Hey matt.
Man im so excited about tonight, i cant wait until I meet her. See her. Hear her. This is going to be awesome. I brought along my 6 cd covers to get them signed.
Cut a long story short. we arrive at the venue. He is sitting on one side of terry, me on the other. I was like, ok. I am here with my friend. Everything is a.o.k. I grab a banana from the shop on the way, but when i get out, I notice them halfway closer to the venue. so I try and catch up and wonder why didnt they wait. I get up to them, and terry yells out to me, ok I want to see how far you can go down on this banana. Suck it, all.
I was like, no. but laughed shy. Ryan didnt say anything. This terry fella was obviously joking, so I thought nothing more of the comment.
We got to the doors of the venue, and I was like, YEAH TINA ARENA. WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO! REAL LOUD.
I was so excited. I honestly was so excited.
we met some of terrys friends while waiting to go in. I started to ask people who had ear pieces in, do you know Tina. Do you know Tina, what are my chances to get these signed.
And they werent looking good at present.
We went in, had a ball, I sang and danced and Tina on stage said, why cant everyone dance like me.
Not many people wanted to get up and have fun.
It was so weird.
Ryan keep wispering in Terrys ear.
By the way, I started introducing myself to all other Tina fans. Talking to them during intermission.
I talked to my friend, but it still felt weird. like he was ignoring me. or trying to act cooler than me. something was definatly up.
But i dont know if this is me again the analytical. Reading too much into it.
The concert is over. I get my cds signed. and we head off for a drink.
Ryan is sitting to his back slightly to me, and doesnt talk at all to me. doesnt talk much at all.
I was like. Thank you so much for inviting me. It was so awesome. I had the best time. It was the best.
Wooooo hoooo, i cant believe I got my cds signed.
Im so excited. What a night.
Terry was like, yeah, it could have been better.
I was like, god, i loved it, I got up and danced. it was awesome. You should have danced all of you.
You only live once.
I really enjoyed myself.
I was like so does anyone want to get a piece of pizza. and ryan said, he is going to go home. so did my friend matt. Terry and I went and got a piece each. We chatted, but then i said, can i be honest with you, and he said sure. I am confused, I am kind of pissed at ryan, and he said, why.
Well, he wants no relationship, ok, fine, done, but he said he wants a friendship, but one, he didnt talk to me all night, and 2, he turned his back to me after the concert. 3 he said to you, and i heard him, make sure i dont sit next to...you sit between me and so so.
Terry then said, i thought you were over him. Well, i was, but i still feel something for him. I cant explain it to him, but it feels weird again. but with him ignoring me, what do i do.
he said, he ignored all of us quite a bit. thats just him. Thats ryan. Ok. so then what is it that he wants. A friendship, because i want to invite him over for dinner, i want to go out for dinner, may be a movie, or go to the beach. but i am too scared to ask him because i might be moving too fast again. what do i do.
he said, i think that you are so obsessed with him, and its weird. I said. what, and he said, well i think that the reason why you have this profound attraction to him, is because he is unobtainable, he is off the list of guys. he is unreachable. and you are more and more obsessed with this.
I said, what! He tells me he wants to be friends, i am just reciprecating his wishs. but i am slowly thinking this is a waste of time.
Terry said that can i be honest. I think you need to have sex a little more. casual fun, sleep around, experience.
I was like, where did that come from. and why do i have to do that.
he said, well i think you need to get ryan off you mind. i mean you love him. right?
no. who said anything about love. I feel a strong connection between him and i. its so powerful.
Its just again the fact that he is unobtainable. Out of reach.
No its not. Im not obsessed with him, even though it seems like it. I want something, and ryan hasnt been 100% clear again.
Terry said, you need to know something, most guys are going to say anything they like, to get you into bed.
I said. ok, so ryan layed on my lap, stroking my legs, what just to root me. to have sex.
No.
Well then what was it.
Thats just the way ryan does things, hes a touchy person.
So that feeling of warmth i felt was just nothing.
I think you need to play the field a bit,
I have done that terry, finished with it also.
I want something a little more meaningful.
Deeper,
more passion.
I want someone who i can cook for, we can hold hands, and watch each other and make each other smile. to have fun. to run and play.
basically not just sex, and thanks. see you later.
well, i think you are too deep for men. you wont find anyone who will return this behavior.
Well, it makes me sad.
and the night is over and i go home.
What is going on.
Say goodbye. and never talk to either of them again. because terry is making me confused again.
or just say hi when i see them, and thats it. thats all.
dont message them again. NEVER.
just ignore them.
cut it off.
say goodbye,
Why cant i! why do i still want to grab him and kiss him.
this is terring me apart.
it is the fact that I cant get him, thats driving me crazy and not making it easy for me to say its over.
i am a scorpio, where we usually put out our tails and sting when we are hurt. so why havent i done this to Ryan.
"Terry, if I am too deep, why did ryan share so much about his past and his childhood, and beg me to tell him"
"Well i guess its usually to get into your pants"
what kind of comment is that. if not a joke. and no laughing after.
i just dont know anymore.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
A few things:
1) You need to take a break from these guys. Say hi by all means, but leave it at that. Ryan can't give you what you need as a boyfriend, and trying to be friends with him and Terry is just hurting you at the moment. It's hard, but it takes time to get over him, and if you attempt to force a friendship when neither of you appear to be ready, you'll end up just hurting more.
2) Ignore Terry's comments. If you think you had something deeper with Ryan, then I'm sure you did. Don't let somebody who wasn't involved tell you they know more about what happened then you do.
3) Try not to think about him so much. Obsessing about every little detail of the evening (as this question suggests you are doing...) isn't healthy and won't give you peace of mind. Just make a decesion to distance yourself from them until you are ready to be friends without feeling the way you do at the moment, and then leave it - concentrate on going out with other friends and having fun by yourself and with them, and you'll begin to move on.
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