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Confused..
HI,
I have a situation. I have been involved with this guy for close to a month.. We talk on the phone alot, and just recently we met up.. I met him through some desi personal site. Things were going great until after we met up.. I don't hear as much from him, I dont even get a comment regarding our meeting and when he does call he acts strange towards me. I have asked him whats going on... and he tells me nothing. then later on I ask him to be straight up with me.. and he tells me that he likes me alot... but he doesnt know if he can eventually marry me in the end.. You see he is Hindu Bengali and Hindu Punjabi. He says that he has hurt his family before with a previous relationship that lasted 7 years and he doesn't want to hurt them again. But he also says that he wants to continue this relationship regardless if it happens so that he cannot marry me.. What do I do? All my life I have been in relationships where guys have said the exact same thing to m e.. and I've continued with the relationship.. just because for me its hard to find someone that actually likes me. Should I continue this relationship with him? or let him go.. I am so confused and frustrated...
Help Pls
-ss
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Confused? All you need to do is look within yourself!
Firstly, what do YOU want out of a relationship. Go on... ask yourself. And make a list, even if it means writing it down.
Then check your list. Can this man give you what you want out of a relationship? From what you have said it doesn't sound like it.
You want more than he can give you. You want to get married, right? So you should consider whether you really want to waste your time with someone like this.
If all you want is a casual relationship, or even just a friendship, then continue seeing him. But you said you like him very much? Break ties now, while it is still just like and not love. Besides, he has enough issues of his own which he needs to deal with. When he is ready to commit to someone he will.
Secondly, you souldn't be looking for someone that likes you. This is probably why you have continued in relationships, which have not ended the way you planned.
Love just happens. You can't go out looking for it, nor can you sit waiting for it to happen. You need to carry on with YOUR life. Find a hobby, get a penpal and make new friends. You first need to be happy on your own, and happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. And don't despair, some of the most beautiful romances have blossomed from friendships.
Darling, as the old saying goes...if you love someone set them free, if he come back it was meant to be, and if he doesn't it was never meant to be.
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I think that you should keep going with the relationship because you said that you like him and he said he likes you. The whole thing with his family he is obviously willing to go against if he still wants to continue seeing you. If you don't feel like the relationship is going to go far then you might want to get out of it for yourself. I know you mean by its hard to find someone who likes you. I just found mine but he has a girlfriend so0o. But I think you should sit down and talk to him and tell him what you really feel and what you really want...then ask him what he feels and what he wants. -Sorry if this didn't help..i tried- Kristen
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