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love/friendship confusion
I am a 23 year old female who has been friends with another 23 year old female for 10 years. We have always been very close and we have also been intimate in the past WITH my boyfriends consent. Now she has been going out with my boyfriends brother for a year and a half and now lives with him. I really miss being able to get drunk with her and kiss her and being intimate without any worries and now we can't. My boyfriend could care less if we were like that again because he understands my sexuality, but his brother is completely jealous of us even being in the same room together. It sucks. I wish I could get over it but I can't and I can't get her out of my head, I miss having that close friendship, I could never have that again because no one knows me like she does. Sometimes I think she sends me signs that she misses me like that too, but I am so confused about this! I don't really know what my question is except dizzy wonder on how she is feeling (I don't want to ask her and confuse her too if she ISN'T confused). Maybe I am wondering if I should force these thoughts away and tear them from myself like a limb from my body, keep this as a haunting secert that burdens me every day, or keep hoping something will change. Thank You to anyone who is able to answer this confusing question.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
There are two answers to your question:
First, you obviously have feelings for her. Did you ever think about pursuing a relationship with her?
The second answer is that when you do want to commit, you run into her arms as a way of nurturing your insecurity and necessity for reassurance. You've made a routine out of it and this pattern will more than likely destroy your future relationships.
If you want my advice, talk to her. Be open. Don't keep secrets. Explain to her your situation, but I only suggest doing this if you know EXACTLY what you want. Don't string her along for a meaningless ride, unless that is what you want. If so, be up-front about that as well.
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i dont know if this will really help bbut ill try. so here it goes...
Maybe try looking past the fact that it is your boyfriends brother, as much as you hate him for this, and see if she is really happy with him. Talk to her and tell her how much you miss her. If she is happy with him then you should be happy for her. Dont try and ruin her relationship with him.. Just continue to be her friend. And if you both still feel the same way about each other and miss being together with each other then you two make plans one day to get together. Have her tell her boyfriend that she is going out for a little while, on errands or something but really is going over to see you. her boyfriend might think it is a little weird to be doing something with the both of you because of you and his brother being so close(if you are). or even if his brother is doing something with his girlfriend. But if it were just you two i dont see why he would really have a problem with it. Most guys, I would think, would like to have two chicks doing stuff together. But also maybe try talking to him, your boyfriends brother, and see what it is exactly that he doesnt like about the two of you being together. Well, I hope this helps you. Sorry i ouldnt be of any more help. Good luck!
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it is understandable if her boyfriend dont want yall to be together i htink u should deff. talk to the girl and tell her how u feel. u cant change her boyfriends feelings he doesnt want yall to be together then theres just nothing u can do. all i can say is that u talk to the girl maybe call her or something and tell her u miss her adn u think its messed ujp that yall cant be firends anymrore. im sorry i couldnt help too much i justs dont know wht its lsike to be intimate with somone of the same sex and i dont think i ever will but good luck and i hope evrything works out!
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