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re to what is going on
ok, first my bf is not disabled to the point he cant care for himself.he is just unable to drive. and his biploar is very much so predictable, so i know when this is coming. now about his dog, i feel he has a sick relationship with his dog. i have seen him touch that female dog in places that are improper. he denies this with immedeiate anger! and a good example of him not caring about my feelings is, just last night. I will drop everything for him. even to satisfy him sexually. (he likes oral sex more then anything) he always promisses to take care of me later. but later never seems to come. he knows without a doubt what this does to me, but he isnt willing to do anything aabout it to change. and with his affection for his dog, just where does this leave me and my needs? why cant he show me the same attention he does to his dog? and I dont mean the baby talk and all that bs, I just mean that he pays attention to her needs and takes care of them. how can I make him understand that?
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Okay... well first, let me say that I'm sorry that I misunderstood the information from your first question. The dog situation, as you have now described it, is a bit worrisome to me.
If your boyfriend is physically molesting the dog (which is what you are implying), such behavior is inhumane and, in fact, criminal. If you are honestly stating that this man is "taking care of" the dog sexually instead of taking care of you sexually, then I don't see why there would be any confusion about what you should do. Get out of this relationship. But, I truly hope that I am misunderstanding you again.
However, even if there is no inappropriate physical relationship with the dog (which I am now responding as if there is not), you should not be competing for love and affection with an animal. If you honestly feel that he cares for the dog more than for you, and if this man is not taking care of your needs physically or emotionally, why do you stay?
If you have told him how you feel and he refuses to change then I don't really think there is anything that can "make him understand" as you put it. To be honest, if your boyfriend doesn't already innately understand some of this very basic relationship stuff, then I'm not sure that he will ever change his ways.
If you haven't already tried this, perhaps you could ask your boyfriend to imagine himself in your shoes. Really and truly, how would be feel if the situation was reversed and instead of dropping everything to please him sexually, you were playing with the dog and ignoring him instead? Maybe hearing how ridiculous some of his behavior is in a real life scenario will help him to see this from your perspective.
You have the power over your own actions and decicions. You need to decide what you can put up with and what you will not put up with. Communicate to your boyfriend the behavior that you will not tolerate and if it continues then you have the power to walk away. Ultimately, if he refuses to change and you stay with him, then you are just as responsible for your unhappniess as he is. I'm sorry that my advice is not more hopeful, but if you are not getting what you need and deserve from a relationship, why torture yourself?
Kind wishes,
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