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Should I keep trying?
Hey Mandee. I need some advice and you seem like you like helping people out so here i go:
I'm a sophomore and ever since last year, I have liked this guy in my high school and he has liked me back. However, this guy is a player. He goes out with many girls at the same time. He gets over all of them, yet he's never been able to get over me. He always asks me out and I always refuse him. Who would want to go out with a player and get hurt? He promises me that he'll change. Sadly, I caught him making out with another girl the day after. I was devastated. I sent him a letter that told him how I felt. In it I told him how stupid I felt for liking and caring so much about him for such a long time. I also told him I was sick of lies and false promises. I ended it by saying "don't write back or talk to me anymore...leave me alone, you've hurt me enough." I should feel better now that it's over, but I don't. The thought that he'll never talk to me again makes me sad. Even though he's broken my heart and played me from the very start, I can't help but keep liking him. Should I talk to him again? Should I keep trying to make "us" work out? Please let me know your honest answer.
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Aww thanks so much babe! You seem like such a sweetheart, and it's up to you to decide what you wanna do. But that doesn't mean I can't give you my opinions or ideas! :) And yeah, I LOVE helping people out!
You can't change a person, he will do what he wants and become what he wants to be. I've learned this before. And actually marriage wise some people who have be in divorces before have said that they married the person even with one of their most bad habits. ( For example being abusive or an alcholic) and the reason they dirvorced was because they thought he/she would change and they never did. I know that it's great to believe in someone and make them feel like they can do it, but they have to be serious about it and be willing to do it. Writing a letter helps, you can write down your thoughts and tell him how you feel, and it's easy because you don't have to say it to his face. However, I would try talking to him once more. Face to face and tell him " Look, I really care about you, and I know I said I didn't, but part of me still does. I still have feelings for you, and I want you to consider...what you would do for me. Would you give up every girl and just have me to yourself? And would you give up your reputation as being a player?" Make sure you guys are alone. That way he won't be distracted by other things and he won't be able to get out of it. Just be upfront with him. If he says he will, then you can't really tell if he means that. But you can just let him know he will have to earn your trust before you go out. If he says no, then he really doesn't care enough about you to change himself. And to make a relationship work both of you need to care enough about each other that you'd do anything for that person. And sweetie, you really deserve better than that. You should have a guy full of attention just on you and no one else. If he won't do this for you, try and get over him. I know that will be very, very hard for you do (you liked him for a long time) but only hoping for something that will never work will only hurt you. And you don't want to get hurt again. If he won't make an effort to make things work out, why should you? I'm sure you'll find other guys who will love you and do anything else for you. But if he's willing to change make sure he has your support. You can try and help him through this. Just make sure he knows where you stand. But most importantly, do something for yourself..think about what qualities you would want in a guy and see if he matches any of them. I think it would be best, if he says "no" to kind of stop talking to him as much as you were. It will only remind you of him. And if he says yes of course you're going to talk to him! Hehe. But over all, I hope things work out for you! You only deserve the best!! Love you! Tell me how things go :) Love Always, Mandee
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