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bf and x bf trouble
ok I like these 2 guys (one my bf and the other not) well my bf (Blake) and
the other guy(Nick) hate each other ok the middle of june I went out w/ blake
and broke up w/ him to go out w/ nick then i broke up w/ nick cuz he was lying
and talkin to his x behind my back, then went back out w/ nick and he broke
up w/ me and asked me back out and I said yes so I
went out w/ nick for the
3rd time and then he broke up w/ me again (he said he was embarressed)
then Blake asked me back out and I'm going out w/ him
and now Nick wants me to break up w/ Blake to go back out w/ him in
secreet and I don;'t wanna keep it a scret but he does and Blake doesn't
know I ever went out w/ nick either but in june they got into a fist fight
@ church and yeah
and I dk what to do should I go BACK out w/ nick or stay w/ blake I'm
bossy to both of them but can't tell them y (I can but don't know how
to say it cuz it's kinda embarressin y I'm mean to them) I trust Nick
more but blake is funnyer and nicer but they both have their tempers
but I dk what to do I wanna tell them y I am so mean so they could jus be paitent
but ok here's what I don't wanna tell them but I think I prolly should I'm always
mean to them but I don't know how to tell them I got told i love u by 2 pple
one guy ment it and the other didn't the one that didn't i loved them back and
the one who loved me I didn't love him. he used to literally kick the crap outta
me b*cuz I couldn't say it back and I know he did love
me cuz that's how he grew up thinking love was his
dad did the same thing to his mom but I always had bruises and everything and
I tryed to stick up for myself but it just got worse so now I'm all like tense that someone
is gonna do it to me again he did that for a year 3 months and 8 days and then the day
he moved (middle of june) he gave me a black eye and a fat lip ( the boy was one of
my recent x's named cody) and now everytime I'm round blake and cody i get all shaky and scared and start to get protective of myself
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Alright, I understand you are worried about which boy to go out with, but the first thing I want to say is that you need to stay away from the boy who hit you. It does not matter that you did not tell him you loved him - no boy has the right to lay any finger on your without your permission. Being with him has done you one favour - you know what it feels like to be scared and helpless. If either Nick, Blake, or any other guy make you feel that way again, you'll know it. Once you realize you are scared or intimidated, get out of that relationship. Immediately.
Now, onto Nick and Blake.
Look at what you said about Nick - you guys have been on again and off again too many times to count. No real relationship can be built if it's constantly ending and starting over; that's just drama and not really caring about another person.
Nick sounds like he isn't sure about his feelings for you, and that's okay. Nobody can always be positive how they feel. But if he wants to keep things secret, or dumps you as soon as you date him, then he's not treating you respectfully. I think you're probably better off moving on, and I would firmly but kindly let Nick know that.
Boys will only treat you like a yo-yo if you let them.
Now, onto Blake. He sounds like a friendly, genuine guy. If you like him, I say keep seeing him. If you aren't sure if you like him, or think about Nick more often than you think about Blake, it might be best to move on from him, too.
I'm not telling you this to make you end your dating life, but to make it better. You sound like a caring, confused person - and all people deserve to be with someone who makes them feel safe, confident, and cared about. In order to take care of yourself, you need to stay away from people who hit you. That will keep you safe physically. Your emotions are important, too, though, and when you get hit it can change how you feel about yourself.
I wouldn't feel too guilty about being mean - I think it's just because you are afraid. The way to handle this is to trust your instincts. If a boy treats you disrespectfully or threatens you, get out of that relationship. If a guy is nice and caring, and you still feel shaky and mean, then the best thing to do would be to explain WHY you feel that way.
It will be hard, but once Blake (or another guy) understands you better, he'll be more sensitive to your moods. Open communication is SO important in a relationship. You just have to be brave enough to stick up for yourself and your emotions.
And you know what? I really think you can do it.
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