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LEft IN the Dust


Question Posted Tuesday August 10 2004, 11:32 pm

HEy. I always feel like my friends are leaving me out. They don't invite me to go places with them and when we talk it seems like they have jokes I dont know about or that the jokes are on me. I feel picked on and defenseless. How can i tell them without loosing them?

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XxMissKnowItAllxX answered Tuesday August 10 2004, 11:39 pm:
***Liz***-
Well, I think that before you jump to the conclusion that they are ditching you, you need to analyze the situation. Have you been paying attention to them? Sometimes people get so wrapped up in things like boyfriends, sports, and possibly moping that they forget their friends. If thats the case, you should sit down and talk to your friends and tell them how you feel about the current situation.
If thats NOT the case and they are indeed just leaving you out, it may just be that they want some time with eachother, but its still not fair to you. Tell them that you feel left out, and that you understand you dont have to do everything together but you'd like to hang out more. In the meanwhile, maybe you should call up some of your friends that you dont usually hang with and make some plans. Who knows? You may have a blast!

***Marie***-
Like Liz said, you should call up some other friends while you sort things out with this bunch. I don't think they're neglecting you or picking on you on purpose or to make you feel bad. You should try to talk to them about it, but if you feel nervous about being ganged up on talk one on one. Tell each person how you feel, but try to avoid saying things like, "YOU leave me out." and "YOU make fun of me." Lean more towards, 'It feels like I've been left out of our plans lately, and that I'm getting picked on. I know you don't do it to hurt me, but that's exactly what it does. Hurt me." If they shoot you down cold... give them some time to come around, but don't let them off the hook completely, the next time they make fun of you, stand up for yourself, but don't insult the person. And start hanging with those other friends you called! :)

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