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I was dating this guy for two years. Last year we broke up because I wasn't treating him the way we deserved to be treated and he cheated on me. We got back together a few months later and things were better than ever. We would constantly talk about marriage and we loved each other very much. Well this spring someone he was extremely close to passed away. He told me not to come to the wake, and he wouldn't talk to me. I told him I'd give him all the time he needed to heal. He told me he couldn't have a girlfriend at that time and that he was dropping out of all his school activities. Well he didn't end up giving anything up but me. So we broke up, but I still supported him, thinking that all he needed was time and that he would need me. A week later I was on the phone with him and he told me he had a new girlfriend, someone that he had gotten to know the week before the person died. Well now he won't talk to me at all. It's been about 4 months and I think he's still with her. I'm dating someone new, but I really miss him. He was my best friend, and I miss having that person to confide in. I need him more than ever, as I'm starting college in the fall and would like someone that I can talk to. I can't call him because I know he wouldn't answer the phone, and he doesn't have the internet. How do I approach him about becoming friends again and what can I say to convince him? Apparently he somehow got the notion that I didn't care about his loss, which is not true, because the person was a close friend of mine as well. I really don't even understand what happened, but suspect that his close friend who was staying with him at the time had something to do with it.
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That is a really tough situation. First of all, I'm going to start out by apologizing that you lost your best friend in this whole mess of things. That's the part that usually hurts the most in these things. I believe that your ex-boyfriend is probably still uncomfortable to talk to you. Sometimes it is hard to look at someone you once were with and be comfortable around them. He most likely isn't ready to hear your voice or see you, so your only other possible way of contacting him right now is write him a letter. Explain to him how you feel about the things that happened between you and that you never meant to hurt him. Let him know how you feel (without begging for him to become friends again or be with you.) Because this is a decision that he personally needs to make on his own. Inform him about how your life is going right now and about college, etc. If he wants to try and regain that old friendship, he will answer you back somehow... if not.. give it time.
Good luck and keep me posted on how this goes. I hope I helped.
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