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...Sex...lol
Ok like, my boyfriend and I have been having sex for a while now. And I just haven't really been in the mood all that much anymore. I think it's because when ever he sees me he wants to do something sexual, and I don't really want to. So because of that I NEVER want to. And he gets mad and claims that he's forcing me to when he kind of is. It's really rare that I actually want to do something anymore. I would like to just spend some time together for once and not have nice things done for me without being expected for sex in return.
I don't really know what to do. It's really hard to talk to him and I have also been thinking about breaking up with him. I talked to him about taking a "break" but he got really upset and we argued for hours. But now we are still seeing eachother. And I can never talk to him because he won't listen.
He says that we could take a "break" from having sex but when I brought it up again he got mad...again. I'm just really torn and extremely confused. I'm glad I can finally ask help from somebody. Thanks so much.
Sorry it's long.
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Sex is a difficult thing to bring into a relationship, as it requires a new level of commitment that both of you have to adjust to. It can cause a lot of emotional problems, as I'm sure you are experiencing at the moment. The male gender tends to be more 'sexual' so to speak, and less apt to listen to what you have to say when you feel like you don't want sex as often as he does.
As hard as it might be, you need to sit down and have a talk with him, face to face would be best so you can communicate to him your emotions directly, instead of just over the phone or an instant message.
Tell him exactly how you feel ... that maybe you would like to do some things that do not involve sex. You two could get closer and have a better relationship that way - maybe if you just took a leisurely stroll or went for dinner and a movie, and had sex less often. Maybe you could find something that both of you like and could do together. Though there is nothing wrong with a sexual relationship, it never hurt anyone to have more of that good old fashioned 'bonding time.'
Anyway ... about the approach to this proposal. You definitely don't want to end up in another argument with him. As I've said before sex takes a lot of emotional and physical commitment. Set up somewhere you can go with him - somewhere in public, but private enough so that you don't have the fat man at the counter listening to your every word. Face to face expression is very important in a situation like this. Try not to be too harsh; you might think that you aren't, but trust me when I say that male perception is very, very different. Start off with "well I've been thinking lately .." just to make sure that he wants to listen to what you have to say. Then you could follow up with "well as much as I have had sex lately, I just think that there are other things we could do to have fun and bond a bit more." Now I'm not telling you to stop having sex all together - that is entirely your decision. If you still want to continue having sex with this person, you've got to tell him that although you don't mind or even like having sex with him, you just think that maybe you should do it less, to increase the importance of it when you actually do have sex.
I hope that wasn't too long.
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