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boring boyfriend
I’m a senior in aerospace engineering and my boyfriend just graduated then started his masters degree work in ocean engineering. We’ve been dating for almost a year now and I love him... but he’s boring as hell. We spend time together, but we do almost nothing during that time (well, except at night...). It’s hard to get him to participate in intellectual conversation; I much prefer bouncing ideas off of other friends, or even people at Mensa gatherings whom I’ve never before met. It’s nearly impossible to get him to do anything active; I live to swim at the beach, ride my bike, rock climb, etc., but it seems that the most active thing he does is walk to and from campus. When we’re together, we mostly just play cards or watch bad movies.
Also, I’ve been away for most of the summer. I was in China on an engineering tour for a month, then I spent a week at home, and I’ve spent the past couple months in Chicago. The distance has made me more frustrated with him, partially since I can have much better long-distance conversations with other male friends than with him. Also, my time at the Chicago Pride Parade and the Dyke March tested my faithfulness to him (I stayed faithful, but, in the presence of so many beautiful women, I really didn’t want to).
So, in short, he’s boring. I don’t know if I want to stay with the man I love, start looking for a man or woman who can make my life more interesting, or just be single. This might be an age thing (I’m eighteen and he’s twenty-two), so it is possible that I won’t be bored as easily in a few years.
Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
-L (18, female)
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I wouldn't give up on ocean boy just yet. you'd be surprised how much you probably don't know about each other. try taking some time to go out on a date (maybe a double?)
the problem is that we get so comfortable around the people we date that we forget to go out and have fun with them too. I would make one last effort to spark the fire, but if you still find yourself bored, it might be time to let him know, and start searching for someone that can meet you intellectually and socially.
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I think that your personalities are just too different. Your adventurous, fun, exciting, willing to try new things, out going.
He seems to be just boring, dull and not very exciting.
I think you should move on because in the long run you want someone who can participate in the things you enjoy. (or at least some of them)
It is good for both people to have things they do on there own away from their significant other so you don't feel smothered.
But when it's all on your own it's like your not even in a relationship.
I think you need to find somebody up to your speed. and him someone his speed.
Your going 80 mph and he is going 20mph it just won't work.
Hope it helped.
~InsaneChildz~
15/m
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