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This is really quite long but I REALLY need advice. It's abo
This is a long one. Okay. So there is this guy. I met him a few years ago. At the end of eighth grade. I'm now finishing junior year. But I knew as soon as I saw him that I liked him. A lot. Well, the summer after eighth grade, we ended up "dating." We talked on the phone for a few hours almost evey night. We were really good friends. But a few weeks later, he "broke up with me." It was more of a mutual thing. We never saw eachother 'cause he lived on the opposite side of town (only a few minutes away) but since we were all of 13, we couldn't drive to see eachother. So we decided, since we were more like friends, we should just leave it at that. Over the next few years, my like for him grew to more. I felt like i was falling in love. At the beginning of sophomore year, a group of friends went to six flags great america for fright fest. The wo of us ended up cuddling all night and it seemed to maybe be going somewhere, since this had never happened in our year and a half of friendship. But then i was told through a mutual friend that he didn't want a girlfriend right now. I was upset with him. Partially because he didn't tell me himself. Partially because I felt kind of betrayed. I know, it's silly, but i was 15 and had, like, no experience. Well, a week later, he got me to sit down with him and talk. He said now was not a good time for him to have a girlfriend because he was stressing about school and stuff, it was towards the end of the semester. But he said he really liked me... a lot. And he felt bad about leading me on. So we were friends again. Over the next few months, there would be random times at movie nights at friends' houses that we ould just start holding hands and cuddling, but nothing ever came of it. Over the last few months of sophomore year through the first few months of junior year, we started to distance. He was dating some girls but he stopped telling me about some of the more important things in his life. We didn't talk on the phone anymore. Then I went to California on a choir trip this past spring break. We started texting back and forth. He was very blatantly flirting with me, and I with him. We made plans to hang out when I got back. He would call me occasionally while I was gone, just to talk. When I got back, we decided to hang out. We didn't know what to do, since there's not a whole lot to do in our town, so we ended up making out in the back of his car for a few hours. Then the next weekend, we made plans ro go to this charity concert our school was holding. But he got stuck babysitting his little brother, so I went over to his house that night and the same thing happened. Only this time he tried to push things farther. Not all the way, but farther than I was comfortable with. And I told him so. He said that was okay, and backed off a bit. But then he'd bring it up, like, every hour. I told him no, and he didn't try to force it. The next weekend, I went over to his houes again, and he tried to push things farther again. This time it was REALLY hard for me to stop him. I didn't really want to. But I wasn't ready to go any farther than we had. And his parents were upstairs. The next weekend, I decided that I had really been the one who had called him to "hang out." He'd never called me. So I didn't call him. However, my friend stole my cell while I was at her house and texted him about what he was doing for prom. It was soming up in about a month. He avoided the topic. A few days later, a mutual friend, (not the same one as before. This one is one of my best friends. We've known eachother forever) told me that she had talked to him while I was in California. He called her asking if she wanted to fool around because he was horny and he knew she'd probably be willing. Trying to be a good friend and knowing how I feel about him, told him to call me. He said, he didn't think he could do that because he knew I liked him and he didn't want to hurt me. Well, when she talked to him while we were fooling around, he said he took her advice. He also said that other than friendship, he had no feelings for me whatsoever and what we did meant nothing. She yelled at him and he said he was just taking her advice. She still feels terrible about it. She thought maybe she could set us up. He never said anything to me. (He also told my friend that he slept with his ex. They broke up about a month/a month and a half bafore we hooked up. They'd only been dating for a few weeks.) Then a few weeks after that, he told me in gym class one day that he really needed to talk to me, but we had to go do gym stuff so he couldn't. I asked him what he needed to talk to me about a few days later, but he said he knew it was important but he forgot what it was. Then I had this whole conversation one night with the mutual friend. She said, first of all, that when they had that conversation after he and I, he said, he had thought he was the first guy I had ever kissed (he thought I would have told him if I had kissed anyone when said kiss would have happened because we were friends) but he had a feeling he wasn't. He was right. During this past Halloween, at a friend's co0ed sleepover, I made out with some random guy in a desparate attempt to get over the other guy since I was having such a hard time with it. I regret it completely. She also said that he considered our me his first girlfriend when we went out after eighth grade. And that he really liked me all of sophomore year but he was afraid to ask me out because he didn't know if I still liked him. He felt I was distancing myself from him. And I was. I was TRYING to get over him. Marvel at my lack of success. He found out a few days ago about me and my random Halloween guy. But he still doesn't know who it was. He spent an hour trying to get me to tell him who it was. I was also in a bad mood that day so I was kinda mean, and when he asked if I was mad at him, I told him that I was. I'm surprised that he didn't even guess that I might have been mad at him before now. I really don't know what to do. Part of me is really mad at him for what he did, but part of me doesn't want to ruin our friendship even though he did what he did. I don't know what all of this means or what to do.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
kIKI714 , i THINK YOU NEED TO TALK TO THE GUY YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH . TELL HIM YOU WANT TO TALK TO HIM FACE TO FACE . YOU NEED TO TELL HIM THAT 'YOU WILL NOT GIVE YOURSELF UP TO HIM AND YOU WILL NO LONGER WAIT FOR HIM TO REALLY BE THERE FOR YOU AND TO START CARING FOR YOU . ALSO ASK HIM IF HE EVER CARED FOR YOU WHILE YOU AND HIM WERE MAKING OUT . TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL AND TELL HIM ( IF HE SAID HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU THEN DON'T TELL 'EM) THAT HE'S GOING TO HAVE TO CHANGE HIS WAY . HE SOUNDS LIKE A JERK THOUGH . TELL HIM THIS AND HIS RESPONSE MAY GIVE YOU QUICK INSENTIVE TO GET OVER HIM . OH CAN YOU RATE MY ADVICE AND LEAVE A RESPONSE . YOUR ARTICLE SHOWED THE PASSION YOU HAVE 4 HIM TOO .
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It seems like you have answered yourself. Your still in love with him, so tell him. If he only wants you to sleep with him, maybe you should tell him to back off a little until your comfortable. All in all, you have a strong relationship and I hope the best for the future.
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Keep in mind that he's probably Hormones in solid form. I would consider this while you look at him in a boyfriend sense. He sounds like he's going through some problems while, at the same time, his hormones are in overdrive. I don't think starting a relationship with him again would be the wisest choice, considering I really doubt he knows what or who he wants right now. I would just stay close friends. To add to that, he commonly fears leading you on, so pursuing him right now would probably end in heart break. I would just stay friends, if that's possible now.
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