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Long, but a big problem
Liz is one of my best friends. I've been in love with her since before elementary, and I'm in college now. This was her senor year at highschool and my freshman year of college. We grew distant for a while, but a few years ago we rekindled our friendship. Shortly after this, all the feelings I felt for her rushed back along with a few new ones. I wanted to ask her out but she's against dating. All of her friends' dating history are terrible, and she doesn't want to go through the same thing. Also, she's afraid to get close to anyone.
Recently I decided to tell her how I feel. Mainly because now another guy wants to date her. Justin, the other guy, moved here a little while ago. I'm growing jealous and annoyed because I can see right through him. He gradually gets more touchy feely with her, hugging and kissing her good-bye, hanging out with her all the time, trying to manipulate her and get her to date him. He's doing so because of her inexperience in dating such situations. He beleives that by doing this, she'll eventually start to have different feelings for him, and I'm afraid that he's right. Along with this, he asked her to dance at their prom, and while they did he tried to make a move on her, but she wouldn't let him. He constantly has these friends that tell her to date him in front of me, she responds by blushing and jokingly saying no.
After I told her how I felt, she apologized for putting me through all of this. I asked her who she'd rather date, and she said she didn't know. I'm not sure if she would chose me and didn't tell me because she didn't want things to change, or the more like one, she would chose him, but didn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me. I then told her how jealous I was, and she said she was a tiny bit jealous of my touchy feely relationship with Shiloh ( One of my best friends who also happens to be a very attractive girl). I wasn't sure what to do with that. I want nothing more than to have an intimate friendship with her, but I'm afraid if I do anything like hug her, she'll think it's just because Justin hugs her. I'm also afraid of making her uncomfortable, I respect her too much to put her in any uncomfortable situation. Which is why I'm afraid to call her over the summer. I had a bad experience with another girl a few years ago, we were casual friends, but I then became depressed and in solitude for various reasons, at this time I called her too much and drove her away. I don't want to do the same to Liz.
I'm not sure what to do now. I can't get over her and stay close friends. Everytime I see her it's bittersweet. I adore talking to her, but I miss her the second we part. I can't get over her while seeing her, and I can't stop seeing her, friends like her are impossible to find around here. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
just tell her how you feel
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I SO know what it is you're going through. I too, met a young woman a little over two years ago. When first we met, I could do nothing but see myself with her,intimately, for the rest of my life. She was articulate, compassionate, caring and yes, she was hot ( still is )among all of the other things I look for in a future mate. I too, got jealous over a friendship she had with another guy. They took trips together, always went to dinner, etc. Nothing against him,I was sure he was a great guy, but he was often getting the time that I so desperately sought and couldn't get. She too,like Liz, was not looking for an intimate relationship. I became threatened by her relationship with him and in a moment of selfishness, made a move that I felt could have ended our interaction forever. All of the factors are mirror image here. Your feelings for her, mine for this young woman. As hard as it's going to be, you have to realize that this is not about you. As I had to do. What's most important is what she wants. I know that he may seem to be getting closer and getting more of the "perks" that you seek, but you can't resort to being selfish. You have already done the best thing possible. You have told her HONESTLY how you feel. That should be enough. If that hasn't already run her away, then you're probably safe. Give her time to digest that and then you'll see which way she wants to go. But let HER make the decision. Oh, what happened with me? I found one of the most loyal and best friends I have ever had.... a little over two years ago ;) Let me know how it turns out.
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