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What to do with Alcholic Husband


Question Posted Saturday February 21 2004, 12:03 am

Hello, Maybe you can help me. My husband of 12.5 years has a drinking problem. Because of his drinking problem ,he does not face life. His salary has gone down 50% in the last four years. He drinks and drives his company car. I have caught him four times driving our boys around drunk. He was drunk at my sons baseball tryouts.

He gets credit cards and hides them from me to buy booze. He hides booze in his car. I have tried to get him to counseling. All the counselors have told him he has a drinking problem. I have talked to his parents and they are tired of his behavior. Our two boys hate it when he drinks. He falls asleep and is not awake when they are up if I go out.

I work and I have to make sure that I get the mail or he hides the bills from me. In addition, I make 50% more than him and really do not respect him. I want to get him out of my life, but I feel bad for my boys to come from a broken home.

I feel that there is no other choice.



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OneMan answered Saturday February 21 2004, 11:04 am:
I know you may feel bad for the boys having to come from a broken home. but I thinkk we both know that's just an excuse. You seem too in touch with the situation to me to think that's the only reason you choose not to leave at this point. I know that for you, "starting over" ALONE is going to be quite an adjustment, and honestly, it's an adjustment that most people don't want to undergo. That's normal. but, in the event that I'm way off base and it IS your fear of the boys/broken home...consider this. The home is about as broken as it can get with him right NOW. The children are at a point where they've come to "hate" an aspect of their father and that's never a good sign. You don't respect him. I don't think I need to address that issue. Finally, it only appears to be getting worse. I'm sorry to say it, but there's nothing anyone can do. Your husband has to come to the realization himself. Until that happens, he's not going to be successful at putting the bottle down. His decdiet only serves to worsen both the trust and everyday quality of you and your family. You have to do what's best for the children at this point. There's nothing that states that once you get him "out of your life" that you can't welcome him back in once he's effectively in tretament and making progress. it sounds as if he has a lot of issues to deal with and as stated, he'll have to face those on his own BEFORE he can address them with you. God bless you and the best blessings on your decision. Please do not hesitate to write me at my private e mail if for any reason you want to talk about this further. Regardless, let me know how this plays out. Keep in touch, as much as you need.

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