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My Best Friend Hates Me
My best friend really upset me tonight. He told me he thinks I slag him off behind his back and stuff, and thinks that I see him as a shallow bastard. None of this is true and I'm really angry about it. I can't talk to him about it either because he says things like "whatever" in response, or just shouts at me and makes me feel even worse. What makes it worse is that when I told him how made me feel he said that I say that all the time and now it's been de-valued. He also said things like "oh it's always you who's hurt" as if i'm the victim, but in this case, how am I meant to feel? I can't feel nothing but hurt and disappointment when I'm being spoken to like that. I hurt him aswell, by joking abotu calling him shallow, I didn't realise it had really got to him and feel really bad about it. I should have known judging by the way he's been feeling about his other friends lately, but he was laughing along with me so I didn't think he was taking it personally. I was really looking forward to spending time with him and watching movies and stuff tonight, and now it's all gone to waste over something completely fabricated. I feel really down and have been crying over it all night. He's my best friend in the world and I hate to see him sad, especially when I'm the cause of it. How can I make him see that people value him as their close friend and that he is an incredible person, with a big heart, and full of kindness, patience, sensitivity and intelligence. (the first 3 are vital when dealing with me..) I just thought I'd ask for some totally unbiased advice..
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
This person, whoever he is, sounds like he means alot to you..
Sometimes, we can't know the consequences of our actions before we make them. Perhaps he just feel frustrated because his life is filled with things that he feels powerless to fix. The frustration is likely to boil over with people he cares and trusts.
People often laugh to disguise emotion aswell as to release it. As a friend to this guy, you will never get itt right 100% of the time.. so it's all about adjusting. The essence of life is adjustment.
Just offer a supportive ear to him and try to talk to him a sensible and calm way. Clearly, your hurt too and he needs to understand that.. He has a lot of sucking up to do :)
Arguments are never nice but if you get through them then your stronger for them..
Simon.
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