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Sexual orientation
Honestly I had no idea where to post this or ask this as I never have before but I’ve had serious, serious confusion. I am a female. I know I like other women and I feel as though I do not like men. I have a boyfriend. I really like him but I don’t think I like him in that way. I never want to marry a man and my question is what do I do? And how do I tell him I’m a lesbian?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
If you know for sure that you are lesbian and not bisexual, then I wonder exactly how you ended up with a boyfriend. Or did you not feel you were a lesbian at the time you started dating?
When we are younger, we have lots of life experience ahead and it is experiences that help us decide where we fall on the scale of sexual identity. I don't know your age, but I am betting there hasn't been enough experiences yet to know for sure. I have known of plenty of adult woman, one a friend who was bi and introduced me to some of her bi friends at a party. What I found out from talking with them and their husbands is that all of them were attracted to women and only one man, their husband. So even if its just one guy, that still qualifies as being bisexual.
You may never meet one guy whom you desire sexually and want kids with but can't stand the though when it comes to other guys. All I can say right now is that it seems the guy who is your boyfriend does not bring up any desire in you for him, or lets say no romantic feelings. So if this is the case, it may simply mean you don't feel enough chemistry with him and that is the reason you give him, not that you are lesbian as there is a slight chance that a decade from now, you might realize otherwise, that you are bi sexual rather than lesbian. So all you tell him is that in the time you've been dating, you have never felt any chemistry or call it those more than friends feelings. That is actually true. He doesn't have to known the why of it. Now lets just think of how it might go if you tell him you are lesbian. He is angry and never wants to see you again thinking you've been playing him all along for some sick joke. You go off and have your relationships with women and then one day, you meet the one and only guy you can tolerate, but its much more, you have actual desire for him despite the fact you otherwise like and are attracted to only women. Then you and your husband are somewhere where you run into the old boyfriend. He see's the rings on your fingers and says to you, "Now I know for sure you were making up the lesbian excuse to stop dating me, because you have a male husband." Imagine how awful that would feel. Its less awkward if he simply thought as you said there wasn't enough chemistry for you to want to be with him. Let him be the one to assume you were hetero, lesbian or bi. But at a young age, all it will do is mess with his head and make him doubt himself as being the kind of male who can attract women.
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there is no right way of telling your boyfriend that you are a lesbian lets start with that. you should have a sit down with him have tell him how you truly feel lay everything on the table because sometimes he may have strong feelings for you looking at marriage with you, you wouldn't know. Sometimes he would like that you are a lesbian who knows right. be honest with him because if it were you i'm sure you would want to know that big secret.
If you felt that way before you got with him then you should not have gotten together with him, but if that you recently realized that you are attracted to women do yourself a favor and tell him that you don't like t=him sexually but just as a friend.
I wont lie to you telling him that it will hurt him really badly. He may want to distance himself from you and everything like that Just be prepared to lose that person in your life.
The next month or so after you tell him you would look back at say im glad i finally told him.
I wish you all the luck with this. i hope what i said helps you
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This is a hard question to answer especially not knowing your age. Below are 2 websites I found that you can visit that may answer your question better than any of may be able to do.
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