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How to not take it personal when dealing with rude customers?
I'm a person who avoids conflict and I hate rude people because when they're rude to me I end up crying and thinking about it the whole day. Today a customer came up to me and asked how much a product was but in order to answer that I asked him which product because there was 3 different ones of the same one. Then he said did you hear what I said? I said no because I didn't want to explain why I asked which product cause I'm not much of a talker then he went on and said "in school do you listen to your teacher?" And I said yes then he said well then if you can't hear somebody you'll tell them to speak up I said "ok" so I selected a random product for him and told him the price then he said "I don't want that one I want the regular one" okay wtf then you should've answered that when I asked (of course I didn't say that) I said okay I told him the price of the regular one but as I was saying it he added somethings else but the only thing I could think of was him insulting me so then I asked him to clarify what he meant. Then he rolled his eyes and said see you're not listening again I said I wanted this and that. So then I said okay, I gave him his order and then he asked me if English was my first language I said yes. And he said "wow" and walked away. That completely ruined my day and I ended up crying and had a panic attack I also had to leave work early cause that's all I could think of. How do I deal with rude customers and not take it personally? Or what's a way to be polite but rude at the same time so that the customer can't report me to the manager. I'm 18 btw with social anxiety (it's gotten better but as you can see I can't handle conflict I don't know how I'd deal if it was more than one customer today)
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I used to be the exact same way. I was young, avoided conflict like the plague, and was sweet to everyone. My self esteem was very low though. I was so nice to everyone because I didn't want anyone to hate me like I hated myself. I'm very sensitive too and suffer from anxiety and panic attacks, so if I got bullied by a customer it was not unusual to find me locked in the bathroom sobbing.
I hate that this is the answer, but I got A LOT better with time and experience. There's no real secret to dealing with it. It comes naturally for some people who don't have self esteem issues or who are good at not caring what rude things customers have to say. But for others like me, it's something we must work on because unfortunately, that's our job.
BUT on the other hand, know when something is above your pay grade. If someone is treating you far too bad, know when to stop and say "Okay it seems we aren't getting anywhere, let me go ahead and call my manager over to help us," or what have you. If they don't like the policy you just explained and won't accept it, offer to call the manager. It's the managers job to be there for you with these customers, so take advantage of that. Being low on the totem pole means you don't make the rules, you follow them.
For the small scenarios I will call on experienced coworkers. If you work with someone who's been there for years, run it by them. You may know the policy up and down but some customers don't want to hear your answer, so they want to talk to someone else who will give them their yes. They think someone else will bend the policy for them (makes me roll my eyes lol).
For example, when I worked at a gas station, people very frequently got upset about our prepay pumps. They could not pump then pay. They would always pull the "well I came here a month ago and someone let me do it" (they probably went to another station, our systems CANNOT do pump then pay, physically impossible) so I said "I'm sorry, it's been that way for a long time, we physically can't do it." and they for whatever reason didn't believe me. So I would call over Greg who worked there for 10 years and ask him "Is there anyway to avoid the prepay for our pumps?" Greg would say "None whatsoever. I've worked here for 10 years and it cannot be done." And hearing it from 2 employees helped the customer see, well this won't go anywhere, and accept the answer. 1/10 may still not hear it, so that's when you call the manager. You've done all you could, call in the big guns ;)
It helped me after a while to laugh it off. Think about how "wow, this guys life sucks so bad he has to yell at a nice gas station lady to blow off some steam," and think about how you always try your best for people. There is NOTHING else you could have done. Or if you made a mistake, everyone does! You apologized and were as nice as you could be, and fixed it. If someone is still screaming at you for it, that's their problem.
I did not get this way over night. Years of customer service slicing my heart and scabbing it over helped me look at everything with my job logically, not emotionally. You have anxiety like me, which is very unfortunate but for our quality of life, it must be worked on and you must learn how to make it okay. If it simply becomes too much, if you try and try and it's just too hurtful, try another line of work. Factory work doesn't require customer service skills, but it has its own pros and cons. Some people are more aligned with that, like my husband :)
Me, I know I have a knack for customer service because I'm friendly. But with that friendlines comes a sensitive heart. Just know if you decide to work on it, it gets a lot better. Just be patient with yourself, it takes a long time to change things about you, even if they're for the better :) Hope I helped somewhat <3
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Oh hon, so sorry to hear how thats affected you. I answered a previous question of yours on starting as cashier at a fast food place.
I got this stuff all the time. If it wasn't me at the register at the moment, then it was someone else treated like crap by a customer. During my shift, it was at least one, whether directed at me or not.
I had the same problem. People would ask for something but not specify which one. They have the problem with listening and being clear in their communication and usually are impatient people. These are likely the types who also have daily road rage events, and snap at people where ever they go. They are the ones with the problem, anger issues, or believing that they are perfect and everyone else is the problem in his world, from the highest official down to the lowliest worker. These are people who will never be kind to anyone. They like to bully people verbally and enjoy getting away with it. Or they may never have learned social skills or have mental illness. the list goes on that shows how the problems lie with the customer and its not you.
I was taught to be nice but also helpful and never to tell a customer they are wrong or put them in their place. The saying 'The customer is always right' is not literally true. The customer hardly ever really knows what they are talking about. Its just a 'facetious' saying that really means, don't piss off the customer so we don't lose a sale.
Unfortunately hon, some of the customers have such a hairline trigger that it can take very little to piss them off, like having to wait in line to order, longer than they thought they should have. I have had people ask me for things that were not on the menu. OUr place didn't serve breakfast all day but they would come in and try to order order breakfast items which I explained we served only til 10:30. They would already look angry because now they felt foolish for asking and my telling them what I was trained to say, in their eyes made them look stupid. So I'd get some who would say, "I'm a customer, why can't I have what I want, no matter what time of day?" or "I was in here recently and got breakfast items during the day." to which I'd say, I have been working here for (mention number of months) and breakfast has never been served past 10:30 AM since I have been here. Is it possible you are thinking of McDonalds? I know McDonalds in this area serves breakfast all day."
When a customer asked for something our restaurant could not or would not do, I'd ask if he'd like to talk to the manager. They usually do. Then they'd get the same story from the manager, yell at her/him and say I am never coming back here ever again or call us of us crude names.
This is part of the job. I suggest that as soon as a difficult customer has left the counter, and as soon as there are no more customers waiting to order, that you talk to the boss and give them the scenerio if they didn't witness it for themselves and ask them how to handle that particular situation as it will come up again.
I tried to use the tactic of educating the customer. Some times, there were current advertised specials a customer didn't need coupons for and they were ordering basically the same in a more expensive configuration. I would explain, "Were you aware that meal is on special now. So if you order all the items by their selves, it will be more expensive. Customers love to get the cheapest deal. No one ever got upset when I didn't just blindly take that order but tried to be helpful. Its only the ones who are 'assholes', sorry but there isn't a nicer way to describe them, who occasionally make the job unpleasant. I also know we had some shift managers who had problems with dealing with unusually mean customers. They'd smile and calmly restate the rules and policies while the customer raged at them too. The workers there all know that some customers are going to be nasty and never willing for a win-win situation.
So as to asking for a sandwich or meal without specifying, you did right to ask which one. Your mistake which was small and I understand due to social anxiety was when he said did you hear what I said? You said no because you didn't want to explain why you asked which product. Then he asked a personal example question which you did not have to answer and he should not have asked but you answered that yes your listen to your teachers which gave him the fuel for putting you down then, saying that you are inattentive.
I had an ex husband like that. He knew something was wrong with him but didn't want to admit it, so he went through life always pointing the finger at me as a way to get peoples attention off of him. This is a defense mechanism some of the really mean, and disturbed people use a lot and any Psychologist could tell you that. This is what the customer was doing to you.
Next time, when asked Rhetorical Questions which mean (questions asked in order to produce an effect or to make a statement rather than to elicit information about the food in your store) ignore and don't answer them, no matter how many times he asks or how angry he gets that you are not answering his rhetorical questions. Believe me, a mad customer is loud enough for others to hear and know that you are not the problem but he is. Don't let a person lead you off course of the information he needs but for some reason doesn't seem willing to listen to. Smile and say, Sir, we carry many meals that fall under that description. I will need you to be more specific so I can know what you want." I don't care how he rants and raves at that which is likely. If there are customers waiting in line behind him, you may have to speak loud but calmly over him if he doesn't comply and state, "Sir, there are other customers waiting. I'd like to help take you order now, but in order to do that, I need you to answer my questions. (Make sure your beam your most winning smile at him) If he persists, then ask "Shall I get the manager for you?" Some will say yes, some will quiet and finally comply and some won't answer but keep being nasty. Its at this point you make the decision for him and go fetch your manager and quietly give a quick version of whats going on, don't let customer hear if possible. The manager can then tell him the same thing and he can either comply or walk out. Usually at this point, most mean customers will see that no one is going to crumble under their bullying and give up and just order, or walk out.
Do your best hon. I will say that sometime, the location of the fast food place may be the issue, low income area or on very busy street with lots of street people. They actually aren't nasty unless they are drug addicts and still thats seldom with drug addicts, they are mostly looking for free food handouts which is not part of the store policy. They know it too cus they'll ask plenty of times and target the new employee whom they think just might break a rule and give them something for free, whether just a container of sauce, creamer, fries or some food that was too old and is in the garbage. It can't be sold for health reasons and thats also why they can't get it for free. NOt because the store is into making a profit and not giving away to help the poor. That is something you never do, no matter how sorry you feel for someone. A guy once walked in asking me for a few free fries for his dog which he had with me. I told him, wish I could but its against policy and I won't lose my job over it. We have camera's everywhere and it would certainly show that I gave something away that wasn't paid for. If you are determined to make this job work, how about you get back to me with any special situations after the fact to learn how it might have been handled differently. Its best to ask your manager that but if they are too busy at the time or you forget, you can always ask me. Whatever advice I give, it would be best to check if its still within your particular stores policy.
PS. Don't worry about what the next customer is thinking of you when you were yelled at and chewed out by the nasty one. I had plenty who looked uncomfortable with how someone treated me and told me I did well in handling the previous person and I was polite and in the right and it was just that last customer who was the idiot. You will get that sometimes too. People who pay you supportive compliments right after a nasty customer which lessens the blow a bit, knowing there are many more who are nice.
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First of all if your going to deal with the public you need to grow a thicker skin and not take things personally. There are all sorts of rude people in this world and that guy was one of them. When you asked him which one he realized he knew less then you and had to put you down to feel superior. When he saw he was getting to you he felt compelled to squash you. This is a man who is stepped upon at work and at home and takes it out on everyone else. You were in a now win situation from the start with him.
I once worked for a major international airline at JFK. One of our flights was late arriving. There are certain rules governing late arrivals.
This gentleman comes up to me at the ticket counter and demands compensation for the late arrival. I look at his ticket and under the rules he is not due any compensation as we arrived with in the allotted time. He then starts in on me calling all sorts of names that he is a lawyer and he knows the law so on and so fort. When he ran out of steam I handed he a preprint form we have that explains our responsibility and told him if he felt we wrong he could write to the address on the fork.
HE then told me to do what is physically impossible and started to walk off. As he did I said, "I hope you enjoy your stay in our city." He replied with a one finger salute as the agent next to me was on the floor in hysterics. He thought that was the best non-insulting kiss off he had ever heard. My reply was, just following company policy.
The moral of my story is never take anything personally. I can't explain why people feel the need to berate people who are there to serve them but that is the way some or maybe most are. Had that gentleman been nicer I might have been inclined it was really my choice up to $50. But since he was being an ass I chose not to offer him anything.
So the best answer to your question as to how to how to get a dig in on one of those customers. Just say something like we thank you for your patronage, or have a nice day. If there all pissed off it will sting them and they might go to a manager but what is a manger going to say if you were being nice to them.
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