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how to convince mom
I am f 12 almost 13 and it is summer time and I have to go to bed at 8 curfew of 630 I think this is ridiculous and because of it have stopped being invited to parties and friend get togethers I have even tried talking to her and she says last year you went to bed at 745 u got a extension my early bedtime is mostly caused by my little sisters 8 wanting to go to bed the same time as me how do I talk to her
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Maybe give some free advice about: Parenting?
I also agree it's too early a time for a 12 or 13 yr old to go to bed. Maybe thats what her parents did with her but that doesn't make it the wisest choice. Yes, you will stand out with friends. I know you were asked to have Mom read what the last advicegiver said. If you dont want to try that or she hasn't responded favorably, you might try going to aunts and uncles or a grandparent if they are a bit more open minded, see what they think, and if they agree its too early to go to bed, then have them talk to your Mom about it. Parents are more open to hearing corrections and such from other adults they are close to like relations. I remember my sister talking to me often about how one or the other of my kids went to her about a certain issue instead of me because at that time I was a bit close-minded about one or two areas of life. But by time they were teens though and thanks to the prayers and support of my sister, I came around and changed. If I can do it, so can your Mom. Good luck dear.
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A mother of a 12 year old girl wrote us asking a very similar question. Below is the answer I gave her and she thought it was an excellent answer. Maybe you could show it to your mother and see if it will help you.
Your sister is 8 and there is no reason you should be forced to go to bed at the same time she needs to. You mother is indulging her and in a manner of speaking punishing you. You need to be allowed more freedom to grow and socialize as a teenager if you are going to be able to handle the new world you enter in middle and high school. Also make sure she sees the part about being teased and bullied at school that an early bedtime can put on you.
My answer to a mom.
Eight-thirty is a bit early for a 12 year old to be going to bed. Twelve is consider preteen and yes teenagers can sleep the day away if you let them regardless of when they go to bed. But as she says it is summer time, it is her vacation and 830 is really too early.
I would say most of her friends are still up at that hour and available to do whatever 12 year old girls do with themselves these day. Having a strict 830 bedtime means she probably has to be in the house by 730 to shower and get ready for bed. Bringing her in at that hour almost 2 hours before the sun goes down opens her up to ridicule that will follow her to school and make her life miserable.
A more reasonable schedule for her is to be home by sundown and in bed by 10. Just for the summer. Once school starts her bedtime should be adjusted based on 8 hours sleep prior to having to get up and get ready for school. She needs some time after school to decompress and relax then tackle her homework and relax again before showering and going to bed. This schedule is enforce Sunday through Thursday. Friday and Saturday you will need to adjust based on after school activities such as dances and eventually dating.
Your little girl is growing up. Next year she will be a teenager. She needs to be able to spread her wings and experience life with your guidance and being there for her if she falls. If you have raised her well and she has a good understanding of right and wrong then trust her until she loses that trust.
I've raised a son and helped my sister raise her two daughters. They have all turned out to be, in my view. outstanding adults. My one niece is a teacher, the other a homemaker with children of her own. My son a firefighter/Paramedic soon to add a nursing degree to his resume. Yes we made some mistakes along the way. My advice is made with the benefit of those mistakes so that you don't make them as well.
Ask mom to read this and hopefully see will see that each of her children need to be raised differently based on the needs of their separate ages and maturity. One of the biggest problems parents have is children do not come with a handbook on how to operate then like a new car does. we learn on the job and sometimes we need advice.
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