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resonable bedtime
I have three kids oldest daughter 12 only son 9 and youngest daughter 2 my oldest daughter 12 has a bedtime of 830 every day and it is summer so she always tells me but it is summer why does it matter when I go to bed what was your or your kids bedtime at this age
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I agree very much with adviceman. I am a teacher, myself, aspiring to be a school counselor, so I hope I can provide some perspective. Ideally, at 12, she should be getting 8-9 hours of sleep. Some children need more. During the school year, if she wakes up at 6:00am, I would suggest 9:30 as an appropriate bedtime for her age and sleep requirements. I think this is reasonable because as adviceman said, it provides sufficient time for after school activities and homework. Bedtime should be a time to decompress, not to bring on more stress. If the bedtime is so strictly enforced at 8:30, this can bring on added stress. As for the 9 year old, I would say that 8:30 is appropriate for the time being, and should be increased gradually (like maybe by half an hour) as he grows up. So, next year, maybe increase it to 9, so that when he is 12, they will have the same bedtime and it is fair. It also won't be too big a shock on the body to lose a whole hour of sleep. Hope this was helpful.
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Eight-thirty is a bit early for a 12 year old to be going to bed. Twelve is consider preteen and yes teenagers can sleep the day away if you let them regardless of when they go to bed. But as she says it is summer time, it is her vacation and 830 is really too early.
I would say most of her friends are still up at that hour and available to do whatever 12 year old girls do with themselves these day. Having a strict 830 bedtime means she probably has to be in the house by 730 to shower and get ready for bed. Bringing her in at that hour almost 2 hours before the sun goes down opens her up to ridicule that will follow her to school and make her life miserable.
A more reasonable schedule for her is to be home by sundown and in bed by 10. Just for the summer. Once school starts her bedtime should be adjusted based on 8 hours sleep prior to having to get up and get ready for school. She needs some time after school to decompress and relax then tackle her homework and relax again before showering and going to bed. This schedule is enforce Sunday through Thursday. Friday and Saturday you will need to adjust based on after school activities such as dances and eventually dating.
Your little girl is growing up. Next year she will be a teenager. She needs to be able to spread her wings and experience life with your guidance and being there for her if she falls. If you have raised her well and she has a good understanding of right and wrong then trust her until she loses that trust.
I've raised a son and helped my sister raise her two daughters. They have all turned out to be, in my view. outstanding adults. My one niece is a teacher, the other a homemaker with children of her own. My son a firefighter. Paramedic soon to add a nursing degree to his Resume. Yes we made some mistakes along the way. My advice is made with the benefit of those mistakes so that you don't make them as well.
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