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I don't think its working out
I am a student of a renowned university. my first year to be precise.. after a short period, I met a guy in his 3rd year.. to cut the long story short, we started dating..
Later I noticed that he comes to my hostel only on Friday nights, or Saturday.. Anytime we see each other in public, he does like he doesn't know me.. I don't know wat to do because I feel like he is just using me. anytime he comes to my hostel, late at night, he wakes me up while kissing me allover, we make our till dawn at times.. i
he has never acknowledged me as his girlfriend. we do talk at times, but lately it has been about us making out and I don't like it... what can I do to stop all this.. because I don't want my emotions to be toyed with
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Let me mirror what the others have said here. It sounds like youve gotten yourself into what i like to call "a grey area" Where nothing is clear and there hasnt been any communication on what you two ARE exactly and that needs to change NOW.
Tell him that you will not be together and this will end immediately if he is not willing to talk to you about things and make his intentions known so that you know where you stand with him. Theres absolutely no reason why there should be such a lack of knowledge about what you two ARE and where you stand. To me it sounds like he IS just using you and may just be looking for a good time and he knows he can get of it from you because youll let him in.
Time to put your foot down lady
good luck ; )
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I really cannot add more to what "Dragonflymagic" already advised you. In fact I want to repeat what she said, and cannot emphasize more for everyone in a relationship - "A good foundation in a healthy relationship is made up in two parts, one being that there is the chemistry for being each others best friend and second the romance and sex chemistry"
For me, he is playing with your emotions and using your sexual energy. The very fact that you are not liking it, is an indication that something is not right. I don't see the emotional bond (best friend part), at least not from the guys side. If he loved you, he would have taken you close to him, holding your hands in his hand, explained you why he behaves weird in public and why he does not acknowledge. Even if he did not acknowledge, his eyes would tell you that and you would not have asked this question.
You already know the answer to your question. Most of us underestimate sexual energy. By making out with you only on weekends, and not acknowledging he is not only playing with your emotions, but also living and sucking up your energy.
I may be wrong here, but it seems like you got carried away when he got physical with you the very first time. Every time he comes, your body needs and wants it but your heart and Soul is missing. So as "dragonflymagic" said, you need to communicate with him about how you feel. He may give you all kind of reasons and excuses to continue sexually with you, but you have to ask your heart and make up your decision.
Good luck ))
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You need to communicate. if there are things you wont tolerate, like played with, then write down your boundaries and get it clear in your head before you start talking. Any answer he gives that you don't understand, ask him to answer in another way as you dont understand or paraphrase back to him, Is this what you meant. Its not a good sign that he is afraid to acknowledge you. If a guy was really in love with a female, he would want to be showing her off to his family, friends, coworkers, simply cus he feels so special that you would have a guy like him. Making out isn't the only part of a relationship but half.
I'll explain. A good foundation in a healthy relationship is made up in two parts, one being that there is the chemistry for being each others best friend and second the romance and sex chemistry. Some marriages have only one or the other and those relationships suffer or split up eventually. You have to find out whats up with him. If he worries more about what others will think since you are younger, then its your choice to allow him to s tay in your life in whatever way he is willing to be a part of it, or if he isn't in love and thats what you want, then you are settling for less by staying with him.
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Talk to him, tell him that you've noticed he's a bit secretive of you and that nobody wants to feel like a secret.
Ask him if he see's you as his girlfriend, tell him that you want to feel more involved and not just a stranger in public.
I understand this is a hard situation, just make sure you are calm about it or he may feel that you want it to be over.
If he cares for you he will stay in it for the long-run.
But just from what I've read I feel that he likes the intimacy between you guys a bit too much,
that;s where you need to be careful in drawing the line between caring about you and being in a relationship or being used for fun.
I hope this helps!
And let me know if you need more advice!
-DanSkittles13
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