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He said he's too busy
Ok so my ex bf and I broke up in January. I met him two weeks ago so he could help me with my car. The whole time he kept touching me and we were really acting like couples until be pulled out his phone and showed me a pic of a girl on his phone saying how that's his girl. I was upset on the inside but I still didn't let him know I was was. The whole time we kept acting like a couple. We didn't kiss though or anything. So yesterday we were messaging back and forth. He claimed how he showed me the pic of the girl just so that he could get on my nerves. I spoke to him today, he told me that right now he's too busy with school and work and that he doesn't want a relationship right now. We both go to the same college. I tried to be supportive because I still want to be with him and he also said he'll let me know when he decide if he still wants us to be together again. I asked him if he claimed he was too busy for me because he was dating someone and I also asked about the picture of the girl. He said "the picture is my business don't worry about that". I'm so confuse right now because I feel like just maybe he broke things off with me just to be with her. When we were together everything was fine. I just don't know why the sudden changes toward me that led to the breakup. I really do want to get back with him but not right now after this semester ends in May. Any ideas? Please help
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Ugh I'm really turned off by this guy.
He can say as many excuses as he wants, but he already knows you haven't moved on and you still want to be with him. You guys act all like a couple then he pulls out his phone and shows you a pic of another girl. Sounds like a sweet guy.
And now he'll let you know if he ever decides if he wants to get back together with you. But he's seeing another girl and hey, if things don't work out with her, you'll be waiting.
He showed you a pic of her then says, "the picture is my business, don't worry about that"
Don't wait for him to decide if he wants you or not. Please look for someone who doesn't pull things like this to "get on your nerves".
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He was testing you to see what he could get away with and since you didn't protest when he touched you in a proprietary way (meaning you're in an exclusive relationship together) While one hand touch on the shoulder in a conversation to emphasize as you express something is normal and means nothing, constant touching throughout means he is interested in a sexual relationship, I doubt its for anything else if he treats you already as he has and said what he said without being in a relationship. He may or may not be dating other girls but this guy is trouble either way.
What you need to learn quickly is that there are males who purposely test females like this to see if they are weak, get confused too easily and have no clue what a good guy is like or what is good or unhealthy in a relationship or if the girl is desperate for a boyfriend and will settle for less just to have a guy ask to date her, take her out, or have sex with her.
Right now, you have unintentionally taught him that he can get away with treating you like shit and you will just take it without complaint. Guys like that also have a potential to be verbally if not also physically abusive.
I don't know how long he dated you but it may have been long enough to figure out he likes you for sex but not friendship, or he's a player anyways and wants a whole string of girls calling and begging to see him , all believing they are special in some way. This strokes his ego and makes him feel important and needed but in a really twisted way. I don't know why you broke up, but I think it was a good thing. However, you likely didn't learn an important lesson with him, so fate has brought him around to you again. Not because he's in love with you and the two of you are meant to be together but for you to learn something from it. I know because I was in an abusive relationship. Once I left, I was tested by meeting another guy who was very similar, in some ways worse. As soon as he showed his true self to me, I broke it off with him and no longer responded to emails, or calls.
Since you say you want to be nice and supportive to him (supportive of bad behavior??) then there's nothing I can tell you to help you move on and find a really good man. You're not ready. It takes a confident woman who knows what she wants and isn't afraid to ask for and insist upon it, that makes a woman attractive. I've heard from male relationship experts who teach females how to understand men. Males are actually attracted to a confident woman whether he or she are right for each other. I can attest that it is true. Before meeting my 2nd husband, I was on a dating site hearing from tons of guys who thought I was a very intriguing, interesting woman and good looking too and wanted to meet. And I posted a list of criteria that guys had to meet before I would meet them or even consider dating them and that drew men's attention like nothing else. Oh by the way I was in my late forties then and was hit on by guys ranging from 20 to 60's and multiple times with the younger ones, not just a one time occurrance. I would suggest you find ways to work on yourself,gain more self confidence, decide what you really want in a guy and go after it. If you are not particular and just about any male will do, no matter how he treats you...then I can't help you. And no one on here, no matter what advice they give can help you because change must come from within, a desire in you to change. If you feel you are doing the right thing as is, then keep on doing it. If not, something needs to change.
I wish you the best.
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Oh honey... he's playing you.
I'm not gonna give you advice on getting him back, because someone like that is bad for you. Especially the comment that you didn't need to worry about the photo he blatantly and purposefully showed you? That's manipulation. He's testing to see how smitten you are and how much you'll tolerate. You deserve someone that treats you like a human being... I recommend you date around.
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