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Would You Pay For This?
Imagine that you went to your daughter and son in law's new house for Thanksgiving ten days ago. There were some other relatives there, so there weren't enough bedrooms for everyone and your youngest daughter had to sleep on a matress in what they call the media room.
Saturday night, you and your daughters stayed up late in the media room talking. Your oldest was sitting on the far side of the couch drinking wine and somewhat intoxicated.
Sunday morning, you and your family were preparing to make the long, painful, nine hour drive home. Then you and your oldest daughter discover this series of stains on the wall of the media room above the matress that your youngest daughter slept on.
You both assumed that your youngest daughter did it, but she insisted that she didn't and you believed her because you noticed that the purple stains looked a lot like the red wine your oldest daughter was drinking the previous night. Given where she was sitting and the way she was swinging the drink around, it was obvious that she splattered the wine on the wall.
You tried to help by cleaning it up, but the cheap paint started coming off of the wall with nothing but a slightly wet rag. It would have come off no matter who tried to clean it off. You son in law, though, insists that the entire wall and perhaps even the whole room will have to be repainted.
Your daughter and son in law were acting mad at you for it, so you offered to pay to have the wall repainted. You apologize to your daughter and son in law, but both of them (especially your son in law) wouldn't forgive you and gave you the cold shoulder. They also acted mad at your youngest daughter who has done nothing wrong and is being blamed for something her older sister did.
You're getting really feel it with it and have discovered that there's no reason to pay for the wall. Your youngest daughter did not create the stains and you may have taken the paint off the wall, but if you didn't, your oldest daughter would have. Offering to pay for the wall didn't make them forgive you and sure, you said you'd pay for it, but your oldest daughter and son in law never, and I mean NEVER do anything they say they're going to do.
So, would you pay for the wall?
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We are probably about the same age so I believe I know how you feel. We are about to experience the same thing at Christmas at my sons new home with the entire family being there and the possibility of what you experienced could happen to us.
My knee jerk reaction to what you have written is to say if it is affordable either send them a check or go to Home Depot or Lowes, whichever is near their home, and get a gift card in the value of a gallon of paint and the cost of a roller and roller pan plus a plastic drop cloth. I'm sure your son in-law is capable of painting a wall or a room. It does not take a professional painter to paint a wall.
When my wife and I moved into our first home my sister brought a Jell-O mold over for Thanksgiving dine and promptly dropped it on our brand new Beige carpeting. Try as we might we were unable to get the stain out. Fortunately it was in a spot where we could just put a potted plant over it until we moved out. It was out of sight and out of mind. The new owners never saw the stain as they put new carpeting in before they moved in. Your Daughter and son in-law can hang a picture over the spot until they repaint the wall.
Paying for the paint and having your son in-law paint the wall should hopefully keep peace in the family. I would not pay for a professional painter as it should not take more than two hours to paint the room and a professional would want $300 to $500 to do the work. No reason to spend that kind of money when you are not even sure who is at fault.
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Every family has these kinds of disagreeances, It certainly happened in mine where I was blamed and my younger sis stopped talking to me for a whole year taking sides etc... It's a no win situation. But for sake of blood family and doing all one can to keep communication lines open, you sometimes have to do the hard thing, which is 'ride out the storm' for however long it takes, and that means not quibbling about whether you or either daughter was innocent and if you've offered to pay for it, it's a nice gesture, and they should be grateful. But come on, lets be honest, even beloved family members screw up in their actions and words in how they treat family, yes, it's a human weakness many are born with and do not learn how to control their emotions and respond as an adult once adult hood hits. Sometimes a person can go life long not growing up in areas and situations like these.
I understand about cheap paint. I've rented in apartments where just rubbing with water and a wet washcloth is enough to take the paint off. Painting is a big job and one they may never do. In fact, if they are not in tight financial straights and can afford to pay a professional painter to come in and paint the whole room with high quality paint, it's their house, and my opinion is that they should do it, it's part of being a home owner. If they don't want the minor accidents or damages done by visitors, then they'd have to never allow family, friends or strangers in the house. If I were you, I'd offer to pay a professional painter to come in and paint the room. That way they don't get money that they have no intention of using to paint the walls. Call around and get estimates, giving the rooms dimensions and once you've chosen who you want to pay to paint, tell daughter the name of the painter you will pay for the repainting and that the contract is only for that room. She can then schedule at her convenience. If she wants the money more than fixing the wall, you'll probably never have to pay him/her. Good Luck
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