I'm 16/f. I've been dating this guy for a couple months but I've known him since I was 9 or 10. He and I have been best friends and he knows everything about me and all of my flaws and fetishes and still chooses to be with me because that's a part of me he accepts. I can't stop thinking about him and I constantly wanna be talking to him or in his embrace. We were both at a party and we got drunk and he was kissing me and told me that he loves me. I actually believe that I love him too? What? Is this even possible? Don't say young love will never last because my parents have been together since they were in grade eight. Someone explain the feeling of love
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life? Dragonflymagic answered Tuesday December 9 2014, 1:09 am: Just because your parents knew each other since 8th grade and married doesnt mean you can count on it happening for you. It's not like something, a trait that you can inherit.
With someone you know that long, there's a friendship established usually before puberty hits and hormones start flowing. Some of the people in this situation make the transition just fine into romance or love and some don't as easily.
For one thing, you may be very comfortable with each other as best of friends and assume feeling so comfortable and trusting means you have a great chemistry as far as the sexual side of the relationship but that is not a guaranteed thing. As we go through puberty, we gain the same thing adults have, pheremones, something our bodies give off that a person of the opposite sex can pick up on, more a feeling, because they are reacting to the pheremone. We have no control on whether our pheremones will match those of a person who we grew up with as close friends.
Often, for fear of losing a best friend, a couple can be afraid of sharing that now during or after puberty, they are or have developed strong feelings that do not resemble the friendship feelings of love.
There can be strong love feelings in a friendship. But it may not be the kind of love that will work long term for long term partner type relationship including marriage.
There are different types of love.
Agape= brotherly love, love for fellow man. So not necessarily people you know.
Eros=intimate love, sexual passion
Philia= affectionate regard, friendship," usually "between equals, expressed variously as loyalty to friends,
Storge=natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring and vice versa, also for ones siblings.
All these can be strong and very true, the only difference is that with Eros love, you have pretty much all the types of love for one special person, the Eros, sexual love, Philia of being equals and loyal to each other, Storge love, the feeling like family, even without blood ties as you have to parents, siblings and extended family, and even Agape love as I see it, where I care what happens to my husband simply as another human being, his welfare, his feelings and emotions and so i would never do anything that puts any of that into jeopardy.
there are always exceptions to the rules and though young love generally doesnt last, mostly due to the two individuals not being able to make the best decisions for their life at any given point from puberty to mid 20's due to the factor that peoples brains don't finish and complete their growth until 25 and even sometimes almost 30, this would be the part that handles the making of good decisions, mental maturity in how we treat others, etc. But I am an example of a teen who matured mentally faster than the majority so it's entirely possible to treat each other in ways that will not kill the relationship early on.
So based on understanding the different types of love, if you feel that for him and him for you, it's entirely possible to be in love right now. Whether that will change as both of you continue to grow and mature remains to be seen. If it does, that is no reason to avoid enjoying it for now. People change greatly in who they are and what they like between their teens and later 20s. Those going to college end up not having the same things in common any more sometimes even with friends from high school. Its a period of life where we can change and grow in different directions. If these changes end up being the same for both of you, then my guess if you have a good chance of being together long term or for life. [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
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