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I have been feeling very stressed out lately,help?
Hi, I'm in 11th grade, I have a lot going on lately. For starters I have two more years and I have no clue what I want to go to college for, or if I even want to go to college. I have a lot of pressure on me from everybody and it's really getting to me. I currently I have a 4.3 GPA which every one says is good, but I feel like it's not enough. All my life I've tried to make my dad proud, but no matter what I do I feel like he's never proud of me. Everything that I've thought of going to school for he said it would be a let down due to my high grades. Everything I've ever done is to make him proud, but I feel like giving up its a lot of pressure on me and for what? Any advice would be great thanks guys. There's a lot more but character limit.
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Just imagine for one moment that you don't even know what your GPA is. Imagine that your dad doesn't care what choice you make and then start to think about all the things you LOVE. What do you see yourself doing? Even if it is something your dad would find ridiculous like racing cars or becoming a musician. The question to ask is, Am I passionate about this?" I am going to give you the best advice you will ever get in this lifetime! Don't EVER do ANYTHING you don't have a passion for! This applies in every area of your life. Don't marry without passion, don't choose a career without passion.If you do either of these things you will not be happy with your life. Believe it or not making money is NOT the most important thing!Most people realize this far too late in life and then it is difficult to change the situation they are stuck in! You are almost an adult and you are going to have to explain to your father that you appreciate his input but this is a decision that you have to live with the rest of your life so you have to be the one to make it. Ask him to please respect any decisions you make regarding your education. No matter how he acts or what he might say your father will be proud of you no matter what! I know a doctor whose only son decided not only that he wouldn't follow in his father's footsteps but chose to become a cabinet maker instead! Well needless to say that didn't go over very well at first, but the boy was adamant that this is what he wanted to do . His father now brags about his son the cabinet maker at every opportunity! I might also add that the young man has done very well for himself and he is very happy!You don't have to make any decisions yet! Just be observant and get an idea of what you might like. You are far too young to feel pressured about your future. You should be enjoying your life and having some fun!These wonderful high school years come and go so fast.I am a little concerned about the statement you made on giving up. Please don't feel there is no way out. Just tell your dad he is putting too much pressure on you and he needs to back off. Forget about all this for a while and just get out and enjoy yourself!If your dad continues to pressure you perhaps you should talk to a school counselor, minister or trusted adult friend and have them talk with your father. Sometimes another adult can help put things into perspective!Best of luck to you!
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Wow, I could have written this letter, at least the parts about trying to make my father proud of me and what to do after High School. It took a long time and two full Colonels in the Air Force who mentored me to make realize that I am the only person I have to satisfy and make proud.
As I learned later in life the problem between me and my father started long before I was born. Unknowingly it was the reason why I tried so desperately to please him and make him proud. I have no idea why you are trying so hard to please your dad though a 4.3 GPA is something to be very proud of. If your dad can't take pride in this accomplishment of yours the problem is all his and not yours.
My advice is not to do as I did and you are doing which is to work to please your dad. It is not going to happen. It is time to take stock of what you want from life. What is going to make you happy? Do you want to be a Doctor or a Lawyer then that is what you go after. If you want to be someone that digs ditches then that is what you go after. You have to do what is going to make you happy. Just make sure that whatever you decide is going to make you happy in life that you do so to the best of your ability.
After meeting and being mentored by these two Colonels I adopted a motto. "The only person I have to be better than tomorrow is the person I am today." What this means to me is; if I can learn something new and grow a little each and every day then I am a better person today then I was yesterday. I believe this is all anyone can ask of us or we can ask of ourselves.
Don't give up; if you are unsure of what direction to take, what courses to take to prepare for a course of study in college. Speak with your guidance counselor at school. Their job is to help you make the right choices and they even have some test you can take to help you make those choices.
Stop trying to please your dad, it’s a lost cause if he is anything like my dad was, and start trying to please yourself. You will be a lot happier if you do and you will find the direction you are looking for.
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For starters, a lot of people don't know what they want to go into. Even if they think they do, a few years into college they change your mind. You are still young and have a while to decide. Just try to enjoy school now while it's easy and fun! Yes, you should still do your best in school but remember to have fun as well. As far as your dad goes, my dad was always that way (and still is) One day I finally realized that no matter what I do, it will never be good enough. So, I started doing things for me. As long as I was happy and I knew that I was putting my all into whatever I decided to do, that's all that matters. You can't please everyone; and that is a hard lesson to learn. Just make sure that you are keeping yourself happy in the process! If you would like some direction go and talk to one of your school counselors about options for college! They can be really helpful. They can give you ideas for colleges and give you information for financial aid! I wish you the best of luck and if you need anything else, feel free to inbox me!
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