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I don't like this girl but I don't know what to do...
14/F Sorry this might be a little long.
So there's this girl who's been at our school for awhile now maybe a month or two let's call her L... there's been two new girls after her, so she's not really the new girl anymore... So my friend, let's call her E, has been friends with her for awhile (L was at a school with a bunch of people from our school, so it's not like she doesn't know ANYONE), so she hangs out with us.
I kind of liked L at first, but now she's getting on my and my other friends nerves. She's sort of clingy to us, and she kind of doesn't shut up. She talks about weird things, like how she talks to ghosts and how much she loves her little brother and how much she loves bologna...etc.
Now, I'm not a mean person at all. I'm always really nice to her and I talk to her and stuff, but she seems to ignore me a lot, and she doesn't even know my name still. And no, I'm not exaggerating that, she really doesn't know my name, or any of my other friend's names (except for E). She's also really mean to my some of my guy friends, and two of my girl friends in particular. With my guy friends, she doesn't let them sit at our lunch table and yells at them and calls them creeps. With my 2 girls friends, she picks at their interests/disinterests and is always yelling at them and being a bitch to them
So yes, I know there's really nothing I can do about it. And yes, I also know I might sound like I'm being judgmental, but I'm trying really hard not to be. I always give people chances and I'm really nice to people, but she seems to be passing up every chance I give her, and she's mean to me, so that's not fair.
What I'm asking is, how am I supposed to tell E that no one is really warming up to her? I know E is allowed to be friends with whomever she wants, but I can never, EVER be around E alone or talk to her privately without L crowding around us. E is totally oblivious to her behavior. So I need help on what to do! Thank you so much!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You sound like a very nice person. Now, enough is enough. You can't be so nice that you allow that kind of treatment for yourself or your friends. Whether your friend sees it or not, you see it.
You can pick one or a few or your friends that do see the way she is, and that will be nice, and sit and talk to her. Tell her the things that are getting on your nerves or creeps you out. Just say it in a nice way. Then ask her if she can try and not do them anymore. I know it may be hard, but communication is the key.
If she doesn't respond well, then I would advise avoiding her. You can only take so much.
It really sounds like this girl needs some mental help. I'm not trying to sound funny, but it sounds like she has some major issues. You may tell one of your teachers how she behaves and ask if she has an illness. That's not a rude question. You just may want to know so you'll know how to handle or deal with the things she does.
I hope it goes well.
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L doesn't sound much like a social butterfly.
If she doesn't want to warm up to people, she doesn't have the right to judge people. And if she's constantly picking on your friends when she doesn't even know them and they have been nice to her, well, let's put it in simple terms: she has major issues. Yes, there are people who are complete oblivious b.tches to those around them unless they get to know a person really well and vice versa--then they might be nice. But sometimes you have to know when to put a break to hostility, right?
You friend E might just be as oblivious with what's happening, or she's just trying to be really nice to this girl.
Honestly, if it was me, I would say something like this to E, "I know you're really good friends with L and all, but she's being hostile to a lot of people around you as well as me. I don't want to sound mean or anything but that's the truth. You can be friends with whoever you want, it's your choice and right. However, since you're on good terms with her, would you please see why she's acting so hostile or at least get her to open up and be nicer to people around her? Honestly, I don't know if I can take much of her anymore and I don't want this to wedge in between us. We've been friends for (x)years and I love you, but she's getting on my nerves and I don't feel welcome around her, but she's always with you. I'm not trying to be nit picky or telling you to ditch her as a friend. Really, I'm not. I'm just asking if you can find out why she's so angry towards people or at least get her to be nice to us."
Good luck.
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Hm. Seems like a pretty tough situation to me.
The best thing I can advise you to do is to arrange a day for you and E to hangout ALONE and go to the movies, go shopping, or just hangout at yours/hers house, doesn't matter. And calmy and as nicely as possible, suggest subtly that all of your friends are telling you that L is rude and disrespectful to them. If E starts acting irritated, make sure you add that you don't mind if E is friends with her and you're not being jealous or anything. Tell her it's just an observation.
If she gets angry at you, tell her you're not trying to be mean and control who she hangs out with. You're just simply telling her like it is. And if she still doesn't understand after that, then idk. She's probably not a true friend, as much as I'd hate to admit that. :/
Any true friend would accept yours AND your friends criticism without getting angry or irritated.
Please feel free to ask me further questions or update how the situation goes.
I'd love to hear back from you :D
-Kayla
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