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How do you give a baby up for adoption?
im 17 years old and pregnant. i just moved 900 miles away from my boyfriend and he came to visit me over the summer and thats when it happened. my mom doesnt want me to get an abortion because she doesnt believe in it. and my boyfriend and i know that were not ready to supply for a kid. so, my only option here would be adoption right? the thing is... i cant even imagene doing that. has anyone else been in my position? i mean i know i have to do whats best for me and the baby but giving up someone like that just seems impossible
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Adoption?
I think you should consider open adoption. Have you talked to your mom about keeping it? Would she help you take care of it? If not, then open adoption would be a good idea. My one friend who is adopted always says how happy she is that she has people that care for her. She still sees her mom too. I think it would be incredibly hard giving away a baby too.
But, I would talk to your mom about it. Maybe their is something you can work out. You have like 9 months to think about it. Just slow down, and figure out whats best for you.
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I think that an open adoption would appeal to you. Basically, what happens in an open adoption is that you give up your child to another family, but you are still involved in the child's life. Kind of like an Aunt or something. The only downside is that, as with any adoption, you would have no parental rights. You can make a contract of sorts though that requires visitation and passing along of information so it's not as bad as it sounds. Like any adoption, it can be hard on the child, but it's much less difficult than a regular adoption or certainly an abortion. I don't want to turn this into a debate about abortion, but if that is something that you feel would be best for all parties involved it is something that you should look into. I'm sure your mom would forgive you. I personally don't agree with abortion, but you definitely have the right to decide that for yourself at this point. Since you are 17, your mom's advice is important, but think more about what you and your boyfriend want. Please don't leave him out of this. The child is half his. Legally you can decide to do whatever you want, but morally, you should leave some of the decision up to him. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that I was helpful! Finally, here is some information on open adoptions. [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
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I feel immensely disappointed that you blame your mother for not allowing you to have an abortion. You should have those same respectful decisions for yourself. Your mother is right. Abortion can be fatal for some women, and deteriorating mentally and physically for others. Please consider taking the pro-life stand with your mother. I can supply a whole lot of information as to why nobody should agree with abortion. If you are interested, please send me an inbox question and I will get enough material to you to help you decide which side is wisest.
Think about the life the child now. Yes, you were selfish and did not consider this major consequence (pregnancy) but you don't have to be any more selfish than you already have been. Even if you're not able to give him/her the best life, someone out there can. When couples look to adopt, they tend to look for infants anyway. If you decide to take this child's life and end it before it even gets started, you destroy what chance they had at being something.
Adoption is always an option of yours if you are not physically, mentally, or financially capable of caring for another human life. Please look into it if you feel you can carry the child but not raise it properly. You can contact an adoption agency in your area or you can relinquish your rights of your child and place it in the custody of the state for adoption. I've read something about Volunteers of America for adoptions being really good but I have no personal experience with them myself. Here is a link directing you to their site:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Just as another note, some agencies actually let the expecting party interact with possible parents to ensure they are giving their child the best chance at life as possible. You may want to look into those agencies to help find your child good, loving parents. It may even be possible for you to work out a way that you can still be in the child's life lightly as they grow so you're aware of their progress.
You do not need to murder your unborn child for any reason.
Adoption is completely available and it costs NOTHING.
Hell, you can even leave a newborn at a hospital and you won't be questioned or anything. It is LEGAL to just up and leave your newborn in the hospital if you don't want it.
I hope that things calm down for you and you figure out a way to give your child the life he/she deserves. If you have any more questions regarding this subject, please feel free to ask me. :)
P.S. If you're not ready to make and raise babies then maybe you should re-think having sexual relations. Seriously, there was no surprise that sex made babies so, of course, you being pregnant wasn't that big of a shock to you. Please reconsider your actions from now on so you're not in this same situation down the road.
Also, "safe" sex is not safe. Condoms are 88% effective with typical usage. Hormonal birth control (the pill) is only 92% effective with typical usage. Neither protect against STDs. Do you really think you should risk it from now on?
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I have only two pieces of advice to give you.
First off, the decision of whether or not to have an abortion isn't your mother's to make. If you're going to not have an abortion, make sure it's because it's what YOU believe, not your mother. Ultimately, she has very little say here. If it isn't something that you feel violates YOUR beliefs, then that is another option for you to consider.
Secondly, don't despair. Lots of people have been in your position before and made the right choice (Whatever choice that may have been for them). I can't use myself as an example (I'm a male), but rest assured that you're not the first to go through this, and you won't be the last. It seems like an impossible choice to make, but really it's very possible. What makes it harder is panicking and feeling helpless. Try to relax and view the situation objectively. Anything else will increase the chances of you making a stupid mistake you'll regret later.
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I have had so many friends go through this.
And your going to need a strong supprt system.
But ultimately the desicion is yours.
have you talked to your boyfriend about what he would like?
I think the hardest thing to do would to carry someone inside you for 9 months and let it go...
but dont let someone pressure you into making a desicion you dont want.
From my experience, all of my friends have kept the baby despite what thier parents said...and now they could'nt imagine their life without their baby. And there are so many people helping them out finacially and in every way.
hope this helped a little...
Keep me posted!!! :)
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