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RELATIONSHIPS
I have two lovely cousin brothers but there are times when they ger overly critical of me,put me down sarcastically .....how do i deal with them,i don want 2 be rude but i cant take it no more either
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As long as they are nice guys, as you seem to believe they basically are, if you let them know how you feel then it should stop, or at least lessen.
At the same time, try to realise that when they are being critical of you, they might be doing it with your best interests at heart. We tend to criticise people to their faces as a way to help them improve themselves. I'm not saying you should listen to everything they are saying, but realise why they are doing it and if they have good reason, take heart and see if there's anything you can do.
In the meantime, just ask them to be more tactful in their criticism because it hurts you when they say things like that all the time.
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Let's face it: Guys are just plain immature.
They put you down and get sarcastic with you because they want you to respond to it. And if you respond to it by showing them that it bothers you, then you are giving them exactly what they want.
A way to get used to their crap is to either ignore it, or just tell them to shut up even when they keep trying to put you down. Something really annoying you can do is plug your ears and just yell "shut up shut up" over and over and it will drown out their voices. Hey, if they can be immature and annoying, so can you!
Just try not to let it make you think that they hate you. You said that they are two lovely cousin brothers and they probably are. But there has to be times when they have to act like guys-childish.
-TheTeenGirl
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Well, personally, I'd say age and maturity (and lack their-of) are probably playing a big role in this situation. Resorting to physical violence is usually not a good idea, especially in a two on one situation. If they lack maturity, as I assume they do, talking to them won't work either, just go over their heads. I'd suggest either talking to their parents, or just ignoring them. Put downs and over-criticalness are often signs of low maturity and low self-esteem, and serve as reminders of their own insecurities. It may be difficult, but just brush off their insults, and chances are that they will either get bored of being ignored, or they will out grow this phase. Best of luck to you, and email me if you need any further help!
Jordan
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Hi
Sounds to me like your cousins have a bully streak in them.
The best way to deal with people like that, is to IGNORE THEM!!!
I know that's hard to do when they are putting you down, but they do it to get a rise out of you and piss you off. Don't let them get to you.
Everytime you get angry with them, or cry, or whatever they're thinking to themselves "yes, we got her!" If you act like they don't exist at that moment, they are going to think "what the heck". If they can't make you angry, then they will likely stop doing it.
If that doesn't work, then I would try talking to them. Explain that you won't tolerate their behaviour anymore and see what happens.
I wish you the best, take care.
Brenda
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