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humorist-workshop
Does my real dad even know about me...?
Okay well Im 16 years old and I dont know who my real father is. I know his name is Jim and he lives in west virginia. I dont like asking my mom because everytime I ask she gets this look on her face and trys to change the subject as if she were mad or something. I dont want to make her upset or mad but it feels like theres a wholllle other life that i dont know of! I mean its not one of those things where "she doesnt know who my dad is" she knows but wont talk about him. But there are days where I am completey upset cuz I just start thinking of him even though I dont know who he is."does he even know about me? does he not love me? was i not what he planned on having?" so many questions! Now the TRUE question is when im 18 should I ask my mom <and dont leave until she tells me the wholle story> then go and try to find him or do you think it happend for a reason?!?! should I just let it go and live with all the pain? im so lost and heart broken. i mean i survived 16 years without a true dad but it hurt so bad excpecially because i never talked about him. What do you think I should do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
well since u seem like u really wanna know who he is and what he is like I think that u should sit down with your mom and explain to her how you feel and tell her you might wanna talk to him sometime and get to know who he is and if she will allow you to call him up you should and if he isnt someone you want to talk to after u know him then leave him alone and move on but if he is a good person then maybe you will be able to have ur dad again..hope i helped
-Haleigh ~~plz rate my advice~~
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His name is probably on your birth certificate, if there's no way of getting it out of your mom. Your mom is probably trying to protect you from someone you'll discover to not be a very nice person. However, remind her that it's important to at least find out his and his family's medical history. Illnesses like breast cancer, alcoholism, etc tend to run in families and these might be things you want to know.
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maybe ur mom doesnt like tlkin bout him cuz he wasnt right for u... of course he loves and NO u were not a mistake juss keep asking her about it she will tell u wen the time is right
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I think you have a very innocent way of looking at this. With a heart like yours, how can any father not love a daughter like you. But there's other ways of looking at this. You shouldn't worry about whether he does or doesn't love you, all parents love their child in some way, it's sort of built into them. Your mother definitely has reasons for not talking about him, they probably had a bad relationship long ago. I think everytime you talk to her about it, you're not really making her mad, it just seems that way. What's making her mad is probably the memories of your father. So in that, he's still making her mad, not you. I believe on issues like this, people are entitled to the truth. Anytime you think would be a good time, try to sit and have a long talk about your father. You're owed at least an explanation. As for finding him, I'm not sure if that would be very wise. Your mother seems to not want to discuss him, so she may have a low opinion of him. If you go through the trouble of finding him, there's a good chance you may be disappointed in who you find. If he came to see you, then that would be a different story. So talk to your mother sometime. Get her to answer at least the important questions. For example, if he even knows you exist.
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I can imagine how hard it must be for you to deal with this constant mystery. I was thankful to have both my parents growing up, though now I often take having my father around for granite. I think you should, depending on the situation and relationship you have with your mom, sit down and pick a right moment to talk to her about your dad, no secrets. Tell her that your old enough to handle the truth, no matter how hard it may be. Maybe you could write him a letter and send him a picture of you, and if he doesn't respond, he's not worth your time. If your family is happy now, maybe your mom doesn't want to bring an old memory back in to the picture. Let me know how it goes. Good luck <3
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I definetely think you should sit your mom down and just tell her "Mom I've lived 16 years of pain w/out a real father and I need to know about him. Now please...talk to me" Just tell her what you told us...Also yea,I think it would be good to arrange a meeting between you and ur dad. That would be a nice little reunion! Good Luck!Tell me what happens k?
xOxO-tasha
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Hey if you want to know more about him I think you have a right to know! I think you should talk to your mom about how it feels like somethings missing and you need to know about him. I agree with trying to find him when your 18 but make sure he knows your coming. Maybe you can look him up in the white pages online. If you know his last name, and the city he lives in west va. If your mom wont listen to you about trying to know him more I suggest u try the white pages to try to see if hes listed there..good luck!
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