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embarassing situation
Iwas under the wrong impression that a guy that I am friends with at the gym liked me. I asked him out for coffee and he didn't tell me right then and there that he has a girlfriend. He phoned me and told me after a week and a half. The reason why he didn't say anything sooner was because he felt it was too personal a subject to discuss at work, and that he could get into trouble for getting involved with someone in the gym (he is a gymnist). When he told me he had a girlfriend and things where quite serious,it hit me like a ton of bricks. Now I'm realy embarassed to even face him at the gym. He says we will always be friends but I've lost face. In my own eyes it looks like I'm the desperate girl that asks for dates and then gets rejected. I should never have asked him out at all. How am I going to face him like nothing happened? I feel realy bad and uncomfortable. Tell me what I should do in facing him. Maybe I should ignore and avoid any contact with him. I'm embarassed. Barbie. (26yr female)
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I can understand that you feel embarrassed about the mixup. However, the positive side is twofold:
a) This guy feels flattered that you asked him out and no harm is done.
and
b) Now you know that when you do ask a guy out for coffee (which is a GREAT idea!), you can preface it with, "Would you like to go have coffee, that is if it won't make your girlfriend jealous". Then he will come back with either, "I don't have a girlfriend" or "I'd like to, but I am seeing someone." This way, he will either accept or he can gracefully decline and no hard feelings.
You can still smile and say a friendly "hello" to this guy without feeling embarrassed, because he was a gentleman to call back and be honest with you. He will realize that you know he isn't available, so when you have contact with him, treat him like you would anyone else.
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I liked the samae guy for over a year and a half..... each day I had to look in the face and realize he didn't like me back. It's been a year since I liked him and I've realized it made me even stronger. If this guy says that he couldn't discuss the situation at work maybe he too was a little embarassed to tell you to your face that he had a g/f. Realize that you are not the only one embarassed in this situation. You should still try to maintain a friendshi level with this guy. I am still friends with the guy that I had feelings for. Realize that sooner or later he and his girlfriend will break up... and maybe if u are still friends u will be able to talk with eachother on a more personal level. But don't get your hopes up and don't be embarassed. Everything will show reasoning in the end. Much Love, KeL
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<span style="background: url([Link](Mouse over link to see full location); There is no reason for you to feel embarassed, hun. Okay, true...you wanted to take him out and didn't know he had a girlfriend because he didn't tell you. But that is not for you to blame yourself on, it was his fault because he did not tell you had a girlfriend at first. And no one can tell if someones taken or not because it's not like people walk around with a sign TAKEN on them. That would really be strange if that did happen but that's besides the point. If you guys were friends before, don't let this thing that happened break you apart. It's hard to act like it never happened when it did. There will be times when you have to act like nothing happened, and other times you can't act like it never happened. Because things aren't going to be back to normal for you it seems like. He knows you feel sad about it, i'm sure. And this happens to a lot of people...not just you. Don't ignore him and avoid eye contact with him, that will make him think you hate him when you don't. Talk to him more on this if you are that concerned, and maybe it will release all the tension about this. If you want to be friends with him be there for him. In friendships there's bad times and good times. This was just a bad time, just put it in the past and move on. Your frienship is worth more than that if you want it to be. Take care! Love you! -Mandee </span>
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YOU DID NOTHING WRONG first off!! There is no reason to avoid him even though you might have been a bit embarrassed, but your dating life will continue to get better, just don't worry so much about it. Don't give up just yet, the best things come to you!! =]
P.S.- I don't care whether it was good for his job or not .. he should have told you that he had a girlfriend before he let you throw yourself at him!! Seems to me like the guy just likes to score with the ladies, so don't worry about it.
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Life will go on, there are other guys, you shouldnt be embarrassed, you didnt know it happens...
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