Member Since: December 11, 2006
Answers: 4
Last Update: December 14, 2006
Visitors: 902
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my best friend is really starting to bother me. She doesn't respect personal boundaries, like she's ALWAYS using my laptop at school when i ask her not to or taking pictures on my phone. IT really bothers me because i have some personal stuff on there. The problem is that I don't want to talk to her about it because 1. she's gonna think i have like weird stuff on my computer, which i don't, just private writing and pictures, and 2. she's gonna think i'm overreacting and no fun. my family has a lot more money than hers so I feel bad not letting her always use my stuff.
also, I'm feeling kind of lonely, because when it's just us, we have SO much fun, but at school she'll kind of subtly walk away from me to talk to other people and i think maybe she feels that i'm bringing her popularity level down or something, i'm not as outgoing as her and don't have as many friends.
Also, she's always asking me weird big favors, and always asks to have my mom bring us to a mall that's like 30 minutes away. her parents rarely drive, and it bothers me that she takes advantage like that.
please help, i don't know what to do and I REAlly don't want to lose her as a friend!
Thanks (link)
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That's a really very common problem among friends. Your friend is a type of girl who's like totally into the 'fun' area of life. And, I hope you know, when she does things like doing your laptop and all, she is not trying to invade your privacy or something, but is just trying to be friendly adn funny! And she does all this because she doesn't know! Really. Sometimes people have a tendency to 'irritate' without intending to.
Try to tell her all this in a friendly manner. I mean, its not really necessary to be rude in order to get things done. You can ask her politely.
If you want to be a bit more sporting (this is a trick I just came up with - but I don't think it will work for long - but you can start with it and later tell her seriously - and politely) - you can just you know kind of friendly blackmail or teasing(don't take a topic which hurts the person or else your friendship will suffer) - you can then say that if you stop doing all that I'll stop teasing you! Remember the topic needs to be very casual.
And then, I understand you might feel a bit neglected in school when your friend goes away. But, you must understand that even she have friends who she would want to spend time with. SHe may not really think that you are 'bringing her popularity level down'. The solution is that loosen a bit around her (I mean don't be too possessive about her. The more you think about it, the more it'll get into your head and the more it'll trouble you. This is a very important concept: "Don't let others rule YOUR life. Be your own pilot.") I mean you can make new friends, enjoy yourself...And then you'll find that life is fun! And the 'fun' factor is not just limited to spending some quality time with your best friend. Once you do this - you let positive thoughts enter your mind -don't spend time pestering about pre-acquired conceptions, trust me, you will relish time with your best friend even more!
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I am 13/F and not the best christian. I dont go to church but I do pray everynight. Well on Sunday my brother's best friend asked me out and I thought he was joking so I quickly and coldy said No way! Then that night I really liked a guy and foolishly prayed "lord, I know I havent been the best but please you know how much I like him could you please somehow influence him to ask me out? Ill pay the price like......you can make this week torture for me if he just does that one thing" then I went on with the prayer. Now me and the guy WERE really good friends. Then on Monday he got mad at me for no reason and one time when we were shoving eachother in the snow he just yelled "STOP FLIRTING WITH ME!" I was taken back but not too mad. Then everyone starts calling me names and a looser and stuff for no reason. I get really confused cause im actually very popular. Then I find out I failed a Math Test! I have been a straight A student since grade 1 and have NEVER failed a test. Then at lunch since I forgot my lunch the guys start calling me anorexic. I also got tripped in the hall and other stuff. On the busride home the busdriver said she couldnt see me in my seat and gave me a checkmark for it! The next day my best guy friend got mad at me for not telling him who I liked. In the end I gave him a note (a VERY sincere note) saying how I thought that there was no need to ask and he didnt need to know and how it didnt matter who I liked because im ugly and not like girlfriend material like my best girlfriend and how I was happy he was my friend and I considered him my best guy friend. also on that day the rumors kept going on and getting meaner and on the busride home I got another check mark for being a little late even though my teacher kept us in 5 minutes after the last bell. Then today I find out the guyfriend thinks im a freak and I scare him. These guys shove me to the ground and kick tons of snow in my face for a long time (they like held me down) then someone found my agenda and said that on the frontpage it says im in love with this one guy and how I think he really likes me and when I go to prove he's lying its written there in MY handwriting in ink. So now that guy thinks im a freak. My best guyfriend told people what I thought about myself so now everyones bugging me about it. I sat in gum wearing my favourite jeans and I got a third checkmark which means im getting a bus write-up in the morning. What is happening to me? Is he seeing if I can take the week or is he punishing me or what?! (link)
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This does happens many times. When anything bad happens and that feeling comes into our minds that 'everything is going wrong', we MAKE THINGS GO WRONG INDEED. Now this might be hard to understand but this is what it really is like. You take any example from your life and you'll see the readymade example of this concept.
Whatever it is, God is not among the ones who will pick on you and 'torture' you for sure.
So, my advice would be that keep a positive attitude. A good method to do so is to meditate. Now, at this age, I understand, tou are not quite familiar with exactly how to meditate deeply, so heres a small trick, just drink some water, lie down in bed (or you may even sit - whatever suits you) - a position which is absolutely comfortable and nothing 'bothers' you. Imagine that some energy is flowing through you relaxing every part of your body (this part is very important).Then close your eyes, and don't think about anything in general. Thoughts would autimatically zoom into your head. Let them pass away. Then, after some time (after as long as it seems comfortable), bring positive thoughts in your mind - like maybe imagine that everything is going back to normal, you are leading your perfect life once again and everything good (don't let any bad thoughts affect you).
Don't worry...Everythings going to be absolutely all right.
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Hey everyone! Well, I need boy advice!!! Ok, I'm in 8th grade this year, and about 4 months ago I started to like this guy A LOT. And he talkes to me and I talk to him and whatever, but I don't feel close enough to him. I want to get to know him better and I want him to get to know me better. How can I do this? You guys probably don't even understand how much I like this guy. Like, this weekend (this may sound really weird, but its true) I spent my whole weekend thinking about him. And I get really sad because I don't think that he likes me, which he probably doesn't but you know. And another question I have is- what does a boy do when he flirts? What are the signs of flirting, how can I tell, and how do I flirt back???? This may seem like a lot to ask, but I need a lot of advice. Like, we play around with each other, such as kicking each other (not to hard though, lol!) and sometimes when he walks by my desk he will knock my pencil out of my hand or kick my foot or something, is this flirting? Its not like hurting kinda kicking, but like, just playing around. Its hard to explain, but I need help! Please help me guys! I'm soooo confused!!!!!! Luv ya guys!!! (link)
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This is going to be a very interesting question to answer! Thats because I know EXACTLY what this is all about.
First of all let me tell you that a guy usually comes to know if someone like him or not (Ok! Maybe I am saying too much but I know! Atleast most guys who 'notice' a bit of the happenings around them if not clearly, for once sometimes have an idea if someone likes them). When he does notice something, if its a normal guy of this age, would tend to feel happy and just 'let the events unfold.' As I understand, you are already quite friendly with him. So, the only thing which can be done here is that you must increase your number of conversations - but its important you never show very much affection for him in the beginning(I am not saying don't show it at all). It might even be a good idea to appreciate him for something. He would like it.
Now for your second question, as I understand, yes, he IS showing signs of flirting. Another few ways you may notice flirting is that the guy's voice tend to soften when he talks to ou esp if you two are alone. He often looks at you straight in the eye. And of course he 'plays' with you, hits you (lightly of course), keeps smiling at you a lot and in brief 'enjoys' being with you.
In my opinion, this case just needs some time - its all set!!! hahahaa
Best of Luck!
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EVERYTHING WAS RIGHT BUT IN A BLINK OF AN EYE, EVERYTHING WENT WRONG. My boyfriend and I have been together happily for a few years now, and lately, everything has been perfect. The only bad part was his best friend. I never liked him, I always had a bad feeling about him and never was comfortable around him. I told my boyfriend about this everytime his friend would come around so he knows exactly how I feel about his friend. My man friend is nothing but bad news, he's in and out in jail and is nothing but trouble. Anyway, he recently was released from jail and his parents do not want anything to do with him. So he ask my boyfriend if he can stay with him. I always be over my boyfriend house but I don't live with him, my man also watches our child in the daytime while I go to work. I was upset that he moved him into his house knowing how I feel about his friend and since his friend is moving in, his wife and baby is also. I can't describe the way that I feel. I tried to have a talk with him because my child is there and I don't feel comfortable with all those crazy strangers in the house. He's telling me there's nothing that he can do which is bull s###! I feel like my feelings do not matter in this situation nor is the safety of our child. So now my boyfriend and I had a huge argrument and we're not talking. I just think this is wrong that he knew how I felt and also how he's making it seem like it's okay for this kind of person to be around our child. (link)
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This problem is more complicated than it might seem. To understand it fully, let me first take you into the mindset of your boyfriend. As you said, the mentioned person is your boyfriend's best friend. Now there are again many parameters to this thing. As you might have yourself felt many times, you can't see your very close friends (and its the best friend in this case mind you) in trouble especially if you can help him. Now heres the situation. His best friend is in serious trouble and has asked your boyfriend to help him. Your boyfriend also know that you don't like him for whatever reasons. He immediately faces a dilema. What to do? Which side to choose??? And now, he feels even sadder whenever you ask him questions regarding him.
Now I am not going to say to 'adjust' with the man. I know that would not be a healthy advice and is in no way desirable (especially when the upliftment of a child is involved). Now my advice is that you need to bring some changes in your method. For example, you may start the conversation by saying something like "I really do appreciate your concern about your friend...". This would help your boyfriend to feel better about the whole thing (because in such situations people usually consider themselves responsible for all the wrongs in everyone's life). Then, don't immediately jump to asking him to do something about it. One possible method you might suggest is that your boyfriend himself helps his best friend to find a new house (in this way it wouldn't be considered rude either and will thus be easier for your boyfriend).
Show more love and care to your boyfriend. This might be exactly what he needs at this time. Trust me on this.
I hope this will help you...Best of Luck!
PS: I would also like to add my agreement to BitsandPieces's advice. That is really very right. A child, especially a small one, readily grasps everything around him. Now if he has negative influence arounf him, this situation definetely has to be stopped.
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