Miss Desiree lives in Ohio, with her husband, two sons, mother, and for dogs. She has been a published author, and has extensive experience with special needs children and couples therapy.
Gender: Female
Location: Ohio
Occupation: writer
Age: 38
Member Since: April 15, 2005
Answers: 8
Last Update: April 20, 2005
Visitors: 3916
Main Categories:
Families
General Sex Questions
Parenting
View All
|
| |
|
Thanks everyone for your advice but there's another problem. Many of you said that I'll go to him since he is shy. What if he rejects me? or what will i say to him once we are facing each other? Pls. help me. I rate 5's. (link)
|
No one likes to be rejected. It's a horrible feeling. Unfortunately we all feel that way once in a while.
If your not quite ready to take that chance, here are a few tips to get the ball rolling with minimal risk.
1. Treat him like a friend. Chat with him about mutual intrests and friends, ask his opinion on things. Do the things you would do with a friend, instead of treating him like a potential boyfriend.
2. Be yourself. You don't want him falling for some fake persona. Then your stuck acting like some one your not!
3. Don't be afraid to let things develope slowly. It sounds like you both are shy, so why add more pressure?
4. If you really feel like you can't wait to ask him out, the get it over with. Waiting will only make it scarier for you.
5. Think about exactly what you want to say, run it by a friend, or us here at Advicenators, and get some feedback. And think about how it would sound to you if he were the one saying it.
The bottom line: He's probably more nervous than you are. And rejection isn't the end of the world. Ask him out, either way you'll know and be able to stop worrying!
|
I'm not sure where to turn. I feel like I have run out of options and I just can't cope.
I've seen a pyschiatrist, physchologist, hypnotherapist and counseller- none helped. I recently went to my head of year when things were really too much- to the extent when it was either help or die- and she, although she said she wouldn't since she saw it wouldnt help, has just asked a counseller to speak to me. I need real help. I know it can help to talk through fears and everything but it hasn't helped me in the past and I cannot put myself through the pain of living for the date where I saw a therapist and begging them to help me. It was hell and it never really helped anything.
I need SOMETHING more now. Things are really bad at the moment. It's hard to explain but basically I have complete phobias of lots of things (certain films, accents, places, anything) that I can relate to a certain person who hurt me. I don't want to go into this since it's not overly relevent to this question.
I just want to know if there is ANYTHING else out there. I really don't know what to do. I want to die. I feel like everything is helpless and no one can help me. I'm not allowed medication as the pyschiatrist felt I was too dependant on things. I don't know where else to turn. My parents don't either.
The reason I went to my head of year was for this reason- I am totally stuck. I can't handle it. I feel like I am falling and no one can stop me. I need help so badly- I just can't see anything out there.
Please reply if you can; thankyou xxxx (link)
|
I have to tell you some thing very important. Please pay attention.
The way your feeling, and reacting to life right now is probably depression. And it's serious.
If you have a therapist, or doctor who doesn't think you "need" medications, that is only their opinion. Try a different doctor. Or clinic. Or support group. Or help-line.
I would be more than happy to listen to you. I know I'm not a doctor, but I'm a careing, listening advocate. I really am here for you.
The bottom line: Reach out for help. Again and again, if nessessary. Your worth fighting for! And remember, I'm here if you need me.
|
|
My boyfriend an I have made plans for the future. I never ask for advice, I rather give it.. but I find myself at a loss of words when him and I tackle a few subjects. Our relationship is amazing, everything is going right, and is headed in a positive direction. However, for quite some time now.. I've believed strongly in a few select topics. And he refuses to be open-minded about these things. He relies on the excuse, "It's how I was brought up." I'm sorry if it's being unsympathetic, but I just don't see that as an excuse. He's an adult, he can make up his own mind. Everytime we talk about these things, it starts a debate, which neither of us can seem to win. If there would be one thing that would end our relationship, it would be this. He denies that he's closed-minded and it's a pointless argument everytime to him, but he refuses to change and I refuse to be okay with this. Any advice? (link)
|
There are a few questions you really need to see eye to eye on. Children, monetary goals, and usually religion, are definate relationship brakers.
He's an adult, so I'm assuming you are too. What you really need to know is, can you give up your bickering? Can you "agree to disagree"?
As a couple, you will need to respect the others beliefs, even if there contrary to your own.
If it's not a day-to-day issue, ignore it. Enjoy your time together, don't waste it with petty arguements!
The bottom line: If you can't let your differences go, and they are important to you, be prepared to give up the relationship. And be glad you found out now, befor you've been married for 10 years, 2 kids, and a 30 yr. mortgage.
|
|
i didnt know what to put this under but...Does anyone know any tanning lotions for tanning beds that will make you darker faster and if so what is the best? Thanks! (link)
|
Ok, not the type of question I usually answer. I need to tell you 2 things.
1. Tanning is terrible for your skin. Tanning beds really aren't much better than the sun. Be very carefull, and watch your moles, freckles, ect.
2. Since your probably going to tan any way, try Rage. It's by far the very, very best I've ever used. And it's not as expensive as some of the others.
The bottom line: Tan responsibly. It's not just cosmetic. It's a health issue.
|
Hello,
I have a problem. I'm conservative and the guy i liked is shy. So what do I do? Will I be the one to do the first move? But i'm a girl and its not proper for a girl to do the first move with boys and they say it could make a boy turn off. (link)
|
Wow! I think this is the first time I've heard some one say it's not proper to ask a guy out. It is as proper for us to ask them as it is for them to ask us out.
If your really uncomfortable asking for a date, you could invite him to some thing undateish. What you invite him to is up to you, but it should reflect both your interests.
If he is turned off by your independance, be glad you found out now! Run far and fast.
When you ask someone out your paying them a compliment, and if he's a nice guy, he'll probably be happy you asked even if he's not interested.
The bottom line: It's appropiate to ask a boy out. It's sad to be so shy that your alone. Pick one.
|
|
what are some topics to talk about with a boy you just met besides the basics? it's getting kind of boring talking to him. (link)
|
Some people are naturally shy. Is your friend? That can cause a lot of difficulty before you get to know each other.
Another possibility is that he views you in a more casual way. In that case, the basic subjects are probably most appropiate.
If your still interested in livening up you conversations, here are a few pointers.
1. Take you cues from him. Is he wearing anything that might clue you into his intrests? Or carrying something like an MP3 or skate board? Asking about some ones hobbies are a sure way to get them talking.
2. Talk about yourself! Where did you spend your last vacation? What do you like to do? Movies, books, music, are all old hat. Try talking about Some thing more personal. But not too personal!
3. If all else fails, talk to him about your favorite web sites. Like Advicenators!
The bottom line: Conversatin is an Art. It takes practice. If he doesn't warm up to you, maybe you should find some one more interesting to talk to.
|
well my dads birthday is coming up and im not sure what to get him. hes in his 40s and when we ask him what he wants he always says you dont need to get me anything. i dont want to spend alot of money and i what to get him something that is useful to him. he really likes sports and stuff. i would like to get him something at a local mall or something rather than take him somewhere because im only 15 and can't drive or anything. my max price is around $20.
please help me my dads bday is in less than 2 weeks (link)
|
It can be very hard to buy a gift for a person who wont tell you what they want! My dad is the same way, and it drives me bonkers!
You have several choices. You could get him a gift certificate for a pay-per-view sports event. Or a book or video on his favorite sport. You could buy a tv tray and fill it with snacks and beverages to share. But my very best advise would be to have your picture made and framed. Every Dad loves pictures of their children.
The bottom line: If your able to say "Dad, I'm buying you a gift no matter what, so tell me what you really want!", you can stop the guessing game.
|
|
i've had this friend with benefits for almost a year now and i decided that i dont want to keep it going. i started having feelings for him and i told him but i don't think he liks me. i think it would be better to just end it because i dont want to get hurt so i wanted to know if anyone has some advice on a good way to end being fwb without ruining our friendship (link)
|
There are two kinds of relationships. The ones that work, and the ones that don't. As a fwb, your relationship worked. I seriously doubt the friendship can be saved once "the benefits" stop. Expect more from your lovers,you deserve a man who "likes you"!
The bottom line: Don't settle for less than you need. If you can't get it from him, there are plenty of other men who would be happy to treat you right!
|
|