Member Since: February 1, 2014
Answers: 4
Last Update: February 8, 2014
Visitors: 620
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here goes.
I am in my 20s, had relationships with guys and very much enjoyed them and plan to keep enjoying.
One niggling thing has got me very confused. One particular girl has me questioning my sexuality.
We met working together and thought her to be a kind, open person from the beginning. I admired her passion.
I noticed the way I acted around her. At first I believed it to be admiration of her work ethic and the effort she would pour in her work.
Started to overly look forward to going to work if i knew she would be there. Did my best to make her laugh if I thought her stressed, would always be aware where in the room she was, like 'pulling focus' on her, everything else faded in the background.
So i thought - i have a girl crush on her. I have known many straight girl friends have similar crushes with others so tried not to think about it too much.
We're now pretty good friends.
It is driving me slightly crazy. I have known her now for over 4 years been through a lot together and those feelings have not changed one bit. If anything as the friendship continues its making me love more about her. My heart breaks when she is upset. When shes angry, angry at me, bossy, patronizing, nothing changes.
Everyday things remind me of her, a certain time, place, discussion we talked about. I dream about her.
I repeatedly get those oh so cheese butterflies in the stomach when we meet. it is ridiculous!!
I don't get like this very often, a few times, all with men.
She is probably the most straight girl I know and have been on many a nights out with her, where we both, met and hooked up with guys.
Have to control the level of happiness I feel when i am around her in case i give anything away. And i do have to check myself because I don't want to jeopardize this friendship.
To make things more complicated: in the many years we chatted about anything and everything including crushes/unrequited loves. I have not been able to help myself in explaining how i felt about a 'certain' person to her.
This is a big part of the dilemma, the one person I would tell I cant because its about her!!! Such a cliche i know!!
I have come close to saying everything, she is bright, with enough hints she would get it. She has said on numerous occasions since that I could say anything to her and she would still be my friend. Even gave me a choice of answers, for me to not have to explain myself and just be done with it: a)getting serious with a guy [was involved with at the time] b) I'm Pregnant c) I'm Gay d)other
I know that if i turned around and said i was gay she would not care. Many of her best friends are gay and so has no problem with it at all.
Again the issue is more complicated then that. I don't think i am Gay, I like men too much!
My biggest fear is If i told her i might be bi and the reason is because of how i feel about her. She will awkwardly stay friends with me, drift apart till there is no friendship anymore.
I value this friendship too much.
My age tells me I cant reason it out as a 'hormonal/puberty curiousness'
from vary recently, we no longer work together, i thought that might alleviate things. Not seeing her for longer then a week, Stop the build up of affection I have for her. Doesn't work. After a month or so yes. As i rationalize how stupid my putting her on a pedestal is. Same way as people filter memories making them better then they really where.
So I think yeah no problem, reality will bring everything down, she cant have that much of an effect on someone. Turns out the first glimpse of her is enough to knock that logic over.
The issue broadens when I worry she thinks my unrequited love is a guy we both work with. She has told me many times she fancies him and for me to not give the name of my crush away and somewhat avoiding meeting her up for drinks if we are both free (though it kills me) could give her the impression I'm trying to hide my liking him and distancing her and as a result make our friendship less strong. which is the last thing i want. Ahhh!!
I dont know what to do with it all!! Keeps buzzing around my brain, many sleepless night.
Any advise welcomed (link)
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I think you have to tell her honestly what you're feeling about her. There are two possible result when you told her your feelings, either she will keep a distance from you or she will accept your feelings. The second one is good but the first is worse I know. You could choose, lost her because you're not telling her the truth or lost her because you told her the truth. Which is which????
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I am recently 15, and I have felt emotionless on and off for 4 years. The longest I have not felt emotions was about a year and a half. Sometimes its short periods. Its not that I just think that I don't feel emotion, it's that I actually don't. I have felt emotion before, but it's almost as if its stopped. I want to feel something, I feel as if I'm a walking statue. Can someone help me find some answers on why this may be happening? (link)
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The real question is are you really feeling nothing or you choose too feel nothing? As a teenager, we face many explainable things. I don't know what have you experience but feeling numb/ choosing to be numb is your mind's choice. I am currently 19, and the truth is, me too felt what you're feeling right now. Its scary but I, we have too face it. try to think when did it first happen and why. You will surely find some answer. But again to be safe,everybody will suggest that you have to see a psychologist.
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Hi everyone, id appreciate that if the person reading this would understand my points of views, my decisions and to try to understand how I think. Me and this guy really hit it off, we've been good friends for about 4 months and 2 of those months we started dating. We had intense chemistry, it was insane..we'd talk about how weird it is that we both feel so strongly about one another in such little time and how were shocked that we got close so easily. Now i know that some people believe that 2 months isnt a long time, and your right its not but this expirence taught me that no matter how little time you had with someone, sometimes 2 months can have more of an impact on both your lives than 2 years. What happened was that he was really affectinate and loving in the begining of our relationship, then he randomly stopped calling or being as sweet with me. I wont get into details because i dont feel its neccasary, he just randomly called me asking me to meet him cause he wanted to talk, so i said okay and went then he tells me he isnt happy, he feels like we arent sweet with eachther anymore Ofcourse i let him know that its his fault, and that im the one whos always trying to be cute and call and do and say sweet things but he never budges (which is completely true) so then i asked him this : I was like, "Do you love me, or do you just have some feelings for me, because i really do love you, a lot" then he was like "Look i have feelings for you for sure, but im not crazy about you, i think your more inlove with me than i am with you thats for sure" Honesty is the best policy, and i dont blame him for being honest, HOWEVER i am not the kind of girl that can be with someone that i love more or care for more, someone who believes he has the upper hand in the relationship ( and he has shown me that he thinks he does in many ways) so i ended it, i told him that i dont deserve that and that i should be loved in the same amount in return, why should i love someone any less? and why should he be with someone that he wants to feel more for? it makes no sense to me. Our break up wasnt terrible, we were both sad. But i made sure he knew that my dignity was above everything else and that no matter how much i love him, ill always love myself enough to walk away from anything that i feel isnt fair to me. He contacted me after a few days (4 to be exact) asking how i was, i said i was fine and he said he was great and the conversation just ended. You guys, i am so inlove with him i cant even explain, i dont know what to do or how to act anymore, i dont even know what hes thinking or have an idea about it, im really hurt and would love some guidance, please tell me what i should do? do you think him seeing how strong i am and independent will make him think twice ? Thank you all for reading this and please no harsh judgement :) (link)
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I admired your braveness. I agree to what you did. The truth is we have different preferences in love. some, like you and your man prefer someone who loves you more than themselves. I am glad that you are not one of those girls who are too martyr that they forget to love themselves and in the end being left without anything. Keep it up, I know how you feels. You love him too much, yes but remember, love could fade in time.
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So, my dad went to prison 14 years ago (unrelated to any of this) and just got out last month. He's made attempts to contact me and my brother; we both decided to have dinner with him and have already done that.
My sister, for many years, has said that our dad molested her for years. None of this was investigated, there were no witnesses, it's all on her word.
It's an awful situation. I feel a huge loyalty to my sister, I love her so much obviously. I can only imagine what it'd be like, the betrayal to see your bothers do that to you and be around your molester. However, no one knows this actually happened, and I feel like it'd be unfair to cut my dad out of my life because of my sister's, well frankly, accusations.
I don't know what to do. Nothing was ever proven but why would someone lie about that?
Any advice on the subject would be much appreciated
thanks (link)
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...well I could give you two different answers. It could be to believe in your sister who you have been or choose to believe in your father who you never been with for 14 years. They will both be hurt in the end. I think, you don't really believe in your sister, maybe you never really knew her at all. As for your father, how much do you know him? I know how much you want to meet him.
Maybe it is also your selfish needs that you cannot believe your sister. She could be right after all but I think the question is, WHAT IF SHE"S TELLING THE TRUTH????? God has reasons why your father went to jail...
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