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July 10, 2006Answers:
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I feel like I am ready to have sex with my boyfriend. My problem is that I was raped and thats how I really lost my virginity. This would be my real first time and I dont want to be nervous or bad at it sense my boyfriend is experianced.
first question: How can I stop my nerves
second question: How can I make it romantic and nice for him. making love not just sex.
and any other advice you have.
thank you
babe, of course you will be nervous. everyone is their first time. what you eed to do is talk to him. i know it sounds dumb and corny but it's what i did. and hun, i was raped my first time to. by my boyfriend at the time. i didn't consent i was only 13. but you move on and you feel comfortable once again with yourself. you need to sit your boyfriend down and explain to him that you really want it to be romantic and you love him but your really nervous. if he truly cares he will understand and he'll take it slow. just talk about it, if you're thinking right now that you can't talk to him, clearly you are not ready. just take my words and think about it. hope i helped babe.
I'm an 18 year old female, living on the East Coast. My friend Jake is 22, living in Oregon. He is suicidal. Is there anything I can do to help?
I've known him for about 4 years. He has been suicidal since he was 10, apparently - that's 12 whole years of "depression". He just came back from the Jop Corps last week for his summer vacation, so yesterday was my first time speaking to him in 10 months. ALLL he would talk about is getting his hands on some tough drugs and then going to the "train tracks", if you know what I mean.
How do I help him? His complaints are pretty much the usual stuff. His family hates him, no one loves him, he doesn't have a girlfriend and now that he is 22 he will never have kids. For years, I've been trying to help him, trying to comfort him, trying to make points where I feel I can. But oh no, nothing works, because.... "no one loves me". When he says that, it actually insults me. What, have four years of my time meant nothing to him? Isn't there only so much a person can do?
I almost blame myself for not being able to help him. I can not contact his friends or family, because I have zero connection to them. He doesn't live with his parents, so there's no address I can find. He only has a cell phone, so that says that. And I don't even know his parents names, or friends, for that matter. I have zero way to get him help.
I know this isn't about me, but I'm losing my patience here. He is seriously stressing me out. I try and try and try, but I am never good enough. What, does he like being this way, or something? Could he secretly enjoy his lifestyle? Could I have a major attention whore on my hands, rather than a suicidal man?
He is also compulsive liar, which doesn't help anything. I'm thinking his other friends (the ones he doesn't have, according to him), probably assume that if he hasn't done away with himself in 12 years, he will never have the guts. That may be true, but I am not willing to write something like a death threat off, I'm sorry... because I know there is always a breaking point.
I consulted a few of my friends, and of course I heard the same thing every time, "Why do you bother talking to him? Oh, I wouldn't talk to him. Screw that guy."
Only, I know that wouldn't contribute anything to his well-being. Right?
I guess what I'm trying to ask is, at what point should I disconcern myself, if ever? And what more can I do to help him? Trying to help somebody who doesn't want to help themselves, is usually a failure before the process even commences...
babe, in all honesty, i can completely relate to your friend. luckily i have some of the greatest friends in the world helping me through this. you sound absolutely wonderful and if you really want the truth here it is, your friend may have, at one point been close to the edge. maybe once, twelve years ago. but a person cannot stay suicidal for so long. contemplating suicide is a mental disease. it cannot just sit and dwell it needs to be dealt with. i honestly think he saw how much attention you gave him and he longed for it.again and agian. your friend, like me, is insecure and probaly doesn't feel loved, he is not suicidal. he just wants so badly to feel love. he gets that from you and he is scared of losing you so he keeps up the whole i'm suicidal act so that he is constantly reassured that you love and care for him. hun, i did similar things.you need to sit down and talk with him. explain that you know he's not suicidal, that he just needs to feel loved, he'll deny it of course. i did for the first few onths but deep down he'll know it's true. explain to him that you will ALWAYS be there for him, but tell him that the way he is making you feel is unfair and it is affecting you. if he cannot help himself then you need to get out of his life because people like that will only bring you down hun. if you wanna chat email me...riotangel_13@hotmail.com my name's jes. hope i was helpful
my name is Rachel and iam 17 years old and just here lately i've been real tired and hungry all the time and I havn't been doing anything to cause me being tired all the time like yesterday I was asleep all day from 12:00 untill 10:00pm what could be causing this and how can I stop it?
Iam really worried is this anything I should be worried about?
honestly hun, the problems lies in your sleeping. you said you slept for ten hours. from non until ten pm. there is such thing as over sleeping. and especially if you don't normally sleep at those times for that AMOUNT of time. you need to get into a regular pattern of sleep and your hunger will stop aswell as your drowsiness.
i love my best friend to death and I REALLY dont want to disobey her trust. see a while ago she told me all this stuff about how she has another world she can escape 2 and sometimes she feels like she doesnt know who she is. she sometimes even, she says, forgets her name. shes already tried talking to her parents and a therapist, and her parents have tried giving her pills. all of it, she says, just make her feel worse, like shes insane. she has a lot of friends, gets good grades, in whole leads a very normal life and acts perfectly normal. we didn't mention this for a while, but over the weekend i went down with her family to the beach. saturday night she started randomly dancing in the sand, running and spazzing randomly all over the place, inchined way to close to the firework display just so, as she put it, she could be close to the sea, and wrote the name's of random people we no in the sand. all of this is very unlike her, and i at the time half-jokingly asked her "if she was here as herself" she wudnt answer me for a while and then very quietly said "who else would i be" and then wouldnt answer any more questions. later that night i asked what was going on and she wouldnt tell me. one of our other friends was there, who doesnt no everything i no and said shes fine stop overreacting. iasked her if she "promised" she was fine (promise is our trust word) and she wouldnt promise. i tried talking her into talking to me cuz i just wanted to help, I didnt want her to go through whatever it was alone. she wouldnt say anything. the next morning everything was back to normal. i dont know what to do and i cant tell anyone because i REALLY REALLY REALLY cant betray her trust like that. please help.
okay hun, if it's affecting you this much, and it obviously is. you know what i would do? speak to your school councellor. they are not allowed to tell ANYBODY, ANYTHING unless they think YOU are in trouble. so they will listen offer advice and if you want they can help your friend. they can offer her doctors to see, to talk to. they can offer her parents people to talk to. and most importantly you. she needs help and she will thankyou one day.