ViRuZ's advice column

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Q: i am now 14 and am a girl. When i was 13 i became bulemic which led to me cutting i cut for almost 8 months. I stopped for a while, then started again. then my bf marc got me to stop btu then he randomly dumped me, then him and his friend molested me wen he was drunk but then i had seex with him by choice 2 days after he starts going out with another girl and doesnt care about wat he did to me. I was a virgin and havign sex for the first time was a big deal to me and he knew that and i chose him but now he betrayed me and used me, im cutting again and i dont kno how to stop. I jus feel so useless and hurt i dont know wat to do. . .

For one dont let him be the center of your life. Yea i understand that you made a big mistake and its something you cant take back =/...but what is life if we dont learn from our mistakes. Just try to forget that person as much as possible. Try hanging out with friends, and start dating again. Things that would take your mind off him. Honestly if he went so low to take what was most valuable to you and not care afterward than he doesnt know what he had in you. You should never make a guy more valuable than what you are. You should be the center of attention in your eyes. So dont let this person ruin your life. But try doing activities like sports, arts, try writing things down, things like this can help take your mind off him and can help with your cutting problem.

Hope this helps, yours truly ViRuZ =P

Q: ok so i have this friend and he is really nice like you have no idea how sweet he is but anyways,
i think i love him and he knows i know like him but he doesnt want a girlfriend and i know he doesnt bc his best friend told me that he wouldnt go out with anybody unless he really liked the person but the thing is he wants to go to the movies w/ me and make out and finger me, i want to too but idk wat to think about how he feels about me
wat do you think?
wat should i do?
do you think it is stupid of me to go to the movies w/ him?

This question is pretty tough i mean you need to be careful and wonder if kissing and fingering is all this guy wants. It can go both ways like if you really like him and he seems to like you too then you go to the movies. But in my opionin if he's not your BF then you be careful what you do with him because you dont want him to think anything about you such as that you're easy or something else. But hey life is about taking chances, so would say to go to see what there really is between you two, but just take not of what you really think he's really interested in.

hope this helped =]

Q: hey. Ive been with my boyfriend for just over 5 months and i have NO idea what to get him. i love him and want to get him something special.

Any ideas possible would be great thanks :]

and he's not into cars and stuff hehe.

Thanks :]
x x x

You can try asking him to see what he may want. Most likely he wont answer you and say dont get him anything. Thats what ill say anyways. But if he does say this try to get some1 to help you like one of his close friends or family memebers to get ideas from him of what he may want. If anything buy him a nice colon, or maybe some clothes.

Hope this helped ;]

Q: Okay so last year I fell in love.. and ended up dating my first love for 1 year. We broke up mostly because we spend too much time together and he "wanted to spend time with other girls". This was in june... we didn't talk all summer and he ended up getting a girlfriend around september. Of course this bothered me to see him with another girl & I wasn't completely over him either...but I spent time with my friends and didn't think about him. I decided I needed a boyfriend to stop thinking about him so I started dating someone...and soon I get a message from my ex (my first love) saying he misses me and wants to be friends. I was totally for it, but it lasted for about 3 days. We havn't talked in about a week .. and i'm really confused in what that was all about. Does anyone have any idea why he hasn't talked to me? Does he want to get back together?

Yea this actually happened to me some what. Like i had really fallen in love with my Ex, and we broke up because she moved to Jersey. But i wanted so bad to stay friends with her, and i tried it for a while, but it was pretty hard. Like in the back of your head you're remembering everything that happened between you two. Eventually things got awkward, and we stopped talking =/...but you never know maybe he felt the same as i did. Things got awkward and he didnt know how to handle the situation. But dont think about it to much, maybe he's just screwing with your mind now, seeing that you have a new guy in your life. Just continue your life with your new BF and your friends, and let him live his life. If it's meant for ya to talk or get back together or something then somewhere along the road it will happen.

Hope this helped =]

Q: so i really like this guy and he really likes me. and when i talk to guys or basically just like mention a guy he doesnt know, he will get jealous. and if i talk to someone he doesnt normally talk to, like on AIM, he starts talking to them too. that part makes me a little mad, but whatever. but lately, ive been looking on his facebook and myspace and there's this girl .... thats definately flirting with him. and in his AIM profile, she is in it. but he flirts with so many girls and i dont know if he realizes it, but it seems like they like him because of the way they flirt, and he flirts back. and this girl was moved from not even on his myspace top friends, to wayyyy up on his top friends. and this one comment she sent him on myspace was "i lovee you too" which means he said i love you first. and its making me really upset because i dont want to lose him, or for him to do things with her, like kiss her or something.

Honestly you shouldnt worry about him. If he had any feeling for you i believe that he would've came forward with it and tell you. One thing you should always know is that you shouldnt let any guy stress you. Guys now a days like to play with girls minds, and by the way you described this situation is seems as if he's playing games with you. Like he gets all protective if you start talking to other guys but yet he can talk to girls. I mean that isnt really fair in my eyes. So dont worry about it so much if he's so interested in other girls then he isnt worth your time. Always remember make youself more valuable than the guy, and this would give you power in a relationship. And show him what he's missing by not being with you. also remember there plenty of other guys in the world dont get stuck on just one.

Hope this helped =]

Q: My boyfriend fingered me in the butt hole. It kind of freaked me out. . . is this normal for a guy to do?

Yea it's normal for guys to do this if it's what they interested in. Some guys/girls like this and others dont. If this wasnt such a good experience for you then you should let him know how you feel. He should understand if he truly cares about you.

Hope this helped =]

Q: if its ur first time having sex and you bleed, how much blood will it be?

Well i cant really say for sure honestly but from my experience the girl never did bleed, but from what i've heard by friends they said that if they did it wasnt alot. So im guessing either there will be little or no blood at all.

Q: ok so i met this guy online and we got on really well so we decided to meet up. we had been alkin about a year and we met up 3 months ago. problem is, when we met i was just not attracted to him. we are still really good friends and we have spoken every day since we met up and i meet up with him every weekend.

i have really strong feelings for him and i think i might be in love with him...but again, im not attracted to him at all.
is that possible?

He said to me tonight that he thinks we should cool it for a while and not talk because he's afraid that he might like me more down the line, which would do neither of us any good because it isnt gonna go anywhere. i dont know if he was just saying that to see what id say or if he actually meant it.

i dont wanna lose him but i dont think i will be able to not talk to him whenever i want to. i know that he has strong feelings for me too but i think that he IS attracted to me!

what do i do???

Umm in my opinion i think it is possible to fall in love with someone and not be attracted to them. This is so because you're falling in love for who he is and not what he looks like which is good. Many people make the mistake of falling for a person's look and not for who that person is, and usually it would end up being a mistake. But that what i would have to say on it. That the way i have fallen in love by who the person is and i dont care so much about looks. A person can look good but be a horrible person. But try taking things one step at a time and dont assume you love him. You should try hanging out with him more, and really think about what love is to you and if he fits your discription. But you should also consider going out with the person, which would make things more inerestting and would give you a better idea of how the person is as a BF.

Q: I have major feelings for a close friend I've had for about a little less than a year. We are very close but theres one problem - we've never spent any real time together. We met bc his brother goes to my school and my friend USED to like him [shes now dating my ex-boyfriend]. What are ways that I can bring the subject of going out somewhere together up?

Well I know how you feel, it's not easy confessing your crush but you should always try. If he's a close friend then you try being honest and talking to him about your crush on him. Hopefully he'll give you an honest answer and won't lead you on or mess with your head. No matter what though if worst comes to worst and he doesn't feel the same as you do, then don't let that interfere with your friendship and you should continue being friends. Now to ask him out should come after you tell him how you feel. Most likely if you bring up the subject of you two going out he might think like what's going on here. But if anything just act cool, and confident, and just bring up the subject as if it were any other conversation between you two, and slip in the question oh we should hang out someday. Then plan the day.

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I am a well rounded person who gets along with everyone. I am here to help anyone who seeks it =]. Im open to any, and all questions but as my categories state I'm a specialist at love life, sex, and friendships. Any other imformation you wish to know about me don't be afraid to ask. I believe in trust so I say to build on trust we can share information about ourself. So I'll tell you honest answers about myself, and I hope you would to.