about

Hey advice givers, I'm Shyamali. But if you know me you can call me Shy. I love singing and the whole entertainment business. I have naturally black hair but I lightened it to brown. I have brown eyes & I'm about 5"4' & reasonably thin. I'm East Indian & Half Italian. If you want to talk to me then please contact me at Shyamalisings@yahoo.com, not here. I don't want to fill up my advice column with talking to other people. I love to sing and I was born on January 1, back in '87 so my zodiac sign is Pisces. I'm in a relationship right now and I'm excited to get started on my advice column! By the way, I am not Shyamali Malakar. I am a fan of her and her brother-- that's all.

advice

13/f

i feel like nothing can cure this sickness i've been having for almost a year or so. I've went to the doctor multiple times. I get:

-queezy
-the food i eat comes back up my throat
-semi-soft feces =P
-if i dont eat i get dizzy and tired
-my stomach is constantly upset
-i get lots of headaches
-i have a hard time breathing
-and my bones and muscles ache alot

do anything to help me.

i'm on meds. but i dont think they will work.

help. please. before i die.

The dizziness, queeziness, and headaches & when your bones are weak means you have low blood sugar. Which means you need to eat. Like a cup of soda and a chocolate bar - anything just to increase the level. But I don't know what the rest of it is...
Have you been smoking or something?
Because that can make it hard to breathe.
Do you have asthma? If so, there are treatments to take. I think you need to see a different doctor maybe...
Take care! I hope you feel better :]
Cherish,
Shyamali

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ok so i have this really big crush on this guy thats in my class, tomorrow is the last day of school and hes moving to another country over the summer, i want to kiss him so bad but it would be awkward, i like him so much but i dont know his phone number and i want him to know that i like him
please help!!!

p.s. im 13, so is he =]

help fast, i need it by tomorrow
thanks in advance

You're not going to know him in 10 years time, and you didn't mention ever talking to him so I wouldn't... that sounds a little boy crazy XDD I think it's absolutely amazing on how many girls come onto this website to find out if a guy likes them back, there's more to life than having a boyfriend, you know! But anyway, you should kiss him if you want to that bad.
You only go around once.
Besides, he's moving to another country...
Do it before it's too late
That way he'll remember you in 10 years time if you don't still keep in touch.
Cherish,
Shyamali

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okay theres this girl in my class. ive known her since this year and shes okay i guess.. oh yeah im 13 and a girl too. im not really friends with her but we sit at the same lunch table so we talk occasionally. i used to think she was okay, until one day she just changed. well it kinda progressed to her changing.. i only see her at lunch and special periods. first in the year we had music and i liked her and we usually partnered together. next was art and we were at diff tables. she sat at a table with alot of the cool popular people.. maybe that affected her? like soon after that its like she was trying to make herself be something.. she just wasnt before. its like she is so fake i hate it. then soon she got a new haircut and she keeps flipping it all the time.. and the way she acts its like too overly nice and shes trying to be cool i think but i'd rather her just be the girl from before. and then she acts all nice and stuff.. like now in homec thats what she does, but at lunch like once i asked if i could borrow a little hand sanitizer and she was all like "no!" and like pretty meanly. it was just a little sanitizer and it was hanging from her bag.. yeah thats pretty sad i couldnt even borrow a little. and like its like shes trying to act like shes superior to other people and would just seem like.. UGHH i dont wanna be around her! but shes in my home ec group and if shes not in our group she will have nobody else so we have to have her!!! DOUBLE ughhhhh. HELP. PLEASE.

This is simple. All of the popular girls & guys end up being the backstabbers in the end, do you really think they want to be friends with her? No. They don't; the reality is, everyone changes themselves to look cool to win other's approval... but they make an unforgettable mistake when they do that, and that's punishment enough. Just don't talk to her, don't hang around her. But you don't really know her so... why do you care so much? I really think you should just calm down about this whole situation. She's not losing you, and you're not losing her... she's losing herself. She will realize soon enough that those popular girls and guys will backstab her and lie and whatnot. And you not being involved will teach her that lesson. After they've taken their toll on her, just be merely an aquaintance to her. You don't have to be friends with her, just be civil. Don't worry, she'll learn her lesson. But what really strikes me as a bit odd is that you are so consumed in the fact that you're losing her friendship when as you've described it, you don't even know her. I don't mean to be rude, but you should stay out of her business. This happens to everyone in life, relax! Do you really think that she's going to know you 10 years from now? What's her favorite movie? What's her favorite band? What's her favorite color? What's her favorite show? What's her favorite food? If you answered NO to the majority of the questions - you don't know her very well. You're not losing anyone so you're okay. 'Kay? :D This isn't a life altering decision for either of you :]
Cherish,
Shyamali

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My "friend" and I were freinds for a long time, but then all of a sudden she started acting all differant when we went to new schools. She doesnt talk to me and when she does, she is only there to accuse me of talking behind her back or accusing me of making fun of her, or accusing me of judging her, which i am not. She is always drinking and always smoking, and always wrapped up in her new friends. I dont want to be her friend, but i dont want to make things awkward between us...i mean the other day she accused me of talking smack about her on the bus, and asked me via. comment on myspace. but in the bitchiest way possible. I repeat, i dont want to be freinds with her, but i just want to make things between us not hateful and wishing the other were dead, sick, etc...whenever i pass her in the hall she glares at me evily. so please help

Don't be friends with her. You said it all when you said you didn't want to be. She sounds like a really bad influence to you, and if you still spend time with that girl & her friends, you could turn the same way. You don't want that, do you? Breaking off the friendship & living a happy life is better than taking the risk of ruining it just to impress her or save your friendship, who cares if it's awkward? After a while you won't keep in touch or see each other anymore. Maybe it's best if you don't even tell her you don't want to be her friend. Just don't talk to her anymore & see what happens.
Cherish,
Shyamali

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So, I have been best friends with these two girls for a long time. They were never friends with eachother though. Now this year, they did softball together and they got really tight. I'm not jealous of it because they're my best friends, but they way they've been presenting it has gotten really annoying. They always talk about things they've done together that I wasn't involved in and they just brag about it. Sometimes they don't even tell me what they are talking about so when I ask them, they ignore me. Then Sarah (friend #1) started to talk about me behind my back about how I'm so shy and I never go to parties. Lately, it's been getting me so mad that I feel like not being friends with them because they just seem so fake to me. They were never like that though until they were friends with eachother. There's only one friend I have who I just started hanging out with this year who I can talk to about this. She can relate to everything so she's becoming one of my really good friends. I have other friends too, it's just that Ashley (friend #2) and Sarah seemed to be my best best friends and we plan to be friends forever, but now I feel like she doesn't even like me. I don't really know what kind of advice to ask for, but I just need some help on how to deal with this.

I don't really want to stop being friends with them though, so that's the only problem. Ashley is barely a problem, but when she's with Sarah, she starts to act differently. Sarah just makes me mad at almost everything she says and does. She like, a whore too. I don't know. Please help. Thankksss!

You can't be friends with people you're mad at all the time. It's just not any fun. Usually when someone meets a new person, they try to meet up to their standards more than yours because they both feel you'll accept them either way. But since they don't know each other on the same levels, they act like the other person. Sounds like Ashley's the culprit here, and Sarah is trying to keep the friendship by bashing hers with yours. If you stop hanging out with them for a little while, they might get the hint. & Saying that you're shy and never go to parties, isn't really much of an insult, so don't be too offended over little things. Hopefully if they really care, they'll notice you've stopped hanging around them and talk to you. Whether it's together or separately. Start spending more time with that other girl you mentioned.
Cherish,
Shyamali

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my bf and i hav been dating for 2weeks but we've only hugged 3 times and talked twice THERES SOMETHING WRONG!!
how do i tell him he needs to at least try without being a bitch?

You don't tell him, you just start talking to him more. Eventually, he'll adapt and take after it. Hopefully he'll feel more open about his opinions or concerns with you and you'll become closer. So to be fair, you have to try, too. The relationship needs to have some feelings come from both sides, not just one. So if you're making all the effort to be around him, you're not being a bitch. And there's no way you can possibily say, "We need to spend more time together" being a bitch, because it's just telling him you want to get to know him better :]
Cherish,
Shyamali

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I am getting my cartilage pierced this monday & i need some tips
-does it hurt?
- should i ice it on the way there?
- any stories or things i should know?
thanks, im very nervous and i hate needles lol

Well it's different for everyone.
THere's this one girl that got hers done and her ears hurt for two years in the cartilage area! But I've also met other people that barely felt anything. The ears (not the cartilage) doesn't really hurt all that bad, it only hurts for a few minutes and it's definitely worth it.
Cherish,
Shyamali

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theres this song i hear on the radio frequently and it starts off as

badadada badadada badadada da da da take a look at my girlfriend...etc

whats the name of the song

Cupid's Chokehold - Gym Class Heroes
Cherish,
Shyamali

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Okay, so Jordin Sparks (my personal fave) won American Idol last night.

While I think Jordin is certainly a better singer than Blake Lewis, I think Blake is a better all-around entertainer.

Who do you think should have won?

(I'm just trying to get opinions here.)

I think they are both very good singers, but I think Jordin has a better voice. Blake is a much better entertainer and I think he should have won for that. They both deserved it, but I think Blake should've won. Jordin does have an amazing voice, but Blake was much more original and that's what the competition is really about. With the beatboxing and everything. & Jordin isn't likely to put out music that I'd be interested in, really. She seems like she would make music that isn't very modern. But she deserved it.
Cherish,
Shyamali

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i need some serious pumpy songs. like things that make you get pumped. I need as many as you know for a basketball camp i'm going to in a few days. ANYTHING will be greattttt.

Sandstorm - Darude
Get Ready For This - Crazy Frog
Money Maker - Ludacris
Miracle - Cascada
Umbrella - Rihanna featuring Jay-Z
Shake Ya Tailfeather - Nelly & Murphy Lee
Get Busy - Sean Paul
Straight Up - Sean Paul
Get Low - Lil Jon & Eastside Boyz
All Around The World - ATC
I Like The Way You Move - Bodyrockers
Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne
Cherish,
Shyamali

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hey!!
so i just herd this sing in the radio, but i didnt hear who the artist or the song was.. it sounds kinda like rihanna?? so i remembered some of the lyrics soo if you could help that would be great..

now that its raining more than ever
we will still have each other so..
under my arm forever..

im pretty sure that those are almost word for wods lyrics.. sorry but thats all i can remember.. it sounds kinda like rihanna??

thx sooo much in advance!!

~abbey

It's called Umbrella by Rihanna featuring Jay-Z.
Cherish,
Shyamali

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Last year, one of my best friends, Diane, (we aren't friends anymore) told me that my other friend, Rachel, was just using a guy. She said Rachel told her that she just wanted to be popular and that she wanted him to buy her things, but she really didn't like him. Now the guy that she was going out with ... he was my best friend. So of course, I told him. Except he wouldn't believe me unless I said I was the one who heard her say it, so I just said that. They ended up breaking up. BUT, this year he was homeschooled and same for his sister, so I never got a chance to tell him what I found out. Diane had liked him and she apparently has some jealousy issues and she made all of that up. He possibly could be going to my school next year, so how do I fix this? I mean, he might just say, "Well, you shouldn't believe everything you hear," and get mad at me. What am I supossed to say to the guy?

What makes you think you screwed up so bad? You made the right choice by telling him what was really going on, because you knew you'd feel bad if he found out on his own. When you go back to school, don't say anything to him. He will figure it out eventually, because she's not going to stay with him forever. He'll apologize if he thinks he should but right where the situation is standing now, there's really nothing more you can do.
Cherish,
Shyamali

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Okay. Theres this guy that i know. Were friends. he's 20, i'm 15.
About a month ago, I was on my period (I get really boy crazy on my period) and I had this dream where he kissed me, and I kissed him back, and when I woke up, my heart was all pounding and I was all lovey dovey. I guess I kind of liked him a little before that but I never really admitted it to myself, until then, where it all came out.
A couple weeks ago, my friends mom (who notices everything) told me that she thinks he likes me. She didn't really give me a good reason why, so i'm not saying its true, but the possibility really fired me up. So now i'm all crazy inside and thinking about him all the time.

Well I know he's wayy too old for me and even if he wasn't, i dont think im ready to date yet.
How can I get over it? Or just a way to realese all this crush-energy inside me [=

You're 15. He's 20.
The odds of you getting together are very slim, as a 5 year difference would be for most anyone. You have to realize that when you're a teenager and someone you have feelings for is five years older than you, the age difference lies bigger until you're older. He's too old for you is basically what I'm trying to say, and it's illegal for you two to date because of the age difference. Besides, when someone is that far ahead of you (age wise) they're also ahead of you mentally and may expect more from you sexually, mentally, and to make healthier decisions. A 20 year old has had a lot more experience than a 15 year old so he may get annoyed because you're so much younger and at that time, there's such a contrast between personalities etc. and I'm guessing you don't know who you are yet - when he's old enough to be in college! Believe me - he's not going to matter to you later.
Cherish,
Shyamali

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I bought this dress and everyone (my mom and auntie) says i look good in it...but i don't know if i should wear it to prom or not because i find it makes me look square...I'm kinda thick and it makes my boobs and stomach look the same side when really my boobs are bigger than my waist!
Help! I would post a picture but my photobucket isn't workin so if u want to see a pic you can send me a comment to send it to u. Please help! What should i do?

You should buy the dress to fit YOUR body, not the other way around. If your relatives say you look good in it, but you don't think so, it's important that you find something you think you look good in, not what someone else thinks. If you don't feel confident in that dress then don't buy it. Find something that fits your body that you're reasonably content with and wear it to the prom. Don't try to lose weight for the prom just to fit in a dress, okay?
Cherish,
Shyamali

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