Member Since: January 14, 2020
Answers: 9
Last Update: May 2, 2020
Visitors: 970
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Hi I don’t know so much about my desire to be under 90 lbs for the remainder of my life and I’m concerned I might be anorexic or worse and wanted to seek your advice on what could I possibly be facing. (link)
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Life is more than being under 90 pounds. Assess your total existence. Develop your Spiritual, Psychological, Sociological, and Physical being.
Use several resources such as internet, books, friends, family, community groups, school etc. to address your total being. Develop a plan(s) to address every aspect of your life. And place the plan(s) in a location that you can see daily, such as on your mirror.
Who are your spiritually? If Christian, I suggest reading from the New International Version (NIV) Bible. Look for groups with shared spiritual values
What Psychological skills do you have? Use the internet to search for reading regarding accepting your body.
What Social supports are in your life. Meet people and interact with people who are interested in other thing other than being 90 pounds. Are you dating?
Physical Though I admire the discipline of maintaining 90 pounds weight. I suggest you focus on being healthy clean and nice. Healthy, clean, nice and approachable people are the sexiest and longest living people in the world.
90 pounds for the rest of your life is not healthy
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so im not exactly the most confident person ever but there is this guy in my D&D group who i wanna be friends with but idk how to approach him without it being weird cause all we ever talk about is D&D and i wanna get to know him better cause hes a really cool guy but im not sure how to and im a little shy when it comes to making new friends especially when i already know the person a bit but idk how to go up to them and to make matters worse hes my boyfriend and girlfriends (yes i am in a polyamorous relationship and yes all three of us are dating each other) friend and they all go to the same school so its hard for me since they have a better connection than i do so it makes me even more anxious about it. any advice would really help...... (link)
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Go for it. Tell him how you feel. Suggest lets get to know one another better and see what develops. You to may discover one another. Dating one another may become more desirable than D&D. Only the future can tell
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I have been going through a really tough time. My serious relationship of 3 yeas ended. The guy ditched me just before marriage. This my 3rd relationship failure. I'm 32. People around me are getting married and kids. I don't have many friends. I'm alone ans cry everyday. My confidence is shaking. I don't hv anyone to share my deepest feelings. I regret many things in life. I feel anxiety thinking about
Read more: http://www.advicenators.com/qview.php?q=666294#ixzz6HK8mB7m2 (link)
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Having your partner of 3 years who drops you just before he marries is painful and wrong. It tells me more about him than you.
Sadly, there are users in this world who enjoy your love and immediate presence, then throws it away when they find other opportunities.
1. Though it is naturally painful. Don’t’ let this experience devalue you.
2. Don’t measure yourself by looking at others. Others may appear happy and successful. However, you don’t know what happiness or pain is occurring with others marriage and/or kids.
3. Regret and anxiety is your body’s way of asking you to make changes in your life. Think of specific ways and actions for you to avoid pain and pursue pleasure.
4. Develop a plan for growing:
Spiritual
Psychological
Social
Physical
Write your plan(s) and place it on the mirror so you can see it daily. Assess you plan(s) monthly and make adjustments to your plan(s) as needed
Examples:
FOCUS ON WHO YOU ARE AND WHO YOU WISH TO BECOME
Spiritual: Read from the New International Version (NIV) bible. It’s easier and more understandable read. Internet search for Christian groups and Christian literature
Psychological: Focus on learning tools for coping and living in our world. self-help books are a great resource. The Road Less Travelled and People of the Lie” by M. Scott Pec are terrific self-help books
Socially: Get out and meet people via internet sites, family and friends, and civic and church groups. Practice being friendly and approachable.
Physically: Keep yourself healthy and clean. The sexiest person is a healthy and approachable person.
Finally. Seek solace in your pain though your spirituality and slowly take on the challenge of living again. In the end you will reap good and better things. And you will one day see the painful lost of your partner was the best thing to happen to you.
Grace and peace and enjoy life!
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16 female. I'm openly lesbian, and my life is fine for the most part. Despite living in a small, conservative town that would probably fit the stereotype for being homophobic, I do just fine. In all areas except one: dating.
Tbh, being a lesbian feels pretty lonely. I've had a few gfs before, but none now. It feels like there's such a small population of lesbian and bi girls, then you narrow it down to people you'd actually like, then the ones who are single, then the ones who would like you...and there just isn't a dating pool.
And it feels like most of the LGBT stuff is so geared towards guys all the time, it annoys tf out of me that gay and bi men get their own bars and clubs all over the damn place, but girls have to just mingle in with the all-around "queer" spots. I'm too young to enter a bar, but that's besides the point. I feel like it's also a lot easier if you're a guy, to tell if another guy is gay and if he's flirting with you. Girls are very confusing.
I actually do know queer girls right now...one of them is a bi girl dating a guy who is also my best friend that I'd never see that way, a close friend of mine who I'm not attracted to, a girl who I might consider but I have no opportunity to talk to and I think she dislikes me for some reason, a girl who is not very pretty and kind of a bitch, a girl who's not my type and kind of a bitch, a girl I'm not attracted to and likes someone else, a girl who I think is bi but has a bf she genuinely likes, a girl who's ok looking and cool but also a dysfunctional pothead, this girl who's a total bitch and who hates me, a girl who I would 100% date but also has a gf, another dysfunctional pothead who gets suspended every other day, a girl I already dated and who has commitment issues, another dysfunctional drug addict I already dated, a girl who I dated and has no personality, these other 2 girls with no personalities and who are kind of bitchy, a girl who already rejected me, a girl with a gf and a bi girl with a bf (both of whom I'm not interested in), some girl who isn't interested in dating, and a girl who dated one of my closest friends. Not a good lineup.
My friends always tell me I should go online to do it, but I don't really like the idea of online dating. Idk. My mom says it'll be easier in college, but seems like a long time to wait.
How tf do I get a gf? (link)
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16 years old is too young to determine your sexuality for your entire life. Much of what you experience with a female, you can experience with a male. Enjoy and express your sexulity and date boys and girls your age. Enjoy your youth and sexuality. Date people your age who has a mutual attraction with you. You can decide your sexual identity when you are 20 to 30 years old.
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Okay, I'm in a master program in Scotland for physical therapy and there is this guy lets call him Wayne from Canada. Wayne and I didn't not talk much at the beginning of the year and then we got super close during a class trip in May. Since that trip we just clicked and connected and have been flirting with each other. Then one night have after our neuro final we all went out as a class (I drank a little too much😜) and that whole night he was all over me (dancing, drinking, close touching) and he even walked me home (interlacing hands the whole way) and he lives on the other side of town. Then I went on clinical placement, he went out of town for it and he came back to town and we all went out for a drink. That night, same thing, we talk in each's other personal space, I thought we were going to kiss. Then we went back to clinical placement and we snap chatted here and there. Then my girlfriends and I were planning a trip to Paris this November and Disneyland Paris and Wayne and his friend asked to join us. I said yes, whatever. Before this he asked me if I wanted to go Lyon in France to visit his friend and I said yes (I've been to Paris 3x, don't need to see the sights again). So the two of us go to Lyon, spend 2 hours on the train talking and flirting. We get to LYon, meet his friend, she's lovely, we all have a great time. So that night he and I share a sofa bed. And we spend literally 4 hours talking about everything and anything and eventually we kinda hooked up. Next day, we are completely fine, enjoy Lyon, but don't talk about us hooking up. Then we take a 2 hour trip back to Paris and were fine, talked the whole way. Then I tell my girlfriends all about it and we all agree for me to ask him out, like whatever, all the signs are there I guess. So we get to Disneyland (probably not the best idea) but I ask him and he says yes and no and does not want to mess our friendship? So then it was awkward. So I tell my girlfriends and they said maybe he is scared and whatever. So we get back to Scotland and I had a friend visiting from home and we all went out for drinks. And she's sees our chemistry too. So I texted Wayne, that I understood what he meant by no, but what was yes. He replies we'd talk once my friend went home. So my lovely friend Anna flies back to new york and Wayne texts if I still wanted to talk. I said yes. MOST POINTLESS CONVERSATION. Since he didn't even answer my question. He said we would work better as friends, and it would be awkward if we dated. I was okay but how? (mentally, I didn't say it out loud). So I just left it whatever. So my roommate and I hosted a Christmas dinner for our whole class and Wayne is there. So I'm fine with us being friends but I just need a little space between us, cuz my feelings won't disappear over night and I made it pretty obvious that I need space between us. Wayne proceeds to look at me all night, (as I see him at the corner of eye), ask me over to his place for a pizza night and today at trampoline (I'm on the team), joins the trampoline team and just wants to talk to me and my feelings about everything and proceeds to look at me and when I look at him, looks away. My girlfriends think its because I'm not Jewish (he is Jewish and his parents are adamant that he be with girl that is Jewish) and he scared cuz of something that might have happened before relationship wise. And thinks hat Wayne's next gf he is with, he wants its be end game. But what makes him think I don't want?!
Like this is not fair. I feel all these assumptions have been placed on me and I've honest with him on how I feel. It's like he is too chicken to tell me how he really feels but acts like this. Its messing with my head since I'm trying my best to move on and get to the point where we can be friends but he really isn't really making this easy with these mixed signals. HELP! (link)
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Dear "I'm pretty sure he likes me," Your friend may have a romantic interest in you, while believing you are not the one he would see himself marrying. This sexual tension often produces mixed messages and frustration between the involved parties. He has indicated he desires a friendship relationship and possibly friends with benefits. I would share I am looking for someone to build a life with move on. Date others and do not play his cat and mouse game of friends with benefits.
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Ok so I am 30 years old and I have been talking to this 41 year old guy that I met on plenty of fish. We have only been talking a little over 2 months . He has already met my mom and stepdad . He is a really good guy. The problem is my mom told my aunt and cousin about him and now they are saying they want to meet him already. I think 2 months is a little to soon for him to meet my whole family. U want to take things slow and not rush into anything. Is 2 months to soon for him to meet them . How will I know when the time is right ? Thank you. (link)
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Follow your heart. If you feel comfortable with the guy and enjoy your friendship and romance with the guy, then introduce him to the family. If you are not sure he is a keeper then wait to introduce him to the family. Enjoy your journey.
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a guy that i have a lot in common with likes me and i like him too. the thing is, my friend used to have a little crush on him. she never really fell for him because once she saw him around more she thought he was annoying. now she likes someone else and has no feelings left for the first guy. but you see over time i’ve started to like him more and it’s getting harder to ignore. i do know for sure that he likes me back. we walk in the halls during school and he’s very sweet to me. i just know he’s a very good guy and i have no doubt about that. everything about him is what i’ve been looking for, from his kind and funny personality, to his looks and charming attitude. what i don’t know is how to tell my friend that i like him and what she would think about that. and if she says i can’t like him, what do i do about that. so what i’m asking is should i go for it since the feelings are there or should i not even think about it because of my friend?
and for reference we are all in highschool, same age (link)
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Dear "should I pursue this guy, Yes! Enjoy life and pursue your desires. Go for it!
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in a heterosexual relationship. Just discovered my husband of 30 years is viewing gay porn for hours every morning on his laptop. Should I be worried? Should I confront him about this? (link)
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Dear "in a heterosexual relationship." Your husband viewing gay porn for hours every morning is a significant indicator that your husband has gay tendencies and/or gay preferences. If you decide to discuss his behaviors, you should first be mentally and emotionally prepared to handle your discovery.
Becoming open to his fantasies can go two ways.
1. The two of you become more open and experimental with sexual activities.
2. Or you become more distant and discouraged, which may lead to emotion/sexual distancing or eventual divorce.
Ideally, it is usually best to be open. But, are you prepare to take the step? If not, wait and give yourself time to grow.
Then, when you are ready. Slowly, kindly laying the ground work, and lovingly reveal your discovery to your husband. Good luck with your marriage.
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Good day all,
I'm asking this question because I have nowhere else to go.
So here follows the situation:
The day I asked my wife out, she confessed that she had been in a sexual relationship with her previous boyfriend. Although I had been saving sex for the woman I would marry, I assured her that I understood her situation and accepted her past. I was, however, fairly foolish, and never asked to what extent she had this relationship and wrongfully, by judging what person she was, assumed that it was a case that certain things happened that she was not proud of, but all within relative bounds.
About two years after we had been married, and our sex life was taking strain, I finally put one and one together and realized that she had been living with the above mentioned person for 4 years and that they basically had a married relationship. It was quite a shock to me, but I could not hold this against her too much as she had told me what her past was (though without enough detail) from the start.
We managed to remain relatively happy married for 5 years now. Our sex life is worse than ever. Her sex drive is gone and I am begging. I recently attempted improving it by asking what actions during intercourse turned her off. i.e was there certain activities that she disliked because of a previous bad experience. She then dumped a bucket on my head by revealing that she has been avoiding certain things that I've asked her to do, during sex, not because of a bad experience, but because she had done it so many times with her previous partner that she was sick of it.
Now, please understand: up to now we've struggled with our sexual relationship because she is a very shy person and can barely let me touch her body without feeling guilty or irritated. Or atleast that is the perception I have of her. I've been patiently working on getting her to loosen up for years. And she has loosened up a bit,although it later became obvious that sex was an effort for her.
After she revealed this new information I have come to realize that her past is quite different to what she lead me to believe. And I feel like I have walked into a trap. I was willing to love and cherish a woman with or without a high sex drive. But it has become clear that she did have quite a strong sexual nature. Unfortunately not with me.
It is destroying my soul.
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Dear "It is destroying my soul" Your wife's previous sexual activity is not the problem, as I see it. The problem is your wife's disinterest in sex or low sex drive. This is a common problem for many married couples i.e. "incompatible sex drives." I believe trying to encourage your wife's sexuallity is usually not that successful over the long term. Accepting your wife's sexual nature and developing your personal masturbation techniques and frequency is a more viable option. Also, maintain a caring support presence with your wife and enjoy the infrequent times you both desire/agree to make love. In short, decrease love making in marriage is a common phenomenon. Good luck in your marriage.
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