khadiya's advice column | khadiya's Advice About General Sex Questions

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Q: I started my second package of TriNessa birth control the other night (the white pills) and woke up around 4 am feeling nauseous and the same thing happened this morning as well. (which was my second night taking it)

Is this normal? Is it from the birth control?

This is normal. This is one of the side effects and its probably from the estrogen. But if you don't like the feeling go get switched to a different pill.

Q: when im having sex, should i moan? and whats a good way to have good fingering? and when giving oral should i suck and lick?

if you want to. whatever makes you feel better. And as far as the other part, do what you think feels right, or ask your partner what they like.

Q: ok so i'm planning to have sex on wednesday (3 days from now) but im way late on getting my birth control shot (depo-provera) and i plan to get my shot either tomorrow or on tuesday. I've heard that it's effective within 24 hours but does anyone know the details on that?... like does it matter when your period is or if its 23 hours instead of 24
Basically what im asking is if its ok for me to get the shot on tuesday after school and then have sex wednesday after school (but wednesday is a half day so it wouldnt be quite 24 hours) also im spotting right now if that makes a difference.

It is effective, but it is a slight chance that you could still get pregnant. Birth control isnt %100 percent if it isnt taken correctly. that means it must stay constant. you arent likely to get pregnant if you have sex the next day if you get the shot on tuesday if you have had the shot before because it actaully takes the shot 3 to 12 months to get completely out of your system. But it doesnt hurt to be safe and use a condom.

Q: i used to be proud of my size down there as it was above 5.5 inches and i had read that was average.but my gf says its skinny (its 4 inches around) and doesnt get her off.she told me months ago and i have not slept since.help!

sorry it took so long to write back. leave her! what one girl isnt happy with another one will be.

Q: how long will i need to wait to have sex after i get birth control? like we reaaaaaally want to. we've been together for 7 months and haven't! i mean..do we have to wait a full month for the bc to kick in? does it work at all right when you start using it?

Every one has it right, about a week or more and USE CONDOMS! But thee most important thing is MAKE SURE YOU TAKE THE PILL EVERY SINGLE DAY AT THE SAME TIME or it will not be ass effective!! If you miss a day and try to double up, it doesnt work. If you take it a different times every day, IT DOESNT WORK CORRECTLY. So be careful! Or try some LONG TERM birth control.

Q: my very, very best friend just told me she cuts herself and that her mom is abusive. her parents divorced this summer and thats when she started. she lied to me about a big mark on her arm and i knew she was upset so later i asked her if it was her mom again. she and her mom have had tons of fights but i never knew how badly her mom treated her. and i had never guessed about the cutting. i have cut myself but only a few times and i stopped and i still somewhat struggle with self-injuring (i pinch myself occasionally) but im fine now. but her mom through her out of the house for like 45 min she was out in the cold rain. and her mom has hit her with shoes and pulled her hair and yells at her and tells her shes a horrible person. her mom never makes time for her and is always working or with her new boyfriend. my friend hates her moms new bf because he takes all her moms time away. she tries to talk to her mom but she never understands and just yells at her. she goes to church with me and is trying so hard to be a good Christian and her mom knows that so she was telling her she doesnt have God and isnt a Christian and that shes a terrible person and hits her and stuff. she lives with her dad a lot but still her mom just as often but i told her she lives in an abusive place (with her mom) and shes probably going to just stay with her dad.

i know her mom needs help but who should she tell because we're only 14 and i know her mom is abusive and everything but idk what to do about it. i think she should tell her dad tho right? and she sees a physciatrist and told her mom about the cutting but her mom acts like she doesnt care. her mom like has took everything of hers away and one time took all her clothes except a tshirt and shorts and said thats all she got for like a month and stuff like that. can people just please tell me the process of what she needs to do to get away from her mom and get her mom help? and im helping my bff and she said she will call me whenever she wants to cut and shes upset and she only cuts when her mom is screaming at her and they have fought and stuff. please help me this is so important and i love my bff so, so, so much. thank you more than you can imagine

btw i d k if i said this but her parents are divorced and she likes being with her dad and she has a younger brother whos ten but he never gets yelled at really or hit or anything. also she has thought of suicide and once got pills and really wanted too but then thought of her dad and friends and brother so she didnt. Thank God. please help me im scared for my friend. thank you!!

She should tell her dad immediately!! If she doesnt, you tell him. Tell your school consoler, tell your mom, your dad, anyone who will listen! Just tell an adult they will get her help. If you tell your school consuler, they will contact her dad. You can also call the department of human services, ask them who can you speak to about an abusive parent and tell them whats going on, they will handle it!! Do anything you can as soon as possible or your friend can be in worse danger! Even if she says she doesnt want help, she does, shes just scared!

Q: Well I am going to this clinic hopefully tomorrow and I just want to know wether they will make me pay for a Blood Test or Not. I just need results, also I read up on it and they say that they also do urine tests. I think that will be better than a needle but either way...do you think they will charge me if I take a test even if I do have a Insurance card?

They may charge you a fee from your insurance. A copay. And The blood test is actually better the could posibbily do both, and it takes two weeks to come back. So places do charge for there blood tests but Im not sure of the price.

Q: Hi, I'm 15 and a girl. I want to try and get on the contracptive pill but I'd rather not tell my parents it is cos I am sexually active. Is there any medical reasons that can help me get on it? My periods are irregular and I get bad period pains, Could I get put on it to help that? thanks x

They will definitely put you on pills to regulate your periods. And the bad pains, their maybe something wrong with you. You might really want to get that check out. Get your mom to take you to the doctor for that reason, and when you get back there by yourself then let him know about everything.

Q: I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend on march 9th. He withdrew and didnt cum in me. His precum should be clean bc he did not previously ejaculate and he went to the bathroom beforehand. A few days later we did it again and withdrew that time as well. We did it a third time a few days later and this time i took a Plan B pill the next day just to be safe. I usually get my period about the first of every month. Its usually a regular cycle and it stays the same. I should be getting it in the next 5 days. Im totally worried. It seems like Im having the early symptoms too. Im not sure if im imagining it though. Maybe Im just paying closer attention. The symptoms i have are the sore breasts, frequent urination, headache, nausea, and fatigue. Note: Im also getting over being sick and the nausea is only my stomach feeling queasy. And my stomach hurting has been hurting on and off since before the time we had sex. We havent done it before the 9th and we havent done anything that would get me pregnant before then either. I dont know if Im pregnant or not. Are my chances really high?

Also I dont want any answers saying how stupid we are and lectures. Whats done is done. I just want advice.

Well since you didnt take plane be the first two times you may still be pregnant. Plan b only works the first 72 hours after you've had sex, so what if you got pregnant one of the times before? It could be your imagination though. Sometimes your body will react like your pregnant if you think about it too much. Buy a test take it out the box sneak it in your house take the test and sneak it back out. But wait until after you miss your period.
O and by the way, pulling out really doesnt work. You can get pregnant from precum.

Q: My girl friend took plan B towards the end of last year not exactly sure when. I know it's bad but can she take it again?

Im sure she can, but the best thing to do is ask a doctor. You can make an anonymous call. Especially if you call your local health department. I recommend she starts birth control. Its different types she can get that her parents wont even have to know about. and until then I recommend a condom.

The tips: Instead of pills get her to try something else like An Implanon. Search it in Google. Its an implant that goes in your arm and its good for three years. NO MAINTENANCE at all. She wont be able to feel it and no one but her and you and whomever she chooses to tell will know its there.

Q: What are ways to shave down there?

Well you always shave in the direction that the hair is growing. And also they have stuff in the store for those areas creams, lotions, and all that good stuff to stop razor bumps. Also a good thing to do is to do is to get some manicure scissors and trim it as short as you can before you try and shave it. So you wont have any issues.

Q: well im a girl and when i finger myself i start to ejaculate quickly
is this normal?

For some this is normal. Some girls are more sensitive than others.

Q: does discharge weird a guy out?

Not if he is educated on sexual health. A lot of guys know that that is supposed to be there. I hope you arent weirded out by it because its very healthy. It cleanses your vagina.

Q: what is pre-cum? one of my friends mentioned it and i started talking to my bf about it. he told me he had jacked off before and he knew nothing of any liquid before the cum. . so what is it? when does it happen ? im so confused. a little help please :D

It is the liquid that comes before the cum. It serves a purpose. It cleans the urethra of leftover pee and dead semen thats left over in the penis. A lot of men say that they dont see this but some times it can be very faint or it will come out with the cum and its very runny at first.

Q: When girls give BJ, I heard they swallowed the cum. is it true?

Thats a choice not something you absolutely HAVE to do.

Q: I'm going on birth control very soon. I have made an appointement with the doctor and I have to speak to her for a half hour. witch questions will he ask me? and also, whats the best kind of birth control out there?
thanks

I have a low maintenance birth control called Implanon. It is an implant which goes in the opposite arm you write with and it can stay in for up to three years. You dont even know its there and it can be taken out whenever you want. It has a website just search it in Google
Mirena is also another type of low maintenance and long last birth control. Its good for five years. The doctor puts it in your vagina for you.
I like anything thats low maintenance.
You can get depo, you have to get a shot ever 3 months. the patch is weekly.

The downsides and upsides to these are with the Depo, there is a chance that you will have NO PERIOD!!! That goes for the Implanon also.
And the marina your period will be heavy.

Q: Okay me and my girl are very happy together and I love her to death. We have sex as often as possible for as long as possible. We've had sex for seven hours on a couple of occasions. She likes it when I throw her into different positions and she likes it kindve rough. All that's fine but I'm starting to run out of ideas and I don't want her to be bored. Really nothings off limits here so be as imaginative as you want to be. Tips and hints are always welcome too. Thanks

Since I dont want to get in trouble for answering this, I would say the best thing to do is purchase a Karma Sutra. Its a sex book. Its sold in the book store, you may have to be 18 to buy it but im not sure. It has every damn position you can think of and more.

Q: Yeahh okay im 14/f, im not to young so dont even say that cause im about to be 15. Dont worry!
So like im not saying i want it to happen, like having sex. But sometimes it just happens, and I want to be prepared. Because me and this guy were making out like A LOT on the floor and like he started to unzip my pants and stuff, but I have MORALS! I told him not to. But like even if I wanted to go for it, like idk if Im ready. Like in the emotinal since and like physically because im not on birth control : which im really scared to ask my mom about, and I didnt have a condom, like I know he may have had one but I wouldve felt better if I carried them too : which I would feel very embarassed about buying.

So what I really am asking advice about it is:
-How do I know Im ready?
-How do I tell my mom I might need birth control?
-How do I find a way to be more comfortable buying condoms?

In general how do I protect myself! lol

Thank you for reading this long piece of crap :]]

BEFORE YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE READS THIS LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR IM NOT SAYIN GO OUT AND HAVE SEX< IM JUST ANSWERING A QUESTION!!!

First off, dont be ashamed to buy condoms, because everybody has sex at least once in their life. You should confident that you had enough sense and responsibility to even want to use a condom.

If you feel that you dont know how to tell your ready, then your NOT EVEN CLOSE to being ready.
Dont waste your virginity on some guy that isnt going to be in your future. Trust me, he isnt.

Next Your 14, you really dont need to bring this up to your mom because she is going to have a major panic attack! But if you really feel it neccasery to get birth control then you should tell her that your have irregular periods and you want to go to a doctor. When you get back there, discuss your situation with your doctor. You can always go to a planned parenthood, or a health department also.

Q: How do you know when you have an orgasm? Like how does it feel?

Its hard to explain. Different people have different reactions. Some people have an overwhelming tingling sensation in their whole body, some people shake a little. TRUST ME you will know when you have one, because its a different feeling in your body.

Q: finger myseldf ?

15/f

Honestly if you dont know then you dont need to be trying to do it. But I will just say somewhere south.

bio

Its A brand new year!! And I havent really been giving advice lately so now IM BACK!! If you have something to ask dont hesitate to ask. DONT BE SHY!! I've been there! Or I know someone who has!

I am a black albino female whose been through alot!!! I have a lot advice to give. Im a very knowledgeable person, and i look at things from many different views. Im very blunt, so if you dont want to hear it straight dont ask me!! any thing else you wanna know get at me!

LET ME REINTRODUCE MYSELF REAL FAST, REAL QUICK!
iM A BLUNT PERSON, IF YOU ASK A GROWN UP QUESTION, IMA GIVE A GROWN UP ANSWER. RECENTLY A GIRL ASKED HOW TO GIVE A BLOWJOB AND I WAS VERY BLUNT AND UPFRONT WITH HER. I GOT SHUNNED FOR MY ACTIONS SO, BASICALLY. IM GOING TO TRY TO AVOID ANSWERING QUESTIONS LIKE THIS. BECAUSE ALL THOUGH THESE KIDS ASKING THESE QUESTIONS ARE YOUNG, THEY OBVIOUSLY BEEN DOING SOMETHING THEY AINT GOT NO BUSINESS DOING BECAUSE THE WOULDNT BE ASKING THOSE TYPES OF QUESTIONS.